CSI:NY The Saints Aren't Coming

Tears Toward Heaven

Chapter 75: Tears Toward Heaven

Gus woke again in a bed in the E/R, her arm, head and chest bandaged, and throbbing with pain. She struggled to sit, fighting at the wires and IVs attached to her, ripping them off despite the blaring alarms protesting against her doing so.

Her bedside was immediately filled with a bevy of medical professionals, thinking they had a code on their hands as opposed to an unruly patient. "Miss Broussard, I need you to calm down. Nurse Marin, get me a B52 ready."

This caused Gus to freeze. "It is Detective Broussard and I do not need Haldol or Ativan, I am not having a psychotic break. What I need is to be told when I can be released so I do not AMA on you so I can get back out there and do my job."

Gus saw Nurse Marin pull the doctor back, hearing her say, "diner shooting...partner...didn't make it." Gus once again became a flurry of activity, trying to get the rails of the bed to release. "What do you mean didn't make it, Jessica Angell, the other cop, where is she, what is happening?"

The nurse pushed the doctor out of the way as he seemed to still want to restrain Gus. "I'm sorry, Detective, I just heard the surgeon brief, was it her husband? The tall cop. The trauma was too great, she coded in surgery. I am certain they did everything they could, I am sorry for your loss."

Gus let out a wail, the fight leaving her, replaced by grief.

Despite her great protestations, the doctor refused to release Gus, wanting to keep her under observation. He was concerned about her concussion given her recent trauma history as well as any residual blunt force delay injury.

She wasn't surprised to learn of her cracked ribs or that her head wound needed a few stitches. The only thing keeping her from leaving against medical advice was the doctor's threats to put in her both physical and chemical restraints. Gus knew that would only prolong her hospital stay and require a psych consult.

She couldn't remember ever feeling so helpless, except for when she was at OPP as the flood waters rose after Katrina and complete anarchy descended over her beloved city. At least then she hadn't been confined to a bed, even if every second was a fight to stay alive.

She truly mourned Angell's death knowing it could have just as easily been her, perhaps should have been her. She regretted the last words she spoke to the woman were awash with bitterness.

No matter how much jealousy and envy she had, Gus would have traded places with Jess in a heartbeat. The other woman had so much more going for her than Gus did at the moment, beyond just Flack. Don, her heart ached for him more than it ever had. She knew he must be devastated beyond belief, that he would never be the same after this.

Not to mention it was probably already circulating that she was wearing a vest and Angell wasn't, regardless that protocol highly suggested they do so. She probably wouldn't have been if Doyle hadn't made her. Doyle, he had saved her life, no doubt about it. So much for that being an uncomplicated one night stand.

As if the universe wanted to taunt her, she looked up to see none other than Jimmy Doyle standing sheepishly at the foot of her bed. Her emotions overtook her again as she saw the look of grave concern on her face. "I think I owe you a new vest, Jimmy," she said between painful sobs.

He moved to her bedside, gently laying a hand on her back until her tears subsided. "Don't worry about the frigging vest, kid, how are you?"

"Concussion, bruises, four cracked ribs, a couple of stitches and a tetanus shot thanks to a disgusting dumpster. Just another day on the job," she said, trying to sigh.

He pulled up a chair, reaching out for her arm. Clearing his throat he said, "I don't know if you know but Angell-"

Gus closed her eyes, wanting to spare him having to tell her what she already knew. "The nurse told me, she didn't make it. I can't believe it, Jimmy, one second we are having breakfast, getting ready to walk a kid across the street and..." she trailed off, ."..and now I am stuck here and can't do anything to help. Do you know anything?"