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Pen Your Pride
Unexpected Love

Unexpected Love

17.4K Reads 376 Votes 19 Part Story
Aemi By AemiJules Updated Sep 08, 2014

Senior year in a new school and new country. The local teenage god calls first dibs on Gemma, but ends up frustrated, actually caring about her. Is it enough? You always find love in the places you least expect it and you aren't always loved back.

  • cheating
  • chris
  • club
  • date
  • doubts
  • epic
  • first
  • gemma
  • insomnia
  • love
  • nick
  • party
  • small
  • town
  • truly
  • unexpected
LadyKnight LadyKnight Oct 25, 2011
well what can i say. i love it! The french dialogues with their translation were awesome. And i do agree that Monday came all too soon >.<
AemiJules AemiJules Oct 22, 2011
@CristianMihai That was very helpful, thank you. Others have had similar comments, but that really got the message clearly across, so I'll try to work on that specifically. If you have the time/inclination, I'd appreciate it if you could read some of the further developments of the story!
courageoustimidity courageoustimidity Oct 21, 2011
Nick seems a bit forward... XP Anywho. 
                              I like it so far! :D I like Gemma, she seems really real, and relatable. I also like how you put what they were saying in French in italics right afterwards so that I wasn't wondering what the heck was going on.
LeticiaLopez54 LeticiaLopez54 Oct 20, 2011
This is a great concept! I think maybe you are moving it a lil too fast, but that could just be me :) I also think your paragraphs are a bit too big. But your story flows well and you are very talented. Voted :)
CayleighJoyce CayleighJoyce Oct 20, 2011
I'm glad you put what they said next to the sentence in English because I wouldn't want to have to go to google translate. Plus, it's just confusing if you don't. This is a great story (:
northless northless Oct 20, 2011
Great start to the story however you should consider adding more text to balance out with the dialogue and also, you shouldn't capitalize a word to emphasize how it's said, use italics. Other than that, great job. Voted and reading on