Part 55: Taking It Slow

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Zoey narrates.

We leave the restaurant after dinner, as AJ clings onto my hand, swinging his legs in the air, and Zara talks to Aaron about her ballet classes.

The air is cold outside, and in getting the kids ready, I forgot to bring my jacket. Aaron notices, and places his coat around my shoulders, as the kids walk ahead in front of us.

'Thanks...' I say, and he nods.

After a little while, we reach my car, as we get the kids in and belted up.

'Alright, I love you both. I'll see you this weekend, okay?' Aaron says, kissing them both.

'Bye, papa!'

'I'll be 5 minutes, okay, I'm just out here talking to papa. Zara, stop winding him up.' I say to them both, as I close the car door, and stand behind the car, on the street with Aaron, who looks down, shuffling his feet.

'So, last night.' I say, hoping that this time he'll do the talking.

'Zoey, last night was...special. Well, at least to me.' He says, looking directly into my eyes.

'It was special for me too.' I say quietly, looking at the ground.

He takes his hand and lifts my chin so that I'm facing him.

'Zoey, I know what you're thinking. We've done this before. And each time it hasn't worked out for us. But...I don't know, this time feels different.' He says.

'I want what's best for the kids.' I say.

'So do I.' He replies.

'But what if us being together is what's best for them? You saw the look on Zara's face when we agreed to go to her recital together. How much longer do you want her to feel split between her parents?' He adds.

'I'm scared.' I whisper.

'Me too. But I feel less scared when I'm with you.' He says, intertwining his hand with mine.

'What if we took it slow?' I suggest.

'Figure out if we really do want to get back together. See how the kids feel when we're all together more often. No rush. We'll keep it on the down-low and not tell anyone, so that it's a decision made by us and by us only?' I say.

'I like that.' He says.

I nod, looking at his hand gripped on to mine.

'So, I'll text you later?' I say.

'I look forward to it.' He says, smiling.

He steps forward and holds my chin with his hand, leaning down, and then kissing my lips, and then placing a quick kiss on my neck.

I smile at him, as he turns around and starts to leave.

'Aaron, wait.' I say, walking up to him, and wrapping my arms around his neck, in a hug.

He reciprocates, as I hear a little laugh, and he rubs my back gently.

'I love you.' I whisper in his ear.

'I love you.' He says, as I let him go, before walking back to the car.

When I get in, I hear Zara and AJ arguing in the back, and I rest my head on the steering wheel, blocking them out, because for the first time in a long while, I can't stop smiling.

_____

After we arrive home, I get AJ ready for bed.

'Mom, I'm tired. I don't want you to read to me.' He says, as I fix his blanket over him, and then sit on the edge of his bed.

'Are you sure?' I ask.

He nods.

'I'm happy that you and papa are friends again.' He says, as my eyes widen, surprised.

'What do you mean?' I ask.

'I saw you today. When you kissed him.' He says, as I gasp.

'Did your sister see as well?' I ask.

'No, she was too busy playing games on your phone.' He replies, yawning.

'Baby, listen here. I know what you saw today. But...that's just...adult business, okay? It doesn't mean that I'm getting back together with your dad.' I say.

'I know, mom.' He replies.

'But I need you to promise me that you won't tell anyone what you saw, okay?' I say.

'Why?' He asks.

'Just...mommy needs to think about some stuff, okay.' I say, more to myself than to him.

'So I have to keep it a secret?' He says, as his eyes widen in excitement.

'Yes, exactly! It's a secret. And you can't tell anyone. It's just between you and me.' I reply, as he nods vigorously.

'Okay, mom! I love secrets!' He says, closing his eyes.

'I know you do, sweetie.' I say, laughing, as I stroke his head and then kiss his cheek.

'Goodnight, my love. You look just like your dad.' I say, before leaving.

_____

I head back to my room, and open a drawer, pulling out a red, velvet box.

I open it, and inside, my wedding ring glistens.

_____

Flashback.

'It's over...' I say, broken.

'Zoey...' Ana says, her eyes teary, as she sits, speechless.

I stare at my hand, at my wedding ring, and start to cry.

'I don't know how I'm going to do this.' I say, crying, as she comes over and hugs me, whilst I break down.

'I can't do it...I can't...' I say.

After a little while, still crying, I finally take my ring off and put it in the box.

'Zoey...you've got to be strong for the kids.' She says, her voice shaking.

I spend the rest of the night wrapped in Ana's arms, silent tears streaming down my face, the ring box gripped tightly in my hand, held to my chest.

Flashback ends.

_____

I quickly wipe a tear. I can't put this ring on since it'll draw attention.

But instead, I keep it on my bedside table. So that every morning, I can think of Aaron. Just like I have been.

_____

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