a young woman, maybe in her late teens, tosses and turns uncomfortably in her bed. the double feels too empty without the presence of her sister, who up until recently she shared a bed with; now, though, she'll never be able to share a bed with her again.
her dreams are dark and disturbing. she sees a dark forest lined with leafless trees, their branches stretching like talons to slice away at her skin; a murder of crows descends from the sky, screaming and pecking at her and pushing her body to the ground. the cold, hard ground, where hundreds and thousands of scuttling, crawling little insects with spindly scratchy legs crawl over her body, her face, so she has to screw her eyes shut tightly, their bodies are rubbing against each other and they're everywhere and they're consuming everything and she can't think, can't breathe-
and then she wakes up, panting; safely in her too-empty bed, at home.
she hears the floorboard by the bottom of the bed creak, and feels a weight sink down onto the corner of it as though someone's just sat down at the end of her bed; she sits up slowly, to see a girl of around her own age staring back at her. a girl identical to her, a mirrored reflection; the only difference being how the second girl is slightly translucent.
"b- bubbles?"
the first girl, the one in bed, speaks her childhood nickname for her former sister, her face the definition of disbelief. "is that you?"
the ghostly girl smiles softly, and the way that her eyes crinkle up when she does so is almost hypnotising; she seems to have an immortal quality to her, as though she's young but timeless simultaneously.
the first girl flounders in helpless confusion for a few moments before finally finding a way to verbalise it;
"why are you here?"
the second girl smiles softly, and opens her mouth, beginning to sing in a soft and lilting voice.
"no one can hold your hand;
now through the delicate darkness you go
if i trespass even one one step,
it all disappears
clock starts over"
then she stares at the first girl, right in the eyes, with a knowing look that sends a soft, gentle feeling of peace throughout the room as she fades slowly away into the semi-darkness of the room.
the first girl nods slowly, feeling as though she's just been enlightened. she repeats the words sung to her over and over in her head as she lies back down and drifts back off into sleep, which this time is peaceful and undisturbed. this time, she doesn't feel alone, though; it feels as though she has companionship, watching over her and protecting her from the evil of the night.
almost like a guardian angel.
✦ ✦ ✦
aria
i flop down onto the recording booth sofa, exhaling.
"that's a wrap," shay calls, letting out one final triumphant strum on his electric guitar before getting to his feet.
the others cheer; me, shay, bil, finn, ash and tyler all gathered in the recording studio, with leilani and a couple of sound technicians on the other side of the glass.
billie walks over to the door and pulls it, only for it not to budge.
"hey lei, i think this door is locked," she calls to leilani, and my stomach clenches a little at the nickname. i blink in surprise; a little nickname is getting under my skin?
"no, it's just a push door," i say teasingly, dismissing the fleeting feeling as i stand up and open the door for her.
she blinks. "oh. i knew that," she tells me deadpan before strolling right out of the door. i giggle, and the rest of us follow her out of the tiny booth and into the larger lobby outside, where leilani is waiting for us. i look at all of the beautiful instruments lined up against the wall longingly.
"hey, leilani... we're allowed to touch these, right?" i ask curiously, stepping towards what may just be the prettiest guitar i've ever seen.
she nods, not even giving me a verbal answer before turning to the rest of the group. "how do we feel about dinner to celebrate finishing the album?" she asks with a wide smile, met with whoops and cheers. i think for a moment and realise i wouldn't much like to go to dinner if leilani will be there, so instead i find myself drifting towards the guitars, and picking one up.
i run my fingers down its neck longingly, admiring how it fits so perfectly into my hand. it reminds me of a guitar my father had when i was a child and he was still alive; i remember him playing soft acoustic tunes to us by the crackling fire in the evenings. me and my siblings would just sit and listen in awe of how many beautiful sounds he could produce from just one guitar with six strings at once. i've been playing for nearly fifteen years but i don't think i could ever reach the level of talent my father had. i find myself remembering one time that he-
"...ari."
i'm jolted abruptly out of my nostalgic daydreaming by ashley's voice. i spin around and see everyone is stood at the door, staring at me.
"we're all leaving for dinner now," she explains. "are you coming?"
"i'll pass," i reply, looking back down at the guitar in my hands. "i think i wanna do some writing."
"aw, too bad," says finneas, sounding genuinely disappointed.
"maybe another time," i tells him and he brightens again.
billie steps forward very jerkily, as though it's taking her a great deal of courage to do so, and i tilt my head to the side in confusion.
"i think i wanna stay with you, actually," she announces, slipping her arm through mine and i feel a small smile tugging at the corner of my lips. then i catch a small, knowing look being exchanged between bil and shay and tyler and i feel the smile being replaced with a frown. what do they know that i don't?
"oh, are you sure, billie?" leilani asks, looking even more crestfallen than finn. "you know, we could always-"
"no, it's okay," bil replies with a warm smile. "you guys go have fun at dinner, i wanna write with ri."
the group leaves, and me and bil sit ourselves on a couple of beanbags in the corner of the room with my notebook and the guitar that i picked up.
"did you have any chords or words or anything in mind?" billie asks me, shifting to get more comfortable in her seat.
i nod, and begin to pluck softly, correcting myself again and again until i'm perfectly playing the pattern that's been building itself in my head all day. the whole time i'm playing, i can feel billie's cool gaze on me, not leaving me for a second, memorising my every move. it's not disconcerting though, it's kind of... comforting.
"that's so pretty," billie says softly when i finish playing at last. "it's so soothing.... like... almost like it's protective."
her words trigger an almost movie-like flashback within my head;
there is soft, gentle darkness all around me for a moment, and then it speaks to me.
"no one can hold your hand;
now through the delicate darkness you go
if i trespass even one one step,
it all disappears
clock starts over"
and then i'm back in the studio, with billie, like nothing happened.
"yeah, protective. you're right," i murmur, and reach for my notebook, scribbling the sacred lyrics down in it before picking up the guitar and singing them softly in time to the melody. they fit perfectly in time, and i feel an indescribable sense of bliss.
"i really like it," says bil softly. "may i-?" she leans towards the notebook, and i nod; she picks it up and begins to write, slowly and thoughtfully. i love her handwriting, and the way she furrows her eyebrows when she's thinking.
"what about this?" she asks, showing what she's written to me. i lean over to take a look at the lyrics. she's written a lot but most of it's been scribbled out, so only two lines remain;
as long as i am loving you,
you'll never be alone
as long as you keep wanting me around
"that's so pretty," i say, smiling. "i-" i look back up at her, cut off abruptly by the intense look in her eyes; it's like she's trying to tell me something.
"wait- were the lyrics for me?" i ask softly.
i see an emotion i don't think i've ever seen on her face before; a kind of vulnerable embarrassment that makes a pit in my stomach open up.
then finally, she speaks;
"oh- fuck it- aria, i'm in love with you, and i have been for a really long time- you're so pretty and perfect and everything you do- i-"
i gaze up at her in shock, with absolutely no idea how to respond.
~~~
hey there gays !
yes i am fully aware i disappeared for six months , HOWEVER i am back now ! i really needed that break , but i wanted my big return update to be on bil's birthday <3 (happy birthday bil i love u so much i can't believe ur 19 now)
promise i'll be updating more often from now on ! i have no plans on pulling any more six-month hiatuses lol . how're u guys doing ? what've i missed ? fill me in i've missed u all