Safety

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I sit down at the table and dad stops reading newspaper, eyeing me with doubting expression, mom as always only eats a little ration of fruit salad, sometimes I wonder how she can even survive but maybe it's self-satisfaction what feeds her, ability to fit in every dress and outfit of famous brands, showing her perfect figure to other politician's or businessmen's wives, she does everything only to show off and make someone to envy her. there is a saying boys usually want to marry woman who resembles their mom, even i wasn't into men, someone absolutely vapid like her, only interested in the money...I remember the money Zhan got from my dad, still placed on the shelf at my house, he said it was dirty. such a non materialistic person

"tidy yourself well, today is first poll of election and we need to go together"

"gosh I feel too excited, in this rate of acting think I'm going to get Oscar soon" I say with loud laugh and his face angers "did you fool enough people or still needed to buy votes?"

"stop getting on my nerves" he yells and hits fist on the table "are you fucking mocking me? did you get this kind of humor from your new bitch?" I hold seat tightly to stop myself from telling more, hearing Zhan mentioned like this makes me crazy, especially because it was me who treated him this way first.

"I'm being brat cause know you won't beat me up today, why? because I need to look totally healthy and happy in front of the voters and reporters, anyway I'm leaving to doll up myself"

"Wait" he takes little box from the pocket and puts on the table "I asked secretary to buy best ring, for your fiancee" what the hell "we're going to visit them today too, so..."

"I don't want to marry her" I almost yell and realizing what this words is going to cause, add with calmer tone "yet"  if I can free myself, our engagement will cancel itself

"Really? May I ask why?"

"I didn't have enough fun yet, I didn't fuck enough. I want to live freely like this for longer time" he grins and looks at my mom

"So what is going to change after marriage? You still can do anything you want, family is like...accessory, we wear to look good in front of the others. I don't really care about that silly girl, but her dad's authority is something I really need. Just please him, other than that it's on you" watching at them I remember my dream, which didn't and is never possible to come true, just sitting with my parents and listening their warm conversation, about too simple daily things, just feeling i'm part of the family but they're totally strangers for me...they always were. I always envied Huai Sang about this matter and kind of hated visiting him, his behavior wasn't cause by same reason as mine, he was always too spoiled by his parents, always too adored.

"Ok" I get up and turn to mom before leaving, who is busy by checking her makeup "this lipstick looks totally terrible on you, be careful to not force dad find new, better accessory

*****

I greet politely Yang Zi's parents and already feel strong awkwardness about meeting her, they keep talking about fashion and business until maid informs us that dinner is ready and we move to dining room. Yang Zi walks down on the stairs with empty expression and I quickly walk towards her holding the ring, she exclaims when I'm about to put it on her finger but still I grab her hand and do it with forced but wide smile, I can feel how much my touch disgusts her but I have no other choice 

"just bear a little, this is necessary" I whisper at her and both sit down, host looks really satisfied and I take my chance "thank you so much for having faith in me...father, Yang Zi is the most beautiful woman I have ever met, feel so proud to be her fiance"

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