The Broken Souls (Beyond the love)

34. First day at his office

Dhruv's point of view

Should I do this?

Should I go inside?

But I have done this before and I don't get anything from that.

Why I always feel nervous all the time like I am going in a battlefield without my safety gears?

These all are the questions running inside my head when I stood in front of the white two story building. I can see people coming in and coming out from the building with their files. Some looked fine while some are behaving strangely. But I am not in the place to judge anyone because I am one of them. People who looked calm and composed, maybe more fucked up than me.

I feel the vibration inside my pants pocket and I picked it up when I read the caller ID.

"Do you arrive the place?" Raghav asked me.

I nodded my head but soon answer it in voice as I know he is not in front of me.

"Yes.." I said while looking at the building again.

"What are you feeling?" He asked.

"Nothing." I lied but he knows me batter.

"Dhruv I know this is difficult for you but you have to do this sooner or later. I want to be with you but I have this meeting with commissioner which I can't ignore." His voice filled with genuineness.

"I am fine alone." I said in a flat tone. I don't want him with me.

I don't want him to know how weak and fucked up I am even though he witnessed many of my episodes but still I want him to know the complete truth of my life. No one deserves to know the pain which I carried from years. I don't want people saw me with sympathy or maybe in disgust.

I heard him singh deeply.

"Dhruv, dude this is best psychiatrist I found in the city and I hope he soon change this sentence or at least help you in your suicidal mind. Be nice with him and try to tell him every thing what you feel." He said calmly.

"I'll try." I again said in a flat tone and hang up when Raghav told me the meeting has started and he has to go.

I again looked up and read the clinic name fifth time.

Am I doing the right thing?

I asked again but I know I have to it for the peace of my mind.

I walked inside the building to meet my new psychiatrist.

****

It's been thirty minutes I am waiting outside the cabin of my doctor waiting for my name being called by the assistant and soon she announced my name.

I got from the chair and went inside the doctor's cabin. An man in his mid fifties sitting behind his desk with spectacles, reading some file. He lifted his head from the file and gave me the welcoming smile. He gestured me to sit and close the file which he was reading before. I took a chair in front of him, making myself comfortable.

"So..What is your name young man?" Dr. Gupta, my psychiatrist asked me.

"Dhruv...Dhruv Malhotra." I introduced myself.

"Beautiful name. Do you know the meaning of your name?"

I control hard to roll my eyes in front of him.

Of course I know. Everybody does. Kids learnt it in their 6th standard.

But I nodded my head. I don't want to make the doctor feel offend with my savage answers.