Its been almost a year since I left WWE and Jonathan Good aka Dean Ambrose behind to fix myself after we lost of beautiful baby girl Ayla. Its been a tough and long journey but I am honestly such a better person for it. I spent the first month of therapy going five days a week, I slowly chipped away at that the following month and got it down to one day a week by the end of month two. Once I was at that stage I went back to my roots and wrestled for WAW again, it was amazing going back to where it all began and getting to wrestle with my surrogate family once more. I stayed with them for four months before deciding it was time to go back to America but instead of resigning with WWE, I signed a 6 month contract with Ring of Honour. I just wanted to get my feet wet and these little steps really helped me along with my recovery. I kept my therapy appointments by switching to phone appointments for a while before feeling strong enough to go out into the world alone again, something my therapist agreed with. So here I am, back in the wrestling world and starting to enjoy life once again.
Since the break up, Jon and I haven't spoke, at all. It was too hard for both of us, but I did stay in contact with Colby and Joe, mainly Joe because he was there every step of the way for me during the end of my pregnancy so in a way Jon and I were still connected as they would let me know he was okay every now and then. I also stayed in contact with The Bella's and Nattie, just because we were in either ends of the Earth didn't make us any less friends which I was grateful for, I had made true friends with them. Saraya of course, my sister from another mister, I never got rid of her in fact I was currently on my way to LA to celebrate her birthday.
Nikki and I have been in contact for the past week, of course she was planning Saraya's party and Sara had no idea I was coming. In fact I had lied to her and told her that I had work commitments I couldn't get out of. She was disappointed, maybe a little mad at me but that'll all change when she sees me. My flight had landed in LA from Chicago ten minutes ago and I was messaging Nikki to see if she was here yet as she promised to pick me up but instead of a reply I got a phone call from the woman herself.
"Hey boo, I've literally just pulled up come outside." Nikki spoke making me squeal with excitement. I have seen Nikki since returning to the US five months ago but it wasn't as regular as it was with WWE and I missed her. I practically ran out of the airport, my case trailing behind me making a lot of noise. Once I spotted Nikki the pair of us embraced together in a tight hug, glad to be together again. "I've missed you too much."
"I missed you." I sigh into her hair before pulling back and pushing my glasses up my nose again. In the last year I discovered I needed glasses which sucked, I hated it because now when I wanted to wrestle or do anything for the world of wrestling I needed to put in my contacts and I wasn't great at the whole removal of them unfortunately.
"You look so sexy with glasses." Nikki grinned walking around the car and getting into the driving seat after I put my case in the trunk I joined her in the passenger side of the car before we drove off to Sara's apartment. There was a bit of difference about me, I no longer had blond hair as I went silver four months ago with a rainbow underneath and my hair actually matched a phoenix tattoo I got on my ankle, both were multi colour. I got the phoenix tattoo as over the last year I felt like I had been reborn into the person I was suppose to be so I felt like it was fitting second tattoo as corny as it sounds. My first ever tattoo was a matching one with Saraya and that was a small paw print behind my right ear for our shared love of animals.
"Ugh I still can't get the contacts from my eyes." I laughed throwing my head back against the head rest. Nikki glanced over at me shaking her head with a slight eye roll, during our many face time calls Nikki had to look away because she thought I was going to poke my eye out on more than one occasion and I didn't blame her, after trying to get them out my eyes always looked red and sore from all the poking.
Nikki and I made small conversation before arriving at Sara's apartment. I left my case in the car as I would be the designated driver tonight taking myself and The Bella's home. After my meltdown with alcohol after losing Ayla I haven't had any alcohol really, I mean I have had the odd glass of champagne or beer but I just didn't feel the need for it sometimes. I didn't get as much enjoyment from it anymore and to be honest I was grateful I could still drink if I wanted to because I didn't develop a problem with it.
"Oh my god." Brie squeaked quietly opening the door and wrapping her arms around my neck. I hugged her back she was obviously helping Sara prepare for tonight's party, Nikki had told me she had a dress and heels that I had to wear to the club tonight. I had no choice in the matter so I didn't need to worry about finding an outfit to wear which took off some of the pressure thankfully. Nikki always had great style, sometimes a little revealing but I actually didn't mind that.
"Where is she?" I whispered peeking my head around the door and into the living room.
"Bedroom talking to Kevin." Brie replied stepping aside and letting Nikki and I in. Kevin was Sara's boyfriend from the band 'A Day to Remember'. I had met him a few times and he seemed like a lovely guy and of course he made Sara happy so I was happy for them both. As long as she wasn't hurting or in pain and I didn't have to kick anyone's ass, I was rooting for them. "She's coming, hide, hide."
"So Kevin can't make it, this birthday officially sucks now." I heard Saraya grumble as I ducked down behind the breakfast bar trying not to laugh. I held my hand over my mouth and nose, the other on the floor holding me up. "Did you at least sort out whatever problem the club was having with our reservation?"
"I did so everything is going be great Sara. It sucks Kevin can't make it but you have everyone else to celebrate it with." Nikki responded. To explain her absence the girls obviously fabricated some kind of lie involving the club to cover Nikki coming to collect me from the airport.
"I guess so. I just wish my boyfriend and my freaking sister were going to be there. It fucking sucks." I heard Sara sigh, I crept out from behind the breakfast bar and walked up behind Saraya covering her eyes when I was a few inches from her. I instantly see her seize up, before asking her to guess who. "No fucking way, no fucking way." Sara squealed as I removed my hands from around her eyes, immediately she wrapped her arms around my neck causing me to stumble back but remain standing as she attacks me.
"Surprise." The Bella's and I yelled at the same time. I heard Saraya whimper in my ear, causing my heart to break as I wrap my arms around her back, holding her close to me. My shoulder starting becoming wet but I knew it was her happy tears so I would let it slide and wash it off later.
"You guys, I hate but love you all at the same time." She sighed pulling away from my and wiping the tears from under her eyes with her hand. "I can't believe your here." She smiled pulling me into a one armed hug.
"I haven't missed one in ten years I'm not going to start now." I laughed returning the one armed hug before making a face. "Oh my god ten years, that makes me sound so old." I grimace making everyone laugh. I met Saraya when she was thirteen and I was eighteen at WAW and here we are ten years later still together. It was clear we were sisters for life.
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We just arrived at the club where Nikki had organised to hold Sara's 23rd birthday. It looked amazing and I was honestly looking forward to a goodnight with my old friends. I have had nights out obviously with the guys from ROH and it was great but it had nothing, nothing on my guys from WWE. Maybe it was because I knew the WWE guys longer I don't know but it being out with the ROH guys just wasn't the same. Before I could go inside, Sara pulled me aside causing the Bella's to stop and join us, all of us looking at her with confusion.
"I forgot to mention because I didn't think you were coming I invited the guys..." She trailed off and I knew instantly she meant Joe and Colby but I didn't know why that was an issue she knew I still spoke to them but when I noticed the shy smile on her face my heart stopped. She meant Jon and the fact she was telling me before I entered the club meant he accepted the invitation.
"Ohhh." I sigh playing with the end of my dress that Nikki gave me. It was black to go with the theme for Sara party, everyone had to wear black, Sara's favourite colour. The dress from the front looked like it came in two parts but it didn't, it was just spilt in the middle at the front to show off my stomach which I worked hard to sculpt.
"And he is here with Renee." She sighed scratching the side of her head. Ouch, that hurt. I honestly didn't know what to say to that but I noticed Nikki and Brie looked at each other before pulling Saraya's arm asking her what. "Yeah Colby told me, they starting seeing each other again a few months back. I didn't want to tell you and hurt your feelings but I wanted it to come from me in case you see them together tonight."
"I knew it." Nikki glared to no one in particular as she stared down the road, a scowl on her face. "I knew that little snake had feelings for Jon all along. She was just waiting for you to leave."
"That is unbelievable. Oh my god." Brie gasped looking over at me. I felt sick to my stomach as I inhaled deeply before exhaling. Jon and I were over for the best part of a year, yes we ended with a lot of emotion but he had every right to move on. Granted I would have preferred it wasn't with Renee who I had befriended but whatever.
"Guys, fuck it. Doesn't matter. He is moving on and after a year he can do what the fuck he likes." I shrugged, I was disappointed and hurt I won't lie, Jon went straight back to a girl he told me not to worry about. Flashes of Ronan came into my head, he had said the same thing about a girl and ended up with her, the only difference was he was still with me when he went with her whereas Jon waited until we broke up. But Jon's my past now so I'm gonna hold my head up high and enjoyed my sister's birthday as much as I can regardless of Jon and Renee.
"Why her though?" Nikki snarled flicking her black hair over her shoulder in disgust. "Tramp." She spat making me laugh as I linked arms with her and Sara who linked up with Brie.
"It's Saraya's birthday so let's fucking celebrate this bitch in style." I yell as the girls and I walked into the darkened club, there was smoke casually rolling through the air and strobe lightening hitting off the walls as we made our way through the crowd to the V.I.P section. The smile continued to grow on my face as I saw a few old friends, Stephen (Sheamus), Nick (Dolph), Antonio (Cesaro), Nattie and Trinity to name a few. They all welcomed me with open arms, complimenting me on my new hair and change of attitude as I reached each of them.
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The night was progressing nicely, I hadn't seen Jon at all so I was silently hoping he wasn't going to show up. I was currently sitting next to Colby and Joe catching up on everything that has happened with myself and them since we last spoke a few months ago.
"I love the hair." Colby grinned lifting up my locks and allowing it to fall strand by strand as he admired it. The last time I saw Colby in person was actually when I just joined ROH so I was still blond and whenever we talked over the phone I didn't tell him I changed my hair colour as he's a guy do they really care about that stuff? Probably not.
"Thank you, it's a bitch to keep but worth it." I giggled sipping on my water as I carried on our conversation. A light from the table caught my eyes and I noticed my phone was ringing and it was Maria Kanellis, she was once a WWE Diva once upon a time but I had met her through ROH and we hit it off immediately becoming instant friends. I excused myself from the guys and made my way out of the club to answer her call. She knew I was in LA tonight with Sara celebrating her birthday so I instantly thought something was wrong.
But I was mistaken, Maria completely forgot I was actually attending Sara's party tonight so we wrapped up the phone call quickly and I went back inside making my way through the crowd when my eyes fell on a small blond in the corner, she had her arms wrapped around a guys neck but not just any guy; Jon. My heart sunk down to my stomach, it was Jon and Renee. It was like a slow motion movie as I watched Jon bend down and capture her lips with his in a loving kiss, the same ones he used to give me.
"Everything alright babygirl?" I heard in my ear. Shaking my head at what I just saw I turned to Joe with a fake smile on my face, pretending everything was good. I noticed Joe steal a glance in the direction I was just looking before looking at me with sadness in his eyes. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I didn't want to hurt you."
"Joe, don't you dare. He has the right to move on as do I so I'm okay. I have to be." I grin patting his upper arm. "I'm good, I promise." I nod, ignoring the tightening in my chest as I wrap my arms around his waist for a hug. I wasn't good but I knew I'd be okay. It was obviously going to be hard seeing Jon with someone else, its a pretty big fucking pill to swallow but it was one I was going to swallow because he deserved all the happiness in the world. He was a great guy that fought for our relationship until the end and it was me who ended it, I threw it away, that was my choice and to be honest I didn't regret it. In fact I feel like a better person, a stronger person who discovered who she really is and you can't beat that in my book.
"Dance with me." Sara yelled in my ear grabbing my under arm pulling me away from Joe, who smiled widely walking back to the table as Sara pulled me to the dance floor. I threw my hands up into the air coping her moves as we swayed our hips to the Years and Years song - King.
"Ohh, ohh, ohh I was a king under your control." Sara and I sang, well screeched falling into each other laughing at how bad we were singing. She grabbed my hand twirling me around and bringing me back into her arms so that her arms were around my waist and my back against her chest. I closed my eyes for a brief second before opening them and boy I wish I hadn't. Once I opened my eyes they locked immediately with Jon who happened to be walking past, but he soon came to an abrupt stop, his eyes going wide with shock and his mouth dropping a little as he looked at me. I felt my lips tug into a small smile as I nod my head at him, it was like the club disappeared and it was just us. Everything was happening in slow motion for the second time tonight. Sara twirled me back out so I had no choice but to break eye contact with Jon. I glanced over my shoulder to see Jon being dragged away by Renee before turning back to Sara with a smile, she was too drunk to notice anything that just happened.
"You need to sit down." I laugh at Saraya who started stumbling on her feet. She wrapped an arm around my shoulder as I pulled her over to a booth where Joe sat with Brie. I placed a smile on my face to hide my true feelings from everyone but I was dying inside. I honestly thought I would be okay, that I would be happy for Jon but literally that brief second of looking into his eyes, every last fucking feeling I had for him came rushing back hitting me like a truck.
"Don't look now but Jon is staring right at you." Nikki spoke into my ear making me jump. I didn't see her sit next to me let alone come near the table. I became too wrapped up in my thoughts. I glanced over at her, before following her gaze and sure enough there was Jon sitting a few tables away, Renee next to him her hand on his thigh as he stared at me. I thought he would break eye contact once I looked over but nope, he just stared. Uncomfortably, I shifted in my seat looking back over at Nikki not sure of what to do.
"He looks good." I nod at her but refusing to look in that direction again. I crossed my legs, turning my body away from him and focusing all my attention on Nikki and anything behind her. She was relatively sober compared to Brie and Saraya who had entered 'Brie Mode' over an hour ago. She raised an eyebrow at me before looking over at Jon again, running her tongue over her top teeth and out to wet her lips.
"Mmm." She sighed with a slight eye roll. It annoyed her greatly that Jon went back to Renee, she never fully trusted her and clearly she was right not to. I was just surprised I didn't get the I told you so from her yet. "Let's forget about him and trampy over there and go have a good time." She smiled at me giving me a one armed hug. I breathed a sigh of relief because her mind was in overdrive with this situation so I was just grateful she didn't bring up whatever she was thinking. I nodded with her as we got up and made our way over to the bar to get her a drink and me a water. All I needed to do was get through tonight and by tomorrow I wouldn't have to worry about seeing Jon again as I go back on the road with ROH.
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So I couldn't let Stacey and Jon end like that so Welcome to all my beautiful, wonderful readers and I hope you enjoy the sequel. I've been back and forth about writing this but their story isn't finished not yet anyways... The Best Is Yet To Come