Call Me Romantic (BxB)

Chapter 16

{ꔫ NASH ꔫ }

Nash puts his bag of lacrosse stuff on the hardwood floor, stretching his sore limbs after practice. After anything physical, he dies for food. Like now, feeling like his stomach is a big pit of nothing. So he walks down the hallway into the kitchen to soothe his ache for food. Nash strolls over to the green cabinets and sees that a note is stuck to it. He tears it off before reading it. The note isn't anything special, just Sienna saying to empty the dishwasher before she gets home. Ember went to pick her up from work since they couldn't afford a second car though they'd been saving up for years. Nash throws out the note knowing he will forget about it and Sienna will explode on him about it.

For now, he gets out a chicken ramen pack but then steps on a notebook. It has a red front and lies on the floor like it's been dropped, the pages spiraled out. He's never seen it before, so it might be his sister or mom. He picks it up and the pages are neat, and set in order. The handwriting is a bit sloppy like the person was in a rush or distress but when he turns the other pages he sees a lot of numbers and it is labeled 'today's calories.'

He knows he shouldn't be snooping, especially if it's Vals, which is evident because she's the only one who tracks calories in this house. She would kill him if he figured he flipped through some pages. Curiosity kills the cat though, because he keeps turning and sees the calorie numbers go down, down, and down.

On Tuesday the 21st of November, which is today she's only eaten about 3 things. Not even, she's counting simple milk. She's only eaten an apple and gum, a total of 205 calories. Nash closes the red notebook, he's seen enough. Forgetting about his ramen he makes a plate for his sister containing her favorite foods. Val's right, their moms don't pay attention to shit like this and it's fucked that even their son realizes but they don't. Though they have been watching her like a hawk now and making her eat downstairs, even if it's away from them in the living room. He wonders how long this has been going on, all of it, her eating disorder and her bitterness and jealousy He knows if he were in her shoes he'd probably just shut down completely, and he hates how his parents would notice quicker than they would with Val. 

The thought of her being so hard on herself makes Nash furious. She's the most lovely girl Nash has ever seen and ever since they were kids he looked up to the way she didn't give a crap about the way others view her. He's not looking at the same girl from his childhood. When Nash was brought home as a toddler after being adopted Val was only 6 years old. He was scared, but she was so brave, welcoming Nash like he lived there for years and had grown old. They grew apart in middle school because of popularity, it wasn't cool to hang around your bullied brother anymore. Nash is jealous of her too, though she never believes him, she has lots of friends and goes out every weekend. She has a good reputation and never had to go through being bullied with no one being there. Jealousy is complicated, nash can sit here and play victim but all of this is true, they both have what each other longs for, tearing their relationship apart.

That thought nearly rips his heart of his chest, he can't help but open the notebook to the first page staring at the date. January. This has been going on for a year. Nash lets out a sob noise though no tears fall just a noise of desperation and empathy.

The plate he made is small, he's heard that people with this disorder start small and gradually get bigger meals till they can eat a normal portion. He doesn't know for sure if she has an eating disorder because it's not diagnosed but he knows it's not a healthy food relationship, he just wants to help. Make up for that year of her suffering alone. All he has is about 5 crackers, one-third of a chocolate bar, and dragon fruit with honey all laid out neatly on a plate. It's small but it's enough and she probably won't eat all of it.

He then wanders out of the kitchen, down the same hall to the stairs behind the multicolored couch, stepping up to Val's room down the hall. He still has her red notebook in his hand though it's hidden behind his back as he knocks on the door.