Leaving the Horse

Chapter 34

I pounded on the sides of the white padded room I was thrown into. I screamed out to anyone who could hear me.

"Why would you keep me alive when I destroyed the entire city? How many times do I need to warn you that I'm dangerous?"

I slammed my fists on the sides of the stall again.

"Kill me already! Get it over with you fools!"

It was no use. The room was window-less and dully padded. There was no negotiating with them right now.

Letting out an exaggerated growl of fury, I pounded both firsts on the cushioned wall one more time before pounding into the far corner and collapsing, wrapping my arms around my legs as I fingered my pants defiantly.

They have no idea what they are dealing with.

I could hardly think straight. My powers were inaccessible and I had no idea why.

Yeah I do... Because when I don't need my magic it's there and ruining my life and when I could actually use some of it, I can't!

I was breathing hard and rapidly from my exertion earlier so I decided to stop pity partying and concentrate on calming down. I needed a break from this and if death wasn't going to be my break I would have to make due with happy memories.

Happy memories that don't include Josh...

I felt bitterness toward him right now.

I wondered if I should think back to my foster parents and my early years with them but those times seemed so far away and so unreal that I couldn't grasp them as happy memories anymore.

I decided to think about my early life as a horse.

I remembered my horse friends. Thunder, Rain, Scarlet and several others. I realized I missed my horse friends dearly.

When life wasn't complicated.

I always felt lonely and bored as a horse, often wishing for a social life with the humans. Little did I know how complicated human life could actually be.

There are perks such as being with the people you want to be with.

I remembered how Scarlet was sold to another stable and how hard it was to say goodbye. How I'd never see her again.

It's probably no big deal for most horses. But it was for me. My life is messed up.

I wanted to know it would be alright but I didn't think it would be. I could go back to the life of a horse but it would be too hard. I would still get urges at times to be human. Wouldn't it just be easier if I was out of the picture?

I looked up suddenly at the loud click coming from across the room. Josh entered, shutting the door with a loud 'click' behind him, gazing at me through tired blue eyes.

"I see your having a ton of fun," I said sarcastically. I was mixed between making it sound like I was angry or just a joke to lighten the awkward tension. I couldn't decide so I decided to be weary and neutral and let him sort out what I was getting at.

"It's been hard." He agreed, combing his messy dark hair back with a single hand.

"Now what?" I asked bluntly. I was too tired for small chat.

"Now we need to talk about what happened," Josh prodded gently, coming over and sitting down across from me, wrapping his hands around his legs like I was. "Why you are seeking out dangers and trying to get yourself killed..."

I didn't want to talk to him. But I could tell by how he sat with a straight back, holding his chin a little higher and gazing unblinkingly at me that he was stubborn and would wait forever for my answer.