Anything For You (Satzu/Mitzu)

Twelve

Sana's POV

We are now backstage getting ready for our turn. I can't wait to finish this event so I can go home to my grandparents. I miss them so much. It's been a long time since I haven't seen them, I haven't been home because of work and because of someone.

I grew up with my grandparents because both of my parents died when I was still a kid. They're both doctors who always volunteer to help those who are in need.

One night they are traveling going to a secluded part of our province, and the rain is pouring hard. But they still push through it and their car got hit by a truck. I'm still sad thinking about that.

"Sana, get ready in three, two, one!" I felt a slight push behind my back and walked to the runway. I reached the end and struck a pose. Coming back I scan my eyes on the audience that I wish I didn't. And there I see. It is her. My first love looking straight back at me in the face I can't read.

My heart skipped a beat. I can't breathe, I stop for a second compose myself again, and walk like normally I would do. As soon as I'm backstage I sit down and calm myself as much as possible. My heart is pounding hard like it's gonna go out of my chest.

"Calm down, Sana. Calm down. We still have another walk and we are done." Taking to myself. I close my eyes. I Inhale and exhale until my breathing comes back to normal. God! This is so suffocating. I wanna go out already.

"Sana-ya let's change." I heard Momo say and grab my hand. "Did you see-" I didn't let her finish talking I knew what she meant.

"Don't you dare mention her name," I said to her glaring and letting go of her hand. She made her hands up in the air like surrendering.

"Chill! But daebak! Your ex is so pretty as always but she looks more beautiful now." She said smirking and shaking her head.

"I miss her though. It's been a long time. We are friends after all." She adds.

"Sana-ssi, are you ready?" One of the staff calls me and I just nod and follow her. Last one Sana and we are out. I said to myself.

I went out off the runway and noticed that she was not there anymore. It's good for me, right? But why does it feel like it doesn't? I sighed and continued walking. God! I'm so distracted. After all those years, she still has this effect on me. I wanna see her but I don't wanna see her too. It is so complicated. I sighed again without knowing I was near the end. I then again strike a pose and walk back backstage.

I'm fixing my bags now so that I can leave. There's an after-party but I'm not in the mood to socialize. Not after I saw her around. Where is she though? Is she still here? I look around me, trying my luck but she is not. God! This is so frustrating. I sighed.

"Sana-ya, your ex sends regards to you and your family," Momo said and I stopped what I was doing and looked at her in shock.

"Wha-what? Why?" I said stuttering.

"What do you mean why? She had been part of your family there's nothing wrong with sending her regards." Momo said sounding annoyed.

"Where is she?" I ask.

"I don't know. We just bumped into each other in the corridor and we chatted a little. She's kinda in a hurry." Momo nonchalantly said. I just nod.

"Are you sure you don't wanna stay for a while for a drink or two?" Momo said as she sent me to the car that my grandparents sent me.

"No. I'm still gonna travel for hours and I want to sleep." I said as I helped the driver with my bags.

"Okay. Call me whenever. I'll just do the shopping tomorrow for the girls before I fly back to Korea. What should I buy for Tzuyu?" Momo asks.

When Momo mentioned Tzuyu it was like I was splashed with cold water. I was frozen for a while. Right! Tzuyu... I'm with Tzuyu now. But that encounter on the runway makes me forget about her. This is bad.

"Earth to Sana." Momo tried to get my attention.

"Ye-yes?" I ask.

"Nothing. I will just get her anything that she might like. Anyway, you should go it's getting late." She said and I nodded. We hug and bid our goodbyes.

I enter the car and sit. What a day. I close my eyes trying to get sleep but my mind won't let me. Because of that pretty woman, her face flashed in my mind.

I'm over her, right?
I'm not in love with her anymore, right?
Fuck! This is so uncomfortable as my heart starts to race again. Relax Sana. Calm down. I said to myself. As I inhale and exhale again

But my mind is betraying me for rewinding all the good and bad memories we shared. I'm sad and happy at the same time. Sad because it's only a memory that's left and happy because I got the chance to have it with her.

She's a wonderful woman and I'm just so stupid to let her slip away. Though I decided to leave her still it broke me to pieces. It took years for me to be able to forget about her completely. We both suffered for what happened, she doesn't deserve it, to be honest. But the young and wreckless me broke her loving heart. And I'm guilty.

There was a time when I felt so sad because of missed her badly, I somehow regretted that I left her and pursued my career but at the end of the day, after the shows, I've done. I'm convincing myself that this is all worth it. That I shouldn't be sad that I chose this career over her. That I love this more than her. But that's all lie. I was still crying myself to sleep at night until I met Tzuyu.

Right! I'm with Tzuyu. I remind myself for the second time. I sighed. Focus Sana.

"We are home Ms. Sana." What was on my mind vanished as I heard the driver speak. I got out of the car and my grandparents welcomed me.

"It feels so good to be back home," I said.