Iris . Blindinnit AU [DSMP]

A Break :)

hello there! you want angst today? well i'm still writing the next chapter so take these incorrect quotes instead! featuring alive tubbo!

- sol

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

Tommy: Hewwo.
Tubbo: Hihiiiiii!
Philza: Greetings, Humans.
Ranboo: Three kinds of people.
Techno: I want pudding.
Tommy: Four kinds of people.
Dream: WHAT'S UP FUCKERS?
Ranboo: Five kinds of people.

'Can I copy the homework?'
Tommy: I can help you with it!
Tubbo: Yeah, sure.
Philza: Bold of you to assume I did the homework.
Techno: lol nope.
Ranboo: Wait, we had homework?!?!?!
Dream: *Read 5:55pm*

Tommy: Favorite horror movie?
Tubbo: It
Philza: Saw
Techno: Annabelle
Ranboo: High School Musical. after watching it I spent all my middle school years terrified that the entire school would start singing something and I'd be the only one who didn't know the lyrics

Tommy: Why isn't the statue smirking at me?
Tubbo: It isn't smirking at anyone, they're all just imagining it.
Tommy: Three of us saw it, Tubbo. How do you explain that?
Tubbo: *points at Philza* Sleep deprivation. *points at Techno* Paranoia. *points at Ranboo* Delusional personality disorder.

Tommy: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses.
Tubbo: This knife is actually a magic wand.
Philza: Meet me in the Denny's parking lot for a wizard duel.
Techno: *cocks gun* Magic missile.
Ranboo: What the fuck is wrong with you people.

Tommy: So that's my plan.
Tubbo: Are you alright with constructive criticism? I don't want to sound mean.
Tommy: No, go ahead, I want to hear it.
Tubbo: It fucking sucks.
Tommy: That's not constructive criticism.

Tommy: I slept for almost 12 hours but I might still be tired so lets go for 12 more just incase.
Tubbo: Tommy, that's a coma.
Tommy: Sounds festive.

Tommy: Tubbo, I'm sad.
Tubbo: *Holds out arms for a hug* It's going to be okay.
Philza: Techno, I'm sad.
Techno, nodding: mood.

Tommy: bitches b like "im baby" but have childhood trauma and neglect like wtf do u know about being baby u were forced to grow up from an early age anyways I'm bitches

Ranboo, in a high voice, holding barbie: hey ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!
Philza, in a deep voice, holding ken: nonsense, barbie. you're staying home and having my kids
Techno: what the fuck are you guys doing?
Ranboo: playing systemic oppression

Tommy: We need a distraction.
Tubbo: Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises?
Tubbo, whispering: My time has come

*Tommy and Tubbo sitting in jail together*
Tubbo: So who should we call?
Tommy: I'd call Philza, but I feel safer in jail

Tommy: I really like this whole 'good guy, bad guy' thing you guys have going on.
Tubbo: It's not an act, it's just that I'm mean and Ranboo isn't

Wilbur: You often use humor to deflect trauma
Ghostbur: Thank you
Wilbur: I didn't say that was a good thing
Ghostbur: What I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny

Wilbur: Ghostbur and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's-
Ghostbur: Sentences.
Wilbur: Don't interrupt me.

Tommy: You know, not every problem can be solved with a sword.
Revivebur : That's why I carry two swords.

Tommy: I learned some very valuable lessons from this.
Revivebur : I'm guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should've taken away.
Tommy: Death isn't real, and I'm basically God.

Tommy: You fuckers don't know about my knife stick. It's a knife taped to a stick and it's the ultimate weapon.
Revivebur , not looking up from their book: Spear.
Tommy: BLOCKED.

Tommy: Remember when you didn't try to solve all your problems with attempted murder?
Revivebur : Stop romanticizing the past.

i'm not saying that revivebur would do that in this story or anything ehe

Tommy: Whaddya call a fish with no eye?
Revivebur , not looking up: Myxine Circifrons
Tommy:
Tommy: fsh

Tommy: Please, I'm begging you go to a doctor.
Deadbo: I'm sorry is this OUR stab wound? Stay out of it.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

anyways, just a reminder that tommy canonically where's light up sketchers in this story... have a good day!

- sol

Update: any others will be put as a comment under here

also

take this art