Call Me Romantic (BxB)

Chapter 26

{ꔫ NASH ꔫ

"Tired of your blue?" Nova asks, watching Nash crotch down to look at the hair dyes on the wobbly shelf. He picks up a box, one with a lady with her hair dyed red.

"What else do you think I'm going to do when I'm going through Boy Land?" He replies though it isn't enthusiastic, putting the box back on the shelf.

"Maybe change your clothes. I love you, Nash, but you look homeless." Nova has this smile on her face, telling Nash she is teasing even though she isn't in the mood. It's not his fault he can't look perfect all the time like her with blond and brown braids thrown into a high ponytail and perfect skin. She's also wearing a sweater for the cold weather to top it off.

Though she's right, he has been wearing the same hoodie for three days now and has been doing nothing but rotting in his room. He didn't even have the motivation to put on his binder, so it feels weird that he's wearing nothing. Nova also rots in her room, but she codes all day and is way more productive. Nash lifts his eyes to her and grins back, "Whatever nerd."

Turning his attention back to the hair dyes, he wonders what Sam would think looks best. Maybe pink, or maybe he would want the blue again so he can keep calling Nash blueberry. Cheesy and gross.

It doesn't matter; stop thinking about him. Nash slaps himself in the head for even thinking about Sam. He promised himself he wouldn't do it anymore. Sam was just going through a sexuality crisis; that's it. Then why would he come over and say Nash is his boyfriend at his mom's?

"Woah, thinking face. thinking about him again?" Nova is sitting next to Nash on the tile floor in front of the white shelf that is barely hanging together.

Nash huffs, "Of course not." They both know that's an evident lie. It's all Nash thinks or talks about nowadays. Nova reaches over and grabs a hair dye. "How about pink?"

Nash frowns and takes it from her; the cover is a girl with short hair looking to the side. It makes her hair flow in the wind perfectly, shiny and silky. The cover is never how the hair turns out, but Nash's blue has faded to sky blue, and he needs a fresh color. "Fuck it. Pink it is."

In the middle of walking to the cash register, Nash catches Sam in the corner of his eye with his friend. His head snaps around to make sure he isn't hallucinating. It's Sam. with his straight, homophobic, but gay friends.

Then there is Nicolas, a guy who has picked on him since the 8th, right next to Sam, just chatting and laughing. Nicolas is a tall, big guy, and whoever tries to mess with him ends up being stomped on like a bug. Nash never really said anything back when he insulted him. He was just so scared of getting even more hurt than he was back then. He is still scared of getting hurt; it is just not as severe. Nash hates thinking about middle school and the consistent torment he got from the pictures sent around to make fun of who he is. It all makes him too emotional; he can't get emotional right now. Not in front of Nicholas, be strong, he tells himself, taking a deep breath.

A second later, Nova catches him staring and forces his face forward with her hand gripping his chin. "Out of sight, out of mind."

Bullcrap.

If Nash wasn't thinking about Sam, it doesn't help that they are loud. There are about five people, including Sam, and they seem to be just fooling around and making trouble on an easy Sunday. They get into line behind Nash and Nova.

All of a sudden, Nash is turning red. Maybe at the thought, Sam is right behind him and being love-sick like a fan girl, or just the fact he's still embarrassed.

He hasn't spoken to him since the little outburst Nash had. He wondered all day and night that if he didn't say a thing, things would be fine. It doesn't matter; he can't change what he said, and what he said is all true. Sam said nothing and proved that he just doesn't want this relationship.

"Yo, Quin, look!" Nicolas snickers. Nash doesn't hear Sam say a thing as always, but the rest of the guys whisper to each other. Nash looks over to Nova with a look that screams, Let's get out of here, please, but her face shows the same expression. She isn't the overprotective type like Val or Ember; instead, she's a pussy just like Nash.


"Isn't that the weird trans girl?" Another comment: Nash can't recognize the voice. No no no no no. Not right now, not in this vulnerable state. Not this again. He can hear the snickering of the guys behind him before one of them replies, "She wants to be a boy so bad."

More comments get thrown around about his appearance or just transphobic stuff they aren't afraid to say because they know Nash won't do anything. Nash feels like he's 14 all over again. The lady in front of them finally collects her bag, leaving the self-checkout, and Nash rushes over to it. scanning the dye and trying to quickly put his cash in the machine while trying to ignore the growing laughter behind him. There's a flash, and Nash looks over his shoulder, seeing one of them quickly put their phone down. They just took a picture of him, and he steps away, his eyes watering, before turning away as Nova stands right behind him to help him silently.

In the middle of trying to rush, he hears someone drop with a thud. His reflexes force him to look behind him at the loud noise. Sam stands in front of Nicolas with a threatening look on his face. "You know what I did to Mark? Yeah, shut your mouth and delete that fucking picture, or else that'll be you next. Maybe I'll add a broken rib to that too," Sam hisses at them, shaking in bitterness. He stands his ground in front of them, intimidating them like they're just babies.

Nicolas has his mouth open wide, considering Sam is a close friend to him, even though they are fake towards each other. Sam never did much about the bullying; he just stood and watched. That kid is not the same has he is now; he's doing something, and it makes Nash feel warmer.

Nash grabs his hair dye and quickly speeds out of the gas station, with Nova following. Once they are outside, Nova lets out a squeal. "Oh my god!! Nash, he loves you. There's no way he doesn't!"

Nash takes a shaky breath. "Can we not talk about it?"

"Right right. sorry." Nova replies, but by the way, she's smirking; he knows she won't stop thinking about it for the rest of the way home.


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It's about 2 a.m., and Nash just got out of the shower. Even though he has school tomorrow, he doesn't care. It's almost winter break anyway. He brushes his hair before opening the dye and squeezing it out into the small plastic bowl it came with.

Nash tries not to think about it; he thinks about Sam and how he risked his friendship for him.

Does he care?

No. He doesn't care. He only comes around when he's bored. That is why he came over for dinner.
Why did he come over at midnight?
and why he talked to him after practice.

boredom.

Then again, someone who doesn't care wouldn't talk to him for hours until they fell asleep cuddling or admitted he cares for him.

He parted his faded blue hair into sections before putting on the gloves the package provided. Thank God, because he would've forgotten. again. He puts the dye in his hair and runs his fingers through the sections.

The car, the way Sam's hands touched his hips. Sam was so bold, even though he didn't want Nash there, or so he believed.
Or how about Mark pushing Nash, and he kicked Mark right in the gut?

"Ugh! Stop thinking about him!" he yells at himself before placing the back of his wrist against his forehead in frustration. Nash peeks up at himself in the mirror.

What if Sam only likes him because he was born a girl? He isn't gay because he's a girl. He's a girl. But he wants to be a boy so badly.

He picks up the brush and starts to cover his hair in dye. "Don't do that to yourself; that's not fair. You're a boy. It's just different." He tells himself this in the mirror, but the voice in the back of his head tells him he sure is different. Not in the right ways. He is different, and no one will understand it.

He tears up and stares down at the sink, so he doesn't have to see himself anymore. All those years of trying to love himself are slowly tearing apart in front of him.

Maybe he should revisit therapy or just go to Mrs. Quinn's office again like he did all last year and on the 8th.

When Nash washes and blows, his hair turns more purplish than pink. How can he forget color theory when he's an art major? because he's not thinking about art. He's thinking about a boy. Is this guy making him lose all his brain cells, or does this happen when everyone falls in love?

Either way, the purple is fine. He doesn't care much about color; he just wants change.


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