Another school day. Clara groaned, putting her book in her bag and getting dressed. She wore a black jacket on top of a shirt and blue jeans with a black sling bag and black heeled boots. She put on a pair of sunglasses and combed her hair got out of her room.
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"Hey Bella. Eddie's picking you up again?" Clara asked. Bella nodded eating the breakfast Clara made her.
"Yeah." Bella paused for a second before saying, "He misses you a lot. Jasper. Edward told me."
Clara stiffened for a second before smiling. "That's good." She vaguely answered and left the house to her car. As she got a the car started, someone suddenly opened the door and entered in making her flinch and turn to the person.
"Jasper?" She asked seeing him. She removed her sunglasses, "You scared me! What are you doing here? Why are you here?" She asked.
"You and I. We need to talk." He muttered. Clara rolled her eyes and started the car driving as fast as she could.
"With this speed I'm driving at, it's going to take only about 5 to 10 minutes to get to school. You and I better finish our talk before that or else I'm kicking you out." Clara threatened and Jasper nodded.
"Fine, since I have only 5-10 minutes maximum, I'm going to get straight to the point. Clara, I want to explain." Jasper said, his voice soft and nervous.
Clara's hand tightly gripped the steering wheel as she reminded herself continuously inside her head to remain strong and still and not break down and soften her heart. She bit her lip slightly and nodded her head gesturing him to continue and giving him a chance to explain himself.
"Clara, what I did is inexcusable. And cowardly. I hate myself for not being there for you and for not protecting you. When I almost attacked Bella that day, an unsettling feeling came upon me. I was afraid Clara. That one day, that person could be you. That a day would come where that may happen and I would attack you and hurt you. I was so afraid that I'd kill you. And when Edward brought over the topic that you weren't safe as long as we were there, I let it get to me. That, along with my fears clouded my judgement. And I left, I know that what I'm saying may sound like an excuse, but it was what I felt at the time. And now I know, how much of a fool and coward I was." Jasper detailedly explained
A few of Clara's walls were starting to fall but she tried her best to put them up. She was just a 17 year old girl who knew nothing on this matter, what would make her sure that Jasper wouldn't leave her again?
"Jasper, did you even love me? Did you trust me as much as I trusted you? Do you even still love me? Or am I just some ex who is giving you a heartache and guilt. Am I some guilt making machine to you now?" Clara asked. Her insecurities started coming forward and Jasper could sense that. It pained him that she thought that. Never in a million years would Jasper ever stop loving Clara. Never in an eternity.
"Clara-" Jasper couldn't finish as Clara parked her car and faced him. Jasper could see all the conflict of emotions in her eyes and he could feel it too. How she was missing him. How she was controlling herself from going to him. How she was fearing his love and how much she was trying to stay away from him.
"Jasper please, I can't hear anything else. I've been trying so hard to move on and forget you and suddenly in the process of that, you come back. You come back and look at me with these honey eyes of wanting and it's honestly making this so hard. I just can't do this." Clara said, pausing for a while before she looked at him straight on the eyes, "You know what I've been feeling these days? I think of you but I can't talk to you. I miss you a lot but I can't admit it. I need you so bad but I can't show it. I love you so much but I can't say it. This is because of my stupid fears and anxiety."
Jasper's eyes widened. He put his hand forward to caress her cheek but Clara pulled her face back. She gulped.
"Jasper, give me time to think. I promise that when I've calmed myself down, I'll call you. You can finish what you were about to say. And that time, I'll give you as much time as you need and I won't cut you off." Clara said with a soft smile, "But for now, I can't. I've just admitted how conflicted I am just now and I need some more time before I can give or take another blow. Whether good or bad."
"I'll wait." Jasper sadly said. "Thanks." She mumbled back.
With that Clara left the car leaving Jasper alone as he groaned and rubbed his temples He didn't even understand why Clara still conversed with him. He had made her so insecure and hurt and if he was her, he would want nothing to do with himself. Why was Jasper so fortunate to get a girl like Clara? Why was she still so understanding and kind to him? How could he be so evil so hurt a girl so good? What was wrong with Jasper?
From the other side of the parking lot, Rosalie frowned and Alice pouted. Esme had dropped her children to school this time and while Edward and Emmett left to class, the three stayed back to check on Jasper.
"Why?! Isn't this the part where they kiss and get back together?! Why do they both still look so miserable?! What's happening?!!" Alice squeaked in disbelief.
"You read way too much romance novels." Rosalie sighed, "Not everything will go so simple Alice."
Esme nodded in agreement, "She needs time. Everyone does."
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