BEAUTIFUL MONSTER

70: Fortune Cookies

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I retched immediately, gathering my spit and blowing it out. It landed on the dead priest's cheek which was pretty impressive. "That was awful and I have no idea why I did that. Never mind suckers, how do those creepy, weird freaks who pretend to be vampires even do it? Asides from one other thing, blood makes me gag."

Tiddles looked at me questioningly. I apologised, it was completely inappropriate of me to use a sexual innuendo in front of the poor kit.

Tiddles skirted around the dead priest, meowing occasionally before settling down to lap at the vast pool of blood.

I made a face before shrugging. He didn't judge me for tasting blood, so why should I?
I stood up, brushing myself down and succeeding in only getting myself even more filthier. "I guess I better be going. I do have a bunch of Warriors and their shitty Creators after me. This whole seeking revenge thing really is childish, don't you agree?"

Tiddles agreed.

"I guess I'll see you in a couple of weeks, Tiddles, or whenever you decide to pop up. Let me know: send me a tweet, or a g-mail, heck, just poke me on Facebook. We can have a poke war." I raised my hand in goodbye but Tiddles meowed indignantly and followed after me.

I didn't object. It'd be great to have company. Also, if I see a bunch of warriors I can always throw Tiddles at them and make my getaway.

It was slowly beginning to rain and we left the church doors open for any homeless people to come in and rest for the night - if they didn't mind spooning a dead body, that is. I was chuffed at my kindness.

"How do you feel about a road trip all around England? Of course, I'll run out of money long before than but we don't need to worry about that yet. This will be great, we can pretend we're on our gap year," I started up the car, glancing at Tiddles who was sitting patiently in the passenger seat. "You should probably put on your seat belt."

Tiddles glanced at me.

"You're right. Carpe diem, am I right? Which is really funny considering I don't have a driver's license yet and we could crash and die painfully in a ball of fire - but let us seize the day!" I glanced up at the stoned walls of the church, catching the stained glass window. "You know, that is ridiculously weird. Two crosses criss crossing in a triangle? That's too many crosses to even think about. Hold on a second, Tiddles, I need to go check on something."

I hurried through the lobby where unlike before, there were no bats to attack me and then up the pews to the pale gold tabernacle. I caught my reflection in the small mirror and couldn't help but grin; I looked good. I was praying for it to be unlocked and the priest must've been a child molester or something because the great Gods answered my prayers. I pulled it open, shaking my head in disbelief. "Of course, how fucking cliché." I picked up the small piece of paper, unfolding it and reading. "'Wealth is along the way'. Son of a fucking bitch... Someone has been putting fortune cookies in this, haven't they? Greedy piglets, could've at least left the cookie."

Was I angry? Sure, Ajax and I had been duped. What sort of person plans an elaborate prank like this?

I thought of Tiddles...

Just before I left the church, I grabbed the blade I had thrown earlier, concealing it in my trousers.

I'm sure it'll come in handy.

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I was driving along a empty road, silently seething and occasionally throwing the death glance at Tiddles. God fucking damn it, I hated being tricked. I wanted to strangle Tiddles, tie him down on the road and run over him, squeeze his head until he exploded. I wanted him to feel how I feel about the deceit. I slammed the wheel, growling out when Tiddles looked at me. "I just thought that we were friends. At least --"