British Isles Bros

302 8 2
                                    

^ art is not mine

Characters: England, Scotland, Wales, Ireland, Britain, Northern Ireland
(For reference: England is the oldest, then Ireland, Northern Ireland's his twin, and then Scotland, Wales, and finally Britain)

Scotland: you were so drunk last night bro.
Ireland: how'd you say that?
Scotland: you asked me to drive you home
Ireland: so? I was being cautious!
Scotland: but the party was at your house

~~~

England: Scotland, could you embarrass me any more?
Scotland: Oh, that's a great question and the answer is yes.

~~~

Britain: Everyone synchronize your watches.
England: *does it no problem*
Scotland: I don't know how to do that.
Ireland: I don't wear a watch.
Wales: Time is a construct.
Britain: oh for the love of god

~~~

England: If it excites you and scares the crap out of you at the same time, that means you should probably do it.
Scotland:
Scotland: Well, i guess it's time to go fuck a blender
England, running after him: ScotlaND, NO

~~~

England: I've done plenty of things out of the goodness of my heart for you, haven't I?
Ireland: Like what?
England: Well, I can't remember right now. You're putting me on the spot

~~~

Scotland, drunk: why don't we just put all of the ocean water into a cup, clean out the bottom, and then pour it back?
Ireland, also drunk: I don't know, that's a lot of water, bro... we might need two cups
Britain, grabbing the champagne bottle: okay, that's enough alcohol for today

~~~

Ireland: Am I right?
Britain: I am almost certain you are not, but to be honest, I wasn't listening.

~~~

Scotland: Prick.
England: Blocked.
Scotland: Wait, unblock me, I need to tell you something.
England: Unblocked.
Scotland: Prick.

~~~

Wales: i'm so nervous about this C- I got in my test
Northern Ireland: i'm sure England would understand
Wales: you don't understand
Wales: its not England I'm scared of
Wales: its Britain

~~~

Ireland: So England sneezed earlier and I accidentally said 'shut the fuck up' instead of 'bless you'.
Northern Ireland: How do you accidentally say 'shut the fuck up'?

~~~

Ireland, drunk: Tooth fairies are a much smaller and friendlier subspecies of the larger and much more hostile bone fairies
England: Thank you for this bespoke nightmare
Scotland: Bro forget that, how much money do I get for a femur under my pillow?!

~~~

Britain: Where's Wales?
England: He's being an idiot.
Britain, nervously: What kind of an idiot?
England: The 'Everything is Now on Fire' kind of idiot.

~~~

[After Britain became a father and the rest became uncles]
England: Everyone loves Fish and Chips!
Ireland: I don't think he can eat solid food
Wales: Well then put it in the blender!
Scotland, holding Baby America: Well if you say so
Britain: THE FISH AND CHIPS NOT THE BABY

~~~

Britain: Did France just tell me she loved me for the first time?
Wales: Yeah, she did.
Britain: And did I just do finger guns back?
Wales: Yeah, you did.

~~~

Ireland: *texting* Who is this? Scotland changed all the names in my phone to mythical creatures.
Northern Ireland: Who am I?
Ireland: Dwarf.
Northern Ireland: WHAT THE FUCK?! I'M NOT THAT SHORT!
Ireland: Hey North

~~~

England: St. Jude, patron saint of lost causes, please pray for my forgiveness for I know my family is one.

~~~

Wales: Bad things keep happening to me, like I have bad luck or something.
England: You don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass

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