Tell Me You Love Me

Chapter 6

"Pain, you just have to ride it out, hope it goes away on it's own, hope the wound  that caused it heals. There are no solutions, no easy answers, you just breath deep and wait for it to subside. Most of the time pain can be managed but sometimes the pain gets you where you least expect it. Hits way below the belt and doesn't let up. Pain, you just have to fight through, because the truth is you can't outrun it and life always makes more."

-Arizona Robbins,  Grey's Anatomy.

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Arizona's POV

It's been 3 weeks since Callie told me that she asked Erica out. They are practically together every day nearly. I'm trying to not let it get to me but its so hard. Its like a stab in the heart when I see when hugging, kissing, holding hands etc. I don't know what to do with myself. I want to tell her how I feel but I can't, shes with Erica and I don't want to lose our friendship.

"Arizona" Callie shouts. Snapping me out of my thoughts.

"yeah"

"I've been talking to you for the past few minutes"

"oh sorry zoned out"

"I was saying, Erica is coming over lated if that's okay with you" she asks.

"yeah, I'm staying at Aprils tonight anyway" I lied. I can't  handle being around them too.

"oh right okay"  I just smile in response and put my boots one. Today is the first  day back at training since we won the final, and I'm so glad, I missed it. I saw Erica walk up beind Callie and put her arms around her waist, which caused her to jump a little, until she realised who it was. She turned around and kissed her. I quickly finished putting my boots on and started running to warm up, trying not to cry.

"when did that happen" April asked as she caught up with me, gesturing to Callie and Erica.

"A few weeks ago"

"are you ok"

"no" I admit truthfully.

"you really need to tell her"

"April can we talk about this later I don't really wanna break down here, can I stay at yours tonight"

"sure" With that we finished our warm up run in silence.

The rest of the training went quite well. I stay with April most of the time as Callie was preoccupied with Erica, its like I barely exist to her anymore.

April dropped me off at home as Callie drove us and I just wanted to leave. Once I got in I went straight in the shower. It was then that I let out a few tears. Its not the first time Ive cried in the shower recently. The past few weeks have been a lot to take in. Realising I have really strong feelings for Callie. Her realising she likes women, which has made my feelings for her so much stronger. Then her and Erica. It kills me to see them together, but what can I do? Telling her isnt going to change anything. She doesnt see me like that and plus she's with Erica. All it would do would ruin our friendship and make things really awkward.

"Arizona" I could hear Callie shouting

"In the shower" I yell back. Within seconds the bathroom door opens and Callie walks in. It doesnt bother me because we see each other naked all the time.

"whats up" I ask as I wash the shampoo out of my hair.

" just seeing if your okay, you left with April, you didnt wait for me"

"I needed to get home and get a shower before I go to hers" 

"right, as long as your okay"

"yeah I'm fine" 

"right okay well I'm gonna get a shower too, before Erica gets here" I didn't say anything I just turned away from Callie to pick the conditioner up. A few seconds later I heard the door shut behind me. I quickly finished in the shower and got changed into my joggers and hoodie. I let my hair dry naturally, purely because I couldn't be arsed to dry it. I Shoved a few things in my bag and headed downstairs. Just as I was about to open the door to leave, the door bell went.

"hey" Erica smiled.

"hey, she's upstairs, I'm just heading out, help yourself to anything" I moved out the way so she could come in. I then walked out and shut the door without another word.

I know they way I act towards Erica isn't friendly. Don't get me wrong she is a nice person but she has the one thing I want, which makes me not like her. Its stupid I know but I can't help how I feel. I got in my car and drove to Aprils,  before I knew it I was outside her house. I knocked on the door and walked in.

"April" I yelled

"In the kitchen" I dropped my stuff on the floor and went into the kitchen.

"wine" she asked.

"please"

"so" she says handing me the glass of wine.

"this whole situation is fucked up" I sigh, taking a gulp of wine.

"12 years I've known her, 12 years of loving her and not realising. I don't know how to act around her. I hate seeing her with Erica, Its like a stab in the heart every time. Apart of me wishes this never happened."

"you love her" April asked shock evident in her voice.

"I.." This is the first time I've said it or thought it and now everything is so much more real. I could feel my heart pounding at the realisation.

"I do" I whisper. I downed the rest of the wine and poured myself another glass. 

We spent the rest of the night drinking, talking, eating and watching shit tele, it was actually really nice. It was about midnight when we went to sleep, as soon as my head it the pillow, I was out like a light.

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thoughts so far? it will get more interesting soon haha hope you are all enjoying it.