Seowoo was silent the whole car ride home, Heejin sharing a concerned glance with Jeno who sighed.
Chenle bit back his rising anger once seeing his Dad, instead moving his hand over Seowoo's but she didn't react.
She blankly stared out of the window.
"Drop me off here."
"What?" Jeno asked, confused at her emotionless tone of voice and her request.
"Stop the car."
The car came to a halt and Seowoo was quick to exit the car, recklessly immediately walking across the road.
Chenle caught sight of the graveyard across the street and exited the car- watching the girl already enter the gates.
With her fists clenched and heart on fire, Seowoo walked down the path that seemed foreign to her.
The lump grew in the back of her throat, bile bubbling up at everything that began to hit her.
Surely not, this can't be real.
The girl stopped abruptly, casting her eyes down at the grey headstone- forcing herself to look away as she immediately felt nauseous.
Shutting her eyes to stop her vision from spinning, light headed and heartbroken.
12 months, a whole year since he died.
She collapsed onto the ground in front of his headstone with her emotionless eyes staring at it.
"You knew all along...why didn't you stop it?" She whispered out, her voice thickening and becoming hoarse. "Why couldn't you live for me?"
A silence filled the air as Seowoo felt everything that had been building up inside her explode with a heart wrenching sob that cut through her throat and escaped from her mouth.
She couldn't find the words to say except feel the overwhelming amount of guilt eating her up, along with the betrayal she faced.
It was as if her whole life was a lie, the most important relationship she had turned out to be an utter lie.
She felt used, unable to comprehend in her mind that her own parents who brought them both up killed their own son.
"Jeongmin," she cried out, voice breaking into a whimper. "Please, come back to me- I can't...I can't live without you."
"I cant do it, it hurts- it hurt please make it stop." She sobbed, clutching her chest as she bent over, kneeling down.
The cold air around her turned into small droplets of rain which she didn't even pay attention to.
"It hurts." She repeated through her unsteady cries.
She looked up at the sky as rain began to fall on her, tears streaming down her flushed cheeks.
"I'm sorry."
Seowoo cried for a while, sniffling as she looked back at the gravestone to notice the flowers she recognised at the ones Jeongmin always bought Miyeon along with a note.
Seowoo.
Confused, she picked it up with shaky hands. Her eyes stinging from the endless crying yet she opened it up.
I found this when I was cleaning the house, I think it was meant for you.
Seowoo, my princess.
You're probably living without me around right now, it must have actually happened huh?
I'm not really sure what I'm writing right now but I just wanted to leave you with something you can look back on.
I remember the first day I saw you in the hospital you were crying bundled up in the pink blanket, I was scared at first. Another person I have to live with, a crying baby at that.
I remember your tiny fist grabbing my finger tight and I think that's when I loved you first, my sister who held onto me.
It might have been nothing to anyone else in that moment but I remember smiling so hard my cheeks hurt because I finally had someone I could rely on and someone who could rely on me.
I'm so grateful I was able to watch you grow, flourish into the wonderful beautiful woman you've become. I feel like crying when I think back at the years that passed too quickly.
I wish I could spend more with you but I can't, trust me I want to.
I want to see you graduate college and get into university.
I want to see you buy your first car and your first place.
I want to see you find your first real boyfriend, fall in love.
I want to see you go onto be so successful and get a job.
I want to see you walking down the isle in a beautiful dress or whatever you choose to wear at your wedding because I know you'll look beautiful in anything you wear.
I want to see the day you introduce me to my own niece or nephew.
I will stil see them all, just not by your side.
Even though I'm not with you physically, I'm still with you- watching over you every second of the day.
Please don't be upset Seowoo, I wish I could be there to wipe your tears like I usually did.
I wish I could see that stunning smile once again, can you smile for me now?
Your smile is the only thing that's getting me through writing this, knowing you will eventually be happy and continue your life the way you want to.
I know you will become everything you want to be and achieve so much in your life and I will endlessly be proud of you, I will always cheer you on I promise.
Don't be angry that this happened, don't cry anymore okay? Don't waste your tears being sad, I only want to see you cry happy tears or I'll haunt you!
No but seriously Seowoo, I'm so happy I got to know such a beautiful, funny pure soul like you. You made my time worth living and I know someone will make your time worth living too.
I love you Princess, forever.
Until we meet again,
-J
Seowoo clutched the letter in her hand tight as she wiped her tears, lethargically walking until she noticed Chenle leaning against the wall by the gates.
He looked up once seeing her, giving her a small smile unsure of how she was but she immediately found safety in his embrace.
I've already found someone who makes my time worth living.