Oc Reviews! (Closed For Now)

By Winter_Evergreen

5K 146 560

CURRENTLY UNDER MANAGEMENT I will be reviewing Oc's as I'm getting them, meaning if you send yours first, I w... More

Form
Patches
Johanna Norville
Avril Delacroix
Samuel Kohler
Zuna
Karik
Gilbert Wagner
Tenka Kagesho
Pierre
Ivondor Thanelieos Aleskzendr Aurios
A19-74207-1 (Part 1)
A19-74207-1 (Part 2)
Diba Kasali
Braxton (1)
Braxton (2)
Donovan
Maverick
A/N
Agent Flentt
A/N
Arya Benitez
Uchikoshi Usagi
A/N
Yume Hakushin
Dyah
Tsumi Kandei
Tomiko Koemi
Merlyn (Darwin) Gwynn
Anuki (Pride)
Chen Xue
Twitch
Twitch 2
Ninozael Austreya
N/A
Umi Ayumi
Taiko Hirabayashi
Nemii Gardener
Jamaica

Mei Anderson

56 3 3
By Winter_Evergreen

Hello there my little rodents! Firstly I would like to thank FatherSweetArt for letting me review their character! Secondly, thank you, reader, for clicking on my book, I really hope you appreciate it and keep on reading my chapters to come! <3

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Fandom: Undertale (Like I said before it's been quite some time since I came back to Undertale so I may still get a few things wrong idk)

I'm also not very well versed in the Undertale universe, so apologies if I criticize something important. However, I will try to do as much research as I can on everything I don't understand.


Name: Mei Anderson

Nickname: Little Fisher(Monsters call her that), Marshmallow girl (Her family gave her that nickname)

I don't see anything wrong here.


Age: 9 years old (I felt like she should be a little bit older, so I made her a 3rd grader because if I can recall that was one of the worst years for me as a new student at my school, and I feel like those kids will be immature and hurt others for who they are, but this is just a personal preference for the little shits that are at my school are toxic assholes)

I'm sorry you had to go through that, and I hope that those children have become better as they've grown older.


Gender: female

Ethnicity/Race: Caucasian ( French + Japanese)

Everything here is fine.


Appearance: braided dark brown hair, black eyes, fair skin, slightly round body type, dark green boots, sea green raincoat, Navy blue shorts, wears a cute frog backpack

Soul Trait/Color: Green, Kindness

Everything here is fine. Her outfit also sounds like something a nine-year-old would wear so good job.


Personality: Mei can be a little bit immature at times, she is very caring and kind towards everyone even though she doesn't want to be that way to people who hurt her, however, she can be very sensitive, faint-hearted, and insecure. Faint-hearted because anything scary looking like that ugly ass omega Flowey can make her faint or start crying like a baby. Sensitive and Insecure is because on the surface kids at her toxic school used to make fun of her for her body. She can be very goofy and clumsy at times as well. And just like most kids, she is stubborn yet gullible.

I like her personality, I think she sounds like a pretty normal nine-year-old, but also like how she isn't perfect, because even kids go through problems.


Attack: 15

Defense: 34

From what I gather, this seems fine to me, just shows that she is more defense-oriented than attack-oriented.


Lv:1? (Ngl, I forgot what Lv was when I first wrote this, so she hasn't killed anything yet)

Apparently, this means Level of Violence, so the more you kill things the more this goes up. So she checks out.


Power/Attacks: Whip and pull (basically using fishing techniques), Fish slap, Fish School (The only magical thing she can do is summon a school of fish to attack her opponent)

Weapon(s): Fishing rod, Black Bass,

I like her powers and attacks, I think they are very cute and aren't extremely powerful.


Family: Richard Anderson(father), Umi Anderson (Mother) these two are people who fight for monsters, not against them. Like Mei, Umi was always taught to be kind and to respect others for who they are, Richard was taught to defend himself and to defend those he loved if they were to ever be taken down.

I loveeee how you went into their characters a bit, and I think you could go deeper and talk about their relationship with Mei.


Friends: William Fitzgerald(missing, he is a boy with a yellow soul aka justice, he is a kid who will defend his friends but always seems to have problems of his own, he has to deal with a cut-throat family and can only take but so much hate from others other than them, so he left his town, not wanting to deal with the hate there anymore before the disappearance Mei would always talk about how much he reminded her of her father since they both defend their loved ones.), Toriel, Sans (JUST FRIENDS, FOR THE SAKE OF JESUS-), Papyrus, Undyne, Alphys, Napstablook( I shall explain the relationships with monsters later)

I like how you explained William's character, and it makes sense why they would be friends if he reminded Mei of her father. 


Enemies: Flowey, Chara, Frisk, Mettaton, Asgore,(and if this was interlopers or glitch tale then it would also be Betty and Buddy, I will explain why she is enemies with them later), Muffet

Strengths(basically what she's good at doing): Fishing, swimming, sailing, companionship, Being creative, problem solving, be charismatic (as a water person it's quite easy to do some water sports, as for the other ones well ..she's a good problem solver and will try to think creative ways to do a certain thing)

Weaknesses(crap that can slow her down or weaken her ): Very Cold places, human weaknesses, being degraded because of her body, being sleepy/tired, scary things, running, climbing ( She's not good at running or climbing because of her body, she will easily fall or run out of breath, she does better in water than on land. She's human so obviously, she can get hurt by many things, as a kid, she probably will refuse to go to sleep if she is doing something this will cause her to do things very poorly, scary things will make her faint or cry, she is very sensitive about herself so if she gets degraded she will weaken her attacks)

I really like everything in these categories. I think you could add a couple more strengths though, just to make her strengths and weaknesses more balanced.


Likes: Fish, Fishing, Nature, Frogs, Cats, coloring, exploring, hiking, making little storybooks

Dislikes: Scary Things ( I can't stress how much she hates getting scared), getting sick(even getting a little cold), guns(the loud noise scares her), bullies, racism( towards human races and monsters, she believes that everyone is equal no matter what you are), pollution, when her cat tries to eat the fish, most of her classmates (a good chunk of them are brats but there are some she's okay with)

Goals: To find her friend but to also make more friends, return home with her friend, help break the barrier, help monsters and humans come together

Again I would just say add some more likes, and I like how you added very child-like Likes. Another thing you could do is add a more "mature" like because you have some mature dislikes like racism and pollution, so adding a mature like will balance it out.


Relationship with her monster friends: Like with Frisk, it becomes fairly easy to befriend Toriel and the skeleton brothers, she befriended Toriel by showing affection and kindness to her, for the brothers, Mei shared jokes with Sans and encouraged Papyrus to make the best spaghetti ever, plus showing him how to make other pasta foods. For Napstablook, and Alphys, she became friends with them by sharing similar interests and having this strange feeling like she needs to protect them from the hell that goes around the world. And finally, Undyne...it was hard to befriend her at first without getting her butt kicked, but eventually, she got Undyne to become friends with her by showing the interest to work out with her and from telling how she always liked fish and how beautiful they were.

I like how you explained her relationships with all of them. I think you should add exercising as a like or make her have the desire to work out more so that it makes sense that she shows interest towards Undyne, because before you said that she gets out of breath easily when she runs or climbs.


Relationship with enemies: Obviously she doesn't want to be friends with Flowey, Asgore, and Chara because they tried to kill her and other people multiple times, She doesn't like Mettaton because of how dramatic and weird he was in her eyes, though she still tries to be nice even if he makes her uncomfortable(he doesn't do anything to her but she just finds him uncomfortable to be with because it's ya know..Mettaton), She isn't very fond of Frisk because she just gets this weird feeling about them, like as if they had done something horrific. She dislikes Muffet because of the crazy amount of spiders she has and that she is one herself, like with Mettaton she will try to be kind to her.

I like how she still tries to be nice to the people she is uncomfortable around. Also, I think you could make her dislike of Frisk just a bit more subtle because I feel like it's just too specific as to why she dislikes Frisk.


Backstory: (Still not the best story because of writer's block)

Mei Anderson is a young female 3rd grader who was always taught to be kind and to never degrade anyone who is of a different race or species. Her family are people who were trying to defend the monsters, even when they would get massive backslash for it. Mei always felt really bad when her family would receive this amount of hate from the very citizens of her town, but her parents told her to keep her chin up and look at the people who support her, not the people who are against her. She always thought of this advice when kids would make fun of her for her slight chubbiness and would try to be kind to those who would degrade her. Eventually, she meets a young boy who would go fishing by a creek. The boy's name is William, a boy who would fight for what's right. They started to bond over similar interests in nature and became best friends over the month. They would play in the creeks and go exploring around the forest, but never go near the mountain, for they fear that they would end up like the missing kids. Mei's parents even got her fishing tools so that she could go fishing with William. Of course, she didn't know how to fish so William taught her and soon she got the hang of it. They wouldn't eat the fish but would either let them free or put them in a fish tank. Things seemed to go pretty well until school came back in session. William and Mei had the same class which they were very happy about but soon realized that their class was going to be a war zone between the brats, the bullied, and the class clowns who just poke fun at everyone. Mei had started getting teased and pushed around by others but never would do anything about it. William being the very protective and caring type had realized that Mei would never try to defend herself even if it's hurting her. So he would stand up for her and would constantly get dragged down with her. He didn't realize how stressful it was to deal with the bullies and his cold family. It caused him to see humans and the world in a pessimistic way, disliking how much injustice and hate he has seen. It was very overwhelming for him as a child and just wanted to leave and go to a better place. So that's what he did, he left, disappeared from the town, abandoning his best friend. This left Mei in such a sad and dreadful state. Her family tried to cheer her up but it wasn't working. Mei decided that she was going to find her friend and bring him home, she told herself that she would spend her entire life to find the boy that defended and befriended her. Her first thought was that he went to the mountain. So, she makes her journey to the mountain to find her friend not realizing what she was about to get herself into.

I think Mei's backstory is so cute! It does a great job explaining why she thinks she does (because her parents raised her with those ideologies) and it also explains her friendship and reasoning for going on this adventure very well.

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Thank you so much FatherSweetArt for letting me review your character. I think she is such a cute character and I hope you do a lot with her. And, thank you guys, the readers, so so much for reading my book! Subscribe to my profile for more updates on the chapter and other books, vote for this chapter if you really liked it and if you want, go ahead and drop your on OC in the "Form" chapter, which is the very first one. I will do what I can to review your OC and give you as much honest advice as possible. That's that Space Cats <3

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