More of these...
Characters: America, Canada, New Zealand, Australia, Britain
Australia, holding a camera like he's filming a nature show: and here we see the wild America in his natural habitat.
Australia: now we will preform the mating call of the species to see how he responds
Australia, at the top of his lungs: WHERE DID YOU COME FROM WHERE DID YOU GO
America, calling back at the same volume: WHERE DID YOU COME FROM COTTON EYED JOE
Australia: we have yet to discover what these strange noises mean, but it seems this specimen has reacted positively.
~~~
New Zealand, to Canada: I just walked into my room and saw Australia with a light bulb in his mouth and I was like "what the hell are you doing?" And he goes "I was having a light snack" and leaves. I'm so done.
New Zealand: AND THEN DAD JUST CAME IN WITH A LIGHT BULB TOO AND AUSSIE SHOUTS "I ALREADY DID THAT JOKE" AND THEN DAD GROUNDED HIM WHAT IS HAPPENING TO OUR FAMILY
~~~
America: You didn't happen to bring any coffee, did you, Aussie?
Australia: *hands him a cup* Milk and sugar.
America: Awesome, you're a life saver.
America: *Takes a sip*
America: *Pauses* ...Wait, is this just milk and sugar?
Australia: That's what I said.
~~~
Nobody:
Absolutely nobody:
Australia: platypuses are animals that produce both eggs and milk, making them portable sources of omelets
~~~
America: You ever make dinner and stare into the sauce like an Oracle peers into a sacred pool, to gain divine insight?
New Zealand:
New Zealand: Are you concussed?
America: Heavily
~~~
Canada: guys what color do you think America's shirt is?
Australia: gray
New Zealand: gray
Canada: now tell them what *you* think the color is
America: dark white
~~~
New Zealand: why are you posing? There's no cameras here.
America: google earth. It's always taking pictures.
New Zealand:
New Zealand: *starts posing*
~~~
Britain: How did you guys get arrested?
America: We honestly don't know.
Australia: Yeah! We did nothing wrong!
Canada: They got pulled over and when the officer said, "Paper," America said, "Scissors" and drove off.
~~~
America: man i hate how you can't steal while online shopping
Australia: credit card fraud
New Zealand: act like it never arrived and get a refund
Canada:
Canada: for obvious reasons, i hope those are jokes
~~~
America: i forgot the name for that one thing, but i can't ask Canada, he will never let me live this down
Australia: i can help!
America: it's that hard cube made out of frozen water
Australia:
Australia: crunch water
~~~
Canada: Chemistry? More like CheMYSTERY because I have no idea what's going on
Australia: Calculus? More like CalKILLus because a piece of my sanity dies with every question
New Zealand: Biology? More like BYEology because I'm outta here
America: Math? More like no
~~~
America: *wakes up in the middle up the night to see Australia an inch from his face*
Australia: so we had this id-- stop screaming-- so we had this idea
America: what the hell? Who's "we"?
New Zealand, popping up beside Australia: so we had this idea
America, backing away: dear god there's two of them
~~~
Australia: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.
America: Killed without hesitation.
Australia: No.
~~~
Australia: We need a distraction.
America: Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises?
New Zealand, whispering: My time has come
~~~
Britain: While I'm gone, America, you're in charge.
America: Yes!!!
Britain, whispering: Canada, you're secretly in charge.
Canada: Obviously.
~~~
Australia: I made a mistake and now I feel dumb
Canada: it's okay, everyone makes mistakes. Don't be so hard on yourself.
Australia: I set myself on fire.
America: lmao how
~~~
America: *pulls out a knife*
Canada: oh no
America: *opens a cardboard box with it*
Canada: oh ok
America: *pulls a gun out of the box*
Canada: OH NO
~~~
Canada: You know how people say, "How are you?"
America: Yeah...
Canada: Well, how come everyone is always good? Am I the only one who's bad sometimes?
America: No, of course not.
Canada: Okay... So, how are you?
America: I'm good.
~~~
Britain: I'm gonna ask you to be respectful.
America: I'm going to politely decline.
~~~
Canada: You shouldn't be using a straw
America: I know, I know, it's bad for the turtles
Canada: No it's just...
Canada: it's a really weird way to eat spaghetti
~~~
Canada: What do we do??
America: I don't know!
Australia: But you're the oldest!
America: NoT mEnTaLlY!!!
~~~
Britain: What are you doing?
Canada: Playing tea party.
Britain: Oh! That's nice!
America, yeeting the teapot into the pool: I fucking hate taxes.
~~~
Canada: I mean, everyone's a little gay...
America: Well i'm a big gay in fact today I'm coming out as the world's biggest gay--
~~~
Canada: I hope you didn't forget about me, like I forgot about the spider in the orange juice.
YOU ARE READING
CountryHumans Incorrect Quotes
Fanfictionyeah uhm.... enjoy some skits, as me and my friends call them. I don't even know what characters are gonna be in here so.... hope it's good! Updates are slow but they will happen!! Also Disclaimer I don't support any of the bad things in this book i...
