Call Me Romantic (BxB)

Chapter 20

{ꔫ NASH ꔫ }

Nash is standing on the lacrosse field alone, waiting for the game to start. He's freezing and isn't wearing his binder. He doesn't care very much about that right now. The one thing he cares about is how Sam is easily talking to their teammates and laughing like nothing is going on. Like, nothing happened on Friday night. 
 
Nash's fingers brush against the hickey against his neck. Sam marked his territory and then left. If someone wants to flirt with Nash and they see that, then they'll just assume he's taken. Let's be real: no one is going to flirt with Nash anytime soon, and he knows that, but it still pisses him off at the thought of Sam being so damn possessive without being it. 
 
Sam's eyes shift over to Nash, with a cheeky smile still plastered on his face from joking with teammates. Nash's face grows red, and it's not because of the cold. This man... He hates Sam and the way he's been running away, but when Sam looks over at him like that, it's like his heart skips in a circle, and giggles like a fanboy.
 
Nash rips his eyes away from Sam, forced to stare at the grass, until he hears the coach's voice: "Yo, Nash, aye? The game is going to start in five minutes, so warm up, little lad.” Nash nodded, ignoring the name, before getting on the green track with Julian next to him. Nash thinks Julian is pleasant, but he has no idea if Julian would support him being transgender. That makes him shut him out a bit instead of letting him in for a chat or two. He seems like a well-known type of guy who would talk to quiet kids as a joke, or maybe Nash is being overdramatic and thinks anyone who's well-known is an aashole. Cisgender men are very open with their opinions and aren't very accepting, so it's a real gamble. God, he has gotten so insecure again. 
 
Nash was at least right with Sam. He's just some dumb, handsome jerk who will play with hearts until he's bored and leave you high and dry. Sam just wanted to get Nash's hopes high because he knew Nash had something for him. Or he saw how Nash was desperate for love and wanted to see how desperate he could become to destroy him. Nash can feel the burning in his caves as he runs away from that thought, leaving it behind. No, he's not that smart. No offense, Sam, but all offense too, because fuck you, nash things. Also, he's not that bad of a person; he proved it. So what is going on? Nash's head hurts the more he thinks about it. 
 
He has been getting better at cardio, which is good since he needs to get his anger out somehow, and sometimes art isn't enough for that. Sure, writing your emotions on a piece of paper is meaningful, relatable, and healthy, but anger can fill your limbs, your muscles, and your legs. The urge to run away from it all and leave it all until he returns home again. 
 
Nash hates how Sam has completely taken over his mind and made him so angry so easily. If Sam were to come over right now and kiss Nash in front of everyone, all this built-up rage would just be blown out like a candle. But he's not doing that and probably won't ever. If Sam wants to play hard to get, then Nash will play harder.
 
But in sports, 
 
It's just practice with each other again, so their team is split, and Sam and Nash are in the same position as last week. Aka, Sam is trying to defend his goal, and Nash is trying to score. Everyone on their side, though Nash is on, watches as the teammates struggle to get the ball. When it launches over to the other side, Nash and Sam scurry to earn it before each other. 
 
Before the ball is received, Sam nudges Nash to the side, in the heat of the moment and the anger he feels. Nasg hits the end of his lacrosse stick into Sam's gut, making him double over and stumble back with a groan. He regrets it right after, wanting to check if he's okay, but he has to stay focused. Nash catches the ball on his lacrosse stick, running to the goal. So close, but far enough at the same time.
 
 
The other team's players run at him, one of them being marked, but he just hits him out of the way with his stick before shooting the ball out of his stick into the goal. The goalie moves to the side, failing to dodge the ball. Seriously, all the goalies in this sport stink; if they can't defend their goal from Nash, then what else can they do? The number of times he missed the ball is crazy. "YES!" Nash yells, jumping in excitement, and he can hear his teammates cheer.
 
After the game, Nash's team won. Thank God, he can't take another loss. He is sitting on a wooden bench with a water bottle alone. He is normally alone, and it doesn't bother him anymore, as it did as a kid. What bothers him is how Sam keeps glaring at him from the other side. Does he think he can't notice? Nash shoots Sam a look as he glances at him again, and he flinches like he thought he saw a ghost. 
 
Nash can't help but smirk when Sam urgently looks away from his teammate, again caught off guard by Nash's dirty looks. A second later, Julian turns and waves Nash over with a confident smile, his blond hair lighter where the sun hits his skin. Nash gets up from the bench, jogging over. Sam only looks down to the grass, never looking up, as Julian continues to talk about how the next time we meet up after Christmas break is a game and we need to be serious. "Hit the gym" and “Don't forget cardio.”
 
Nash zones out, knowing he won't be doing that before Sam hikes away with a look on his face that just screams, I don't want to be here from the way his face winces. Once he is out of earshot, Julian raises an eyebrow. 'Hell, is this a problem?'
 
 
"Oh, he's just... mad at me right now," Nash admits, and the other teammate looks at each other in confusion. It's obvious Nash is gay and Sam 'isn't' so why would Sam be upset with Nash? Hell, even having a conversation alone with Sam is confusing. Sam's family is known for not being very accepting of people like Nash with sexual orientations and different gender identities than the norm. Sam also hands around the wrong people, so it wouldn't be surprising if he came out—no pun intended—and said he was a homophobic, overly masculine man who acts like a 12-year-old boy. But he's not like that, and that's what confuses everyone, including Nash.
 
 
A teammate lets out a light laugh: "He's always angry, but ever since you joined, he seemed to keep his mouth shut real tight."
 
 
"Really?" Nash replies. 
 
 
"yup."
 
 
Nash skims over to Sam with his eyes; he is collecting his bag and getting ready to leave. Why is he doing this? Why can't he just communicate? Oh, right, because he's an immature man. 
 
And Nash can't stop loving him.
 
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