Our Love Will Be Remembered

Our Love Will Be Remembered... (Ch 19)

OUR LOVE WILL BE REMEMBERED...

Chapter 19

After our first conversation, things naturally evolved.

Everyday we exchanged words, just few words, never anything of great importance to anyone that could have been looking at us but for me it was. Anything, any word, any sigh, any glance, anything she gave me was worth more than anything I had ever received because everything she was giving me she was in fact taking from God. By giving me her time, her attention she wasn’t giving that to God. It was the first time I truly understood the trill Dom Juan must have felt…

What she was giving to me she was taking away from her faith.

The fact that she had that faith, that pureness in her was one of the things I loved about her.

The outside world did not appeal her, not material gain nor physical gain, only spiritual gain mattered because she felt it was the most important asset in a human’s life.

But I changed that.

So as I said things naturally evolved. One day, her hand slowly brushed against mine who was resting between us on the pew, the next she was holding it. It was like she was trying to earn the trust of a savage animal when the truth is she was more of the savage animal and I the one trying to tame her, or maybe it wasn’t exactly the right analogy. Still slowly, I was gaining her trust and my feelings grew for her.

And as my feelings grew for her and as she slowly overcame her shyness, her anguished also grew. I could see it, the more she care about me, the more she looked desperate. And the more I loved her.

I loved everything about Maria, the way she couldn’t hold my gaze because of her shyness, her endearing accent when she spoke to me in English, how soft her fingers were on my hands, how soft her lips looked, her serene composure, her quiet wisdom, her long ebony hair, the way her sweet breath washed over my face when she would whispered to me…

I loved everything about her to a point it was becoming painful to be parted from her, painful when he fingers weren’t touching mine anymore. I had never felt such an ache before, the intensity surprised me.

The pain was becoming so intense that I couldn’t bare it anymore. I needed to be with her, I needed to have her out of here and leave away far away, somewhere I could hold her hands and touch her face and kiss her lips.

And somehow she obviously felt that way too because one day, while we sat beside each other, she whispered to me, asking me to meet her few miles from the church, by an old bridge, later that night.

I don’t know how I had managed to go throw that day waiting for the night. I was definitely in a daze.

When the night finally set, I hurried to the meeting spot and got there first.

Deep down, I knew this moment would never come again, that when she would arrived, the time we would spend together would be the most perfect we could ever share. But deep down, I couldn’t even bring myself to think about this because my need for her was too great.

When I finally saw her arrived she wore something that oddly looked like a cape and with the whole setting, the night sky over us, the forest, the lantern in her hand, I felt like I was in another century, I felt like our love had been worth being written in a book and remembered…

The rush of excitement, that sense of forbidden was as thrilling as with Fay.

We both stared at each other for endless minutes.

Maria was the one that finally broke the silence, whispering my name, driving me crazy.

“If I have kept myself from being with you is because I wanted eternity. I have done right by God all my life. But now what’s the point of eternity if I am not with you” she added in a whisper.

She was struggling for her words and I was struggling for my breath.

I had never experience anything like this, anything like her, this was entirely new.

And with her cheeks covered with her tears, she had raised her pleading eyes to me and said, “I give you my heart and my soul, you have both, do as you wish. I can’t keep going like this, it is as if my entire being is burning, as if I am already in Hell.”

I couldn’t answer her because after she said those words I kissed her, I kissed her like I had dreamed of ever since I had met her, kissed her a way I never had kissed anyone before.

But her words had reminded me who I was and what I did. And in this case, somehow I knew it was the way things had to end.

I killed her there, in the forest, cut her heart, rolled it in her cape and buried her body, putting a cross over the spot.

It was the least I could do…