Until The Sun Dies

thirty four

When Brayson wakes up, he's holding Zoe and her slim arms are wrapped around his waist.

He relishes in the moment; it is so simple and calm, even if it only 3 a.m.

He thinks back to the days when he didn't have Zoe in his life, but one day in particular.

He sits on his bed, covered by his pale blue sheets as he feels the tears fall down his cheeks, one at a time.

Someone at school told him he would never be loved- they loved watching his reactions when they bullied him, he went nuts. Screaming, punching lockers; the kids at school found it entertaining.

He had a mirror on the other side of his room; it had fallen down when he punched it the last time he and his mother got into a fight. He looked at himself through the shattered glass, watching himself crumble emotionally until he was a sobbing mess on the floor of his room.

All he wanted to do was find love; that was his goal in life. But when his own mother cannot even love him- who will?

That day, as he sobbed on his floor, was the day he decided he would be okay with taking his last breath as a living person; nobody would miss him anyway.

He takes a piece of the shattered mirror, clutching it forcefully in his hand. He watches the fresh blood stain the glass as a result of his grip on the piece. He feels the adrenaline rush through his body and the excitement overwhelm his insides.

After today, he thought, after today he would be pain-free. After today, he wouldn't have to be alive.

He grips the triangular piece of glass tightly as he puts it to the undamaged skin covering lower arms. He feels the fright kick in and he closes his eyes, letting the last of his tears leak through his tired eyelids. No pain, he reminds himself, no pain.

He flicks his eyes open as he slices his skin, watching the blood ooze out from the slits. Nobody loves me, he thought, nobody ever will, he cries as his violent actions continue in an effort to escape the pain of being alive.

When Brayson used to think about that day, he used to feel angry at life for not letting him die, but now he looks at the sleeping girl, cuddled up in his arms, and he smiles.

Zoe was the impossible; what he used to the think was impossible, anyway. He used to think that nobody would love him, but Zoe proved all of his thoughts wrong.

He was worth something; he was worth a whole lot. He could be loved and find love; he found it in the beautiful girl he's holding. He could live; he could conquer anything.

He presses a kiss to Zoe's forehead, making her eyes flutter open. "Good morning, Bray." She whispers, stretching her muscles.

"Good morning? It's like 3 a.m, I just couldn't sleep." Brayson responds and Zoe's eyes widen in excitement.

All of a sudden, she sits up and jumps off of the bed.

"Baby girl, what are you doing? Come back to bed, let's cuddle."

"No, no, no. There's always something I've wanted to do, now would be the perfect time!" She squeals, and Brayson rolls his eyes playfully.

"Do we have too?" He whines and Zoe nods frantically.

"Alright, okay. What is it you've always wanted to do?" Brayson asks and Zoe jumps up and down in excitement.

"Let's go eat food in the cafeteria in a tent!" Zoe whisper-yells and Brayson almost does a double-take. "Wait, what?"