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Tommy's POV
I'd had quite a good morning, Nikki and I left at the same time getting into our separate cars, him going to his therapy session and I was heading going over to Vince's to collect this multi-story shelf I'd been in love with since the moment I first saw it and I couldn't let Vin throw it away not when it'd look great in Nikki and I's front room.
I'd taken River with me seems as Nikki needed to take this therapy session solo. The couple of hours I'd spent with Vince had been great, it had the usual banter and hurls of insults but it was just how we were. River also kept close to Vince the entire time we were there- she really was in love with Vince Neil.
God help us.
It had taken just under 2 hours to dismantle the shelf into two pieces- we were the dumbest and least productive bastards to ever live. Fact.
Vince then fixed me up with my morning coffee which I hadn't been able to fix myself earlier on this morning before chatted for a short while playing with River for a few minutes before I noticed the time "Shit, Vin... I better go man, Nikki's gonna be back by now"
Vince then checked the time himself from the clock on the wall "Fuck, time flies when your having fun, huh? Yeah, you better get back" he concludes standing up offering me a hand so I can get up too, I accept it and he pulls me up before I grab River picking her off the ground not as easily as I had done months prior because she was seriously growing.
"Thanks Vin" I say to the singer as I grabbed one half of the shelf and he grabbed the other helping me take it out and place it in the car, I climbed into the drivers seat after securing River into the back while Vince bid a goodbye to River, kissing her on the cheek as I started up the car and shut the drivers side door and few seconds later Vince shuts the back door and stands next to my window.
"Drive safe, dude, see ya soon. Give Sixx my love would ya?" He smiles patting me on my shoulder.
"Course I will, bro. See ya soon, love ya"
"Love you too" the blonde nods and backs away from the car heading back in the direction of his front door- I back out of his driveway and head back home to Nikki.
It only took 8 minutes to drive from Vinny's house back home and that was me driving at a normal speed- guess it's a quiet day today. When I pulled into the driveway I hopped out the car and collected the two bits of shelf and placed them by the front door before going back to the car, taking my daughter from her seat and pulling her gently into my left arm.
Using my free arm I reach into my pocket and pull out the house keys only to remember Nikki's back home so the door would be open- I dropped the keys back into my pocket and pushed down the door handle and open the door with a smile on my face at thinking of Nikki.
But, when I stepped into the living room I found Nikki curled up on the couch shaking and sobbing relentlessly, on the verge of having a panic attack. The smile on my face fell as quick as it appeared carefully, I placed River down softly who instantly ran over to her toys in the corner of the room before I rushed over to my husband.
"Nikki? Oh my god, what happened? What's wrong?" I ask panicked myself at the state Nikki's in, at the sound of my voice Nikki's cries grow louder as he reached for me weakly.
"T-T-Tommy" he sobbed hysterically, my heart broke at the sheer fear the bassist was radiating- so. I sat next to him on the sofa and the pulled him up right next to me so he can cry into the crook of my neck, I ran my hands down Nikki's arms.
"Babe... what happened?" I mumbled to him.
"D-Deana.. she-.. she came here a-and... I'm so sorry Tommy... I'm so sorry..." Nikki said in a strained voice.
Deana? What the fuck did she want?
I'll get that question answered eventually but the thing that alarmed me right now was the fact Nikki just apologized... what the fuck happened? "Nikki... what in god's name do you have to be sorry for?"
"I did some-.. something r-really stupid... I'm so sorry.. j-just don't h-hate me... please, please don't hate m-..me" he begged, his arms tightened around my torso, my grip on him also tightened as I tried to calm him down.
Fear filled the pit of my stomach and my heart rate picked up considerably as he only began to cry harder at the attempt at comforting him "Hey, I'm not gonna hate you but you need to tell me... what did you do?" I asked hesitantly thinking of the many possibilities- I was already fairly certain I knew exactly what he's done, it was the only logical explanation for his distress.
Nikki shook his head lightly looked at me with bloodshot eyes, his bottom lip quivering, guilt radiating off of him "I'm sorry, Tom... I... I didn't want too"
Shit.
He didn't even have to say it, in that moment I just knew.
"Did... fuck.... Nik... did you t-take it?" I asked, my voice cracking as I spoke not wanting to really hear or even entertain the possibility of the answer I could get.
If he said yes I don't know what I'd do...
Nikki managed to maintain eye contact but didn't say a word "Please, baby tell me... did you take it?" I insisted tears falling from my own eyes at the thought that all of this was for nothing... all thanks to that heartless cunt Nikki called a mother.
After what felt like an eternity my husband gave me a reply and I swear my heart stopped beating.
"No" he whispers.
It was so quiet I almost didn't hear it but I did and man, I could have passed out from relief in that moment.
He was okay. I moved slightly and kissed Nikki softly on the forehead "Oh, thank fuck... okay... it's alright, Nik... your okay.... it's all okay" I breathed heavily burying my face into his hair.
"It isn't, T-Tommy... it isn't alright... I d-didn't take it but I wanted too- s-so fucking bad- I was s-so s-so close to fucking e-everything up again... I'm s-so sorry"
I sighed running my hands through his black locks "Don't apologize, don't you dare... it isn't your fault, okay? Your fine, you didn't give in.. I love you for that... it's okay, calm down now... breathe, Nik.. breathe"
It took a few minutes of my whispering sweet nothings into Nikki's ear and reassuring him that everything will be alright- that we're alright but Nik did then calm down and his breathing returned to normal.
"Y-you need to get rid of it.... I f-flushed some of it but the s-syringe- I-.. I couldn't...." he mumbles into my shoulder, I nodded and placed another kiss to his forehead.
"That's okay, it's all okay... where is it?"
"Bathroom"
"I'm gonna go and throw it okay? Is it all in the bathroom" I checked, wanting to know whether he had any on him- I'd know if he was lying to me to either way I'd find out but I trusted him to tell the truth.
"Y-yeah, I promise... I promise, it's just on the f-floor"
I squeezed Nikki lightly as I stood up slowly and glanced back to Nikki before I walked off upstairs towards the bathroom. My feet stopped dead as I reached the door, I was almost hesitant to open it but I had too because the longer it was here the more it was going to freak Nikki out.
I pushed open the door and glanced around the room, and yep- there laying on the floor was a syringe full of heroin along with a spoon, my cigarette lighter and Nikki's belt plus a small and a large zip lock bag both empty.
The belt was hanging out of the sink, Nik obviously having taken it off and thrown it when he ran downstairs.
Oh, Nikki...
Nikki was haunted by old demons and it breaks me when Deana comes here just to put him down or to upset him. I'm glad she wasn't here when I was because I can't promise I wouldn't have punched her in the face.
Seeing the needle laying here unused was a disturbing image, knowing this was all it would have taken to ruin all of Nikki's recovery but Nikki didn't take it. He was so tempted but he resisted it.
I was fucking proud of him for that.
Quickly then I knelt down and picked up my cigarette lighter and placed it in my pocket, the spoon and the syringe, I shot the gold liquid it contained into the toilet before flushing it away placing the now empty needle, and the spoon inside the empty zip lock bag which only had a slight dusting of white power in it.
Once all evidence of the drugs were gone I made my out of the bathroom and back downstairs, running out the front door and dropping the bag it took the nearest bin. I went back to Nikki as swiftly as possible wanting to try and put his mind at rest as much as I could.
My body say back next to my husband who was now just blankly staring at the floor, I reach my hand out and tap him making him look at me, I smiled softly and held my arms open for him- Nikki looks at me sketchily before shuffling into my embrace leaning his body on my shoulder as my arm went around the back of his neck.
"What made you stop?" I asked suddenly.
Nikki shrugged whispering "I couldn't do it... I was about too...-.. I felt so sick at the thought of betraying you... I couldn't do it... I... er-.. I ended out throwing up the second the needle touched my arm because I felt so fucking guilty, I was so repulsed by myself.. so I dropped it... I dropped it and came straight down here. I was so scared Tommy because I was so close to taking it, I had to think about it, I had to actually think about putting it down despite what it'd cost me if I took it and I was actually about to do it... everything in my body was telling me to take it... I'm sorry"
"But you didn't" I reminded him "You didn't and that's what matters... your okay, babe, everything's fine"
"Why are you so calm about this? I-... I almost ruined everything, how are you so fucking calm?" Nikki snapped.
I raised an eyebrow "Would being angry solve anything? I understand Nik, I get it... I've told you before it's okay to struggle, the fact you are struggling proves that your recovering. I knew this wasn't going to be easy but look, your okay, it's all okay. You didn't give in and I honestly can't tell you how proud I am of you baby"
"I brought it in the first place though, hate me Tommy... please... hate me because I deserve it"
"Nikki" I sighed "I'm never gonna hate you, I've told you this. You need to learn to forgive yourself, you made a mistake today but you realised it and stopped. It takes guts to do that, especially with something like this... addiction is a hard bitch to kick but you did it and you did it again today- you didn't give into that nagging voice- do you know how many ex-addicts would have caved? You didn't. Be proud of yourself"
"I wish I could be but I don't see it like that. I'm so used to seeing everything in a negative light I can't see the opposite... I know where your coming from Tom, really I do... but I just can't see it like that"
"Then let me see it for you" I muttered placing my lips over his "I see the best in you Nikki, I always will... I love the fuck outta you" Nikki didn't say anything he just leant back in and reconnected his lips to mine.
Nikki's gonna need me to help him because it's clear to see he's shaken up from what happened today- I'll always help him and I'm gonna make sure Deana never comes near him again.
Nobody hurts my Nikki.
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A/N: Did y'all think I'd do that to you? I couldn't do it to myself either to be honest... I was tempted though I will admit 😂