She Devil | ✔︎

Sixty-five.

Isn't that a line from Sinead O'Connor? Thank you for breaking me? It's something I've never. understood before. It used to sound like authorization to hurt someone, although retroactively.

Now I understand. Only a lover can inflict such a severe wound, cutting to the core. That kind of trauma needs to come from within. You shattered me and stood there watching me bleed.

My heartbreak is grueling grief that comes in waves, robbing me of my appetite and sleep. It's a shard in my gut that never leaves, though the edges may mellow over time.

It seems like death, similar to bereavement, and it chokes my body's breath and short circuits my thoughts at calm moments.

That is my anguish, knowing that you, my sweetheart, are the instrument of my deepest suffering.

I could be harmed in any way and still bounce back, but you... but you... can do far worse with just a few small words. I know you don't mean them, and that makes things worse.

Since the last confrontation with Vladimir and Kenji, a day has passed. As of that day, my heart has been snatched away.

I was put in a room. Vladimir claimed it was mine. He explained that he knew what I loved and got it ready for me.

My favorite color is dark red, like blood. but the room is greenish However, he wouldn't know it.

My body hasn't moved since I went to bed. After crying for a whole day, I puked three times on an empty stomach.

Outside, there are four guards. and the door is securely shut. I overhear them discussing the ceremony, but I have no idea what Vladimir has in mind.

I go to bed to avoid thinking about Kenji, but he keeps appearing in my dreams. which are now more similar to nightmares

what a plot twist he was.

They unlock the door, place my meal on the nightstand, and take the dinner they left the night before, which is still uneaten.

I don't eat this time either. I draw the duvet over my head and remain in that position for some time. However, I then hear Evelyn's voice.

"You have a shitface." I hear her snort. I swiftly remove the cover and get up, finding her beaming in front of me.

"How did you-" I begin to inquire, but she quickly silences me and grabs my hand to the restroom. We're both standing in front of the mirror.

"You must stand up. You can't stay here and cry about men. You can't make them see how frail you are. " She says.

I chuckle and switch on the water to brush my teeth; when I'm done, I return my gaze to the mirror, but she isn't there.

I go into the room to see if she's is there, but there is no one there. I was having hallucinations. It wasn't real.

I'm going insane since I'm seeing people who aren't even here.

I sat on the bed, my legs drawn up to my chest. The door reopens, and the guards enter. I don't pay attention to them. I zonk out by keeping my eyes on the floor.

I can smell their fear.

"Athenarel, the ceremony is due to commence soon, corporate with the servants, they will help you get ready," a speaker from the room says. When I hear Vladimir's voice from someplace in the room, I realize he has cameras here.

of course, he does.

Three servers enter with large boxes and wait for me to make a move. I rise and they all take a step backward. A year ago, I would have loved to have had such an impact on others. But it doesn't matter to me anymore.