CSI:NY The Saints Aren't Coming

Peacemaker

Chapter 14: Peacemaker

An early morning session with Dr. Lyons brought Gus little insight other than she was normal. "Jealousy is not an irrational emotion, Gus. Especially since you seem to be handling it in a mature manner" Lyons said to her after she spilled out her heart on every last twinge she had had since returning to New York regarding Flack.

"You mean I am not slashing his tires or boiling bunnies?" Gus dripped.

"I meant you are neither avoiding him nor throwing yourself at him" Lyons remarked.

"Go me, the poster child for balance" Gus curled up in the chair.

"You can't expect to slip back into things like the summer didn't happen, you know it doesn't work that way" Lyons pressed on.

"But I used to be able to. I used to just not let things effect me and I was able to pick back up!" Gus protested.

"No, you ran away or you hid, you stuffed things down and didn't deal with them. You drank or smoked or cut or did other high risk behaviors to ignore your feelings, which worked in the short-term, worked in an adolescent world where there were not as many consequences. Welcome to the party of adulthood, Gus" Lyons explained.

"I think I RSVP'd no" Gus sniffed.

"I highly doubt that" Lyons laughed, "you have been playing adult for a long time, now that you actually have to be one, you might be resenting some of the things you missed out on."

Gus narrowed her eyes and thought, "Go on" she said.

"Nope, I am just the beam of light, illuminating, you have to go there on your own, Gus."

Gus snorted, "Better than just being a tool in my toolbox, I suppose. But I get what you are saying. I ran away because I was rebelling when faced with a very adult decision coming on the heels of a life or death situation. I then proceeded to throw myself into a very bleak set of circumstances that forced me to be very much an adult at work while screwing around when I wasn't there. Realizing that wasn't going to fly long term, I worked myself until I burned out and realized I had to face the music back here. And now I am learning to live with my choices as best I can because I now have enough insight to know that I can survive, no matter what the end result may be." Gus ended, slumped and spent.

"I think you have just earned the only one session a week prize" Lyons remarked.

"Some prize" Gus said with a grin.

"How about next week we talk about your hesitancy to go back out into the field?" Lyons suggested.

"Can't wait" Gus dripped.

Gus walked in to the pit, already exhausted before she even started her shift. "I know you didn't have a late night, I saw you leave," Flack said, as Gus slouched at her desk, clutching her coffee like the holy grail.

"How do you know I went home?" she said, slurping at her coffee.

"You got me there," Flack replied, a slight dimple forming, his interest piqued.

Gus shook her head, "Who am I kidding? Preschoolers have more of a life than I do, currently. Doc put me through the wringer first thing, without even having had coffee first."

Flack sat torn between bemusement and concern, he didn't say anything waiting to see if she was going to give him any more information. A few minuted went by, "Nice use of silence, Flack. But if you want to know more, you are gonna have to ask" Gus remarked, a glint in her eye.

"Only if you want to share" Flack volleyed back.

"Apparently I am all grown up now. I just had to rebel a little to figure that out. Delayed adolescence. Oh and he seems to think I am normal" a smile played at her lips.