Differences (l.h.)

14

L u k e

It was Monday morning and I was so nervous for school. I would see Sophie there and she's probably really angry at me for kissing her or is telling everyone about it and now I will get bullied even worse.

I walked into my History room with my head down. I took a seat in the back corner of the room so I wouldn't have to sit by that many other people.

As the bell rang, I was about to breath a sigh of relief that no one had sat next to me. Before I could, someone slid into the chair to my right. I quickly glanced over and almost had a panic attack. It was Sophie. Shit.

I kept myself busy with taking notes on whatever Mr. Walker was teaching. Throughout the period, I tried to ignore Sophie on my right. When the bell rang, I rushed to gather my stuff. I was about to bolt out the door when Sophie called my name.

"Luke? Can we talk about, you know, what happened this weekend?" She looked up at me with her green eyes.

"Yeah, okay. Let's go to the library during lunch," I said, swallowing the lump in my throat.

She nodded and said, "Okay. Bye, Luke."

• • • • •

It was finally fifth period. I made my way to the music room and grabbed the guitar. Calum and Michael walked in laughing. "Hey man," Michael said.

"Hey guys. How was the dance?" I asked. They told me what happened with their dates at the dance. I listened as they talked, nodding at places so they knew I was paying attention.

I was thinking about my weekend as we began to play. My mind wandered to picking up Sophie and I suddenly remembered that I was supposed to be in the library right now. I checked the time and realized there was only fifteen minutes of lunch left. "Shit, I have to go. I'll see you guys tomorrow." I rushed out the door, not bothering to put the guitar away.

I grabbed my books and left Michael and Calum sitting there next to each other with confused looks on their faces. I jogged down the hallways until I got to the library.

I opened the door and ran into someone who was coming out the other way. "Sorry," I mumbled as I looked down at who it was. To my surprise, it was Sophie. Her head was down and I don't think she realized it was me. "Sophie!" I said and grabbed her wrist.

Her head snapped up at the sound of her name. Her eyes were a little red and they were glossy. "Luke?" She sniffed.

"Hey, don't cry. Why are you crying?" I asked as I wiped under her eyes. I realized what I was doing and instantly retracted my hand. "S-sorry," I whispered.

"Because it didn't mean anything to you. I thought we... Never mind." She took her hand out of my grip and started walking down the hall to the cafeteria. I stood there with my hands by my sides.

I sat down on the floor with my books next to me. I leaned my back against the lockers with my head in my hands. I pulled on my hair. Why did I have to be so stupid? Couldn't I have realized that she felt this way about me? I'm so fucked up. I can't even see it when someone wants to be my friend, much less when they like me. Why am I such a screw up?

I rubbed my face with my hands and sighed. I must've been sitting there for a while because I was pulled out of my thoughts by the bell ringing. I stood up, disoriented, grabbed my books, and walked to my next class.

By the end of the day, I was still thinking about what Sophie said. Because it didn't mean anything to you. I thought we... Never mind. What didn't mean anything to me?

I realized in frustration how stupid I was. The kiss. She thinks it didn't mean anything. Of course it meant something to me, if not everything. I just don't know how to react in situations like these because I've never been in one.

I fucked up bad.

• • • • •

jesus christ luek get ur act together man