Please Don't Hit Zero ~ IwaOi

~36~

One day remaining

Nerves have been wrecking me ever since yesterday. Keeping my focus has been getting harder, and I could feel Iwa glancing at me every now and then. When we finally got back home, I had to keep Mattsun from drinking, so we could focus on studying and get up easily the next morning.

But I was wrong. Getting up is never easy, but today has been even harder. I'm exhausted. My restlessness kept me somewhere between being awake and being asleep. And trying not to cry all day is rough, too...

If I don't get up, Mattsun won't, either. Staying in bed sounds really appealing, but I really don't want to do another year of school...

It seems the other boy doesn't care anymore, though. He hides under the blankets as soon as the alarm rings. "Can't we stay at home...?"

"We can be home all day after we graduate," I try to convince him as I turn the beeping sound off.

His head pops up again, and he shows me a sleepy pout, with his eyes still half closed and his hair all messy. The orange sunlight shines on him through a small crack between the curtains. It looks kind of cute, honestly, and once again makes me wish it was Matsu that I loved. I'm sure seeing this would've killed me if that was the case.

But it's not. "Your mom will get mad if you stay home again," I try to push him some more. "And I'll be lonely."

"You didn't seem to have much need for me yesterday," he huffs as he stretches out. "You shameless weirdo."

"I'm just making the most of it..." My voice grows softer. "I mean, I can't do anything anymore after tomorrow ends."

Matsu hums. "I guess I would've done the same. I wish I had known, too..."

"Are you sure?" I throw the blankets off of myself. "I'm not really enjoying this, to be honest."

"Well, at least you can prepare yourself mentally. And you can do whatever you want to, since it doesn't matter anyways."

If that were one hundred percent true, I would've done a lot more. Actions always impact other people. In this case, I might've hurt Lana. And maybe my reputation, too...

After letting out a soft sigh, I pick up my phone and put it in my pocket, feeling it buzz right as I do. Whoever it is will have to wait. I need to drag my new best friend to school first.

My heart hurts and my body feels heavy, so I decide to get him out of his bed by pulling him in my arms. I hug him tightly for a good minute, until the deep discomfort I feel fades a little.

It's kind of funny to think how I felt so nervous, sleeping half-naked with a straight man, but not at all with a gay man. I guess that's the power of love. And knowing that gay men aren't into every other man they see.

As soon as I pull away, Mattsun whines. "It's cold. Come back."

I put a shirt in his arms instead of my body. "We need to go, unless you want to run."

"So we're really not staying home?" He gives me his saddest puppy eyes.

"I'd rather go outside for the next two months than redo an entire year," I answer, not falling for his act.

The other looks sad, but complies anyways. Both of us get dressed before quickly hurrying out the door.

Matsu stays close to me, slightly shivering due to the freezing morning air. We can't dress too warm, though, because it'll be getting pretty hot after noon.

"April sucks," the black-haired boy groans. "The world sucks."

"Including me?" I pout at him jokingly.