Please Don't Hit Zero ~ IwaOi

~31~

Seven days remaining

I left Makki not much later. He was more chaotic, but not in the restless way. Just dazed. His brain must be processing things at last.

No more tears were shed, but I could feel how the sadness has taken a hold of him. He seems to accept it now, though, so I'm not that worried. I hope Iwaizumi will notice and keep an eye on him.

When I came back to Mattsun, he was still out of it. He constantly gave me blank stares that seemed to be looking right through me instead of at me, he wasn't listening, he barely realized any of the things he was doing. Where my pink-haired friend appeared to be feeling better after I talked to him, he only seemed to be getting worse.

The second I entered the room was his most clear one. The look in his eyes was desperate, curious, yet scared. He wanted to know how Makki is, but he was afraid to ask. For that moment only, he was easy to read. It went downhill after that.

Quietly, I told him how I made the boy he loves face the emotions he had been pushing down, how he had cried, how he stopped being mad and annoyed. It should have relieved him. It didn't.

As soon as I let out the first words, I watched as he went numb again, pain overwhelming him so much that his brain shuts everything down. I kept talking because I know he cares, but I'm not sure if I got through to him. For reasons I don't want to explain nor admit, I kept some things from him. He didn't notice, though.

I couldn't stand seeing him like this, so after an hour I convinced him to go to sleep. He was unwilling to, but he didn't have the energy or mental space to fight it, either. I held my dear friend closely the entire night, not closing my eyes for a single second. My worries kept my mind busy. Every movement of his, no matter how little, made me hug him tighter. The slightest hitch in his breath made adrenaline run through my veins.

The sun coming through the window makes me groan. Its bright light blinds me, even though my eyes are closed. Annoyed, I try to bury my face in Mattsun's back, which helps a little bit. It makes him stretch out, signaling that he is awake now. Or at least more awake than he was before.

He turns around and pulls me in a little closer. The world turns dark again, and I almost give in to the urge to rest for a bit longer. My eyes are burning. My muscles feel heavy. My head hurts.

But I want to see how the other is doing. Is he still as confused and distant? Is he hurting? Is he starting to develop the same habit as Makki?

With the way he is holding me, I can barely speak, so I make him loosen his grip on me by gently pushing against him. "Matsu?" I start in a soft voice.

"Hrmm?" A drowsy hum is all he can give in return.

I twist my body and move my face in a way that makes me able to be close to him while also being able to breathe and talk. "How are you?"

No answer. Well, at least he is not saying things that make no sense, like he did yesterday. He also appears to be more calm. His mind is probably no longer a big, fuzzy mess that takes up all of his focus and energy. If that's the case, good. If I'm wrong...

"Still tired?" I ask another question, a bit concerned.

Mattsun traps me once again. "Don't wanna get up..."

A quiet chuckle escapes me. Yeah, that sounds better. Not good, but certainly not as bad as it was. "You don't have to. It's still early in the morning, and we have vacation for a bit longer."

He takes a deep, content breath upon hearing this, and both of us fall silent again. It's weird how this is the total opposite of similar situations with Iwaizumi. Matsu's heartbeat is slow and natural, he is holding me like an actual teddy bear instead of a living, human alternative, and we are seeking each other's warmth for comfort. With Iwaizumi, both of our hearts are racing, I'm tense, he doesn't relax until he's actually sleeping, he's holding me like he's claiming me, and he acts weird.