Throat Knife | Y.Jw

| 54 |

I quietly gave Jungwon's hand a small squeeze as I just looked at him as a small smile spread on his lips and he simply shook his head before letting out a breathy laugh. He almost seemed to be in disbelief of something.

"It's alright," I quietly whispered and Jungwon just shook his head as he pursed his lips instead and glanced down at me.

"You don't know if it's alright," he corrected making me just shrug at him.

"Would you do it again?" I questioned and he simply shrugged in return as I began tracing small circles on the back of his hand by using my thumb, "Jung-"

"I think I would," he hummed quietly with a small nod, "but not for the same selfish reasons."

"I don't think I get-" I started and he just turned his head to smile down at me.

"What I did before was for my own survival, I would only do it again if it was for your survival," he quietly explained as he tried to surpress a smile.

I pretended to gag and rolled my eyes as I placed my hand on his cheek and tried to turn his face away from looking at me, to absolutely no avail.

"What?" he questioned quietly with a small hint of amusement.

"Too cheesy," I complained and stopped my attempts to push his gaze away from me.

"From the heart," he corrected and proudly patted the left side of his chest.

"I still wonder what you did... but... I guess..." I sighed as I looked out into the darkness again, "well... I won't force you to tell me if you don't want to."

"I never said I didn't want to," he reminded with a small smirk, "but I said I feared what might happen if I did."

"And I already told you I won't judge you for it," I reminded him once more with an equal as sly smirk as his.

"God I need to pull myself together, I'm absolutely head over heels," he sighed as he simply shook his head in disbelief, "okay.... I'll tell you."

"Really?" I immediately beamed and straightened my back, the extra hoodie immediately falling off my shoulders as Jungwon let go of my hand and rushed to place it back onto my shoulders while he nodded, a small smile dawning on his lips.

"Just give me a few seconds to think of how to explain it," he excused and I quietly nodded as I grabbed the edges of the hoodie and pulled it tighter around my shoulders, sitting in silence as Jungwon quietly was sitting beside me, deep in thoughts as a frown grew on his face, "okay," a small sigh escaped him and I glanced over at him, "I got it."

"Are you sure?" I questioned and he quietly nodded.

"Yeah," he breathed out, "I am."

"Go ahead," I muttered and he just nodded before visibly gulping down and sucking in a deep breath.

"So years ago.... before everyone else we know came along to the base, the Alliance kept housing there," Jungwon spoke slowly, "everyone of us who lived there was part of it, so from what I know it was a few years after you, Jay hyung and Sunghoon hyung met them."

"Oh..." I quietly muttered, "but why didn't they continue to use the base....?" 

"That's exactly what is my fault," Jungwon let out a small laugh before rubbing his face in his hands, "I never told you what happened to my parents... did I?"

"No," I quietly spoke as I slowly glanced at him and he just nodded while looking straight forward.

"When the Alliance came to the base we thought everything was gonna be fine, they were gonna work with us instead of... doing what they did," he slowly explained and I quietly nodded as his eyes squinted together, "it was barbaric. The way they treated us. We were almost like slaves. Doing whatever they pleased, they killed us when they decided we weren't good enough to work anymore. Looking back I'm glad my sister was already dead by then, whta they did to the girls wasn't alright."

Jungwon took a deep breath as I watched him clench and unclench his fists time and time again, quickly dabbing the back of his right hand under his eyes.

"Sorry," he breathed out and I quietly hummed at him.

"It's alright," I quietly muttered before extending my hand and holding my palm flat out.

"No, I'm good," he shook his head and carefully folded my hand together before softly placing it back in my lap, "keep yourself warm. I don't want you to get sick."

"Thank you," I muttered and looked down at my hands in my lap.

"Right the story," he sighed heavily, "the background for doing what I did can be irrelevant. But one day I was sick and tired of their way of treating us so... I developed a plan," he continued and I could hear him gulp beside me as I glanced towards his way, "singlehandedly I made a plan to chase out the Alliance of my home... to get rid of them. There was certain alarms we were to use in differnet cases throught the base. You haven't seen the place where the alarms were, because we took them down. So... what I did was start one of the alarms, and everyone had a specific space to to evacuate to, it was mainly parted up by genders... so," Jungwon sucked in a deep breath, "as everyone was evacuating to where they were supposed to I snuck out and I locked the doors and set fire to the..." he let out a deep breath as a small laugh escaped him, "You're gonna think that I'm insane."

"Please continue," I muttered and he just nodded as he ran a hand through his hair.

"I locked and set fire to the house where the women was supposed to evacuate," Jungwon admitted and I quietly nodded as I folded my hands tightly, looking down at them in my lap, "then I.... rolled away the gate to the men's evacuation place and let a hoard of zombies in. I forgot to lock the door to that hut so they.... they fled out into the base and saw me. I guess they figured everything out pretty quickly. They didn't really pay me attention though, giving me a chance to flee. It was first when they realized there were screams and smoke rising from the women's evacuation place that hell sort of broke loose. Some of them have loved ones, some of them had their toys, other had their kids... yeah... I wasn't popular after that."

"You..." I slowly trailed off in utter disbelief, I had thought it to be bad but not a whole massmurder.

"Killed a whole house of women through fire and smoke intoxication as well as causing loads of men to get turned... yeah," he whispered with a small nod, "that's why they don't want to kill me yet, but make me suffer."

"You killed your own mom," I muttered and glanced at him with wide eyes as he just nodded his head.

"And some time ago my dad murdered Jay hyung," he muttered and my breath immediately hitched in my throat in the realization that it had been Jungwon's dad who had killed my brother, knocked Jake out, and stamped on Jungwon's head, all in the same night.

I sat all quiet as I stared down at the top of the camper under me, slowly trying to process how all of this was strunged together. He must've been all alone in the base after that happening.

"What happened then?" I whispered and Jungwon glanced at me.

"They searched the whole base for me, but I hid in a tree outside the base, when tehy left I went in and locked all the gates, beginning to shoot all the zombies and watching the house burn down to the ground... A few months passed before mr. Bang and a few others came along and slowly the whole place was built up again with a better society," Jungwon quietly explained as he glanced around us, "you alright?" he questioned as he looked back at me and nudged me with my elbow.

"I don't feel too good."