Luke and I haven't talked since he kicked me out, thought it's only been just under twenty-four hours. Calum's coming by soon, he should be here any minute.
When I hear him knock, I get up and rush to the door. Quickly swinging it open, I smile at him.
"Kels, I'm so sorry." He quickly says, letting himself into the room. He sits on the edge of the bed, looking over at me as if he was waiting for me to come sit with him.
"What?" I question, not sure what he's talking about.
"I should've beat Luke's ass the second he kicked you out. I'm so sorry. I can't believe he did that."
"Hey, it's okay. I've been thinking about it and- I get why he did it. It fucking hurt, but, yeah. It makes sense."
"I don't think it was right. Glad you can accept it somehow, but I'm pissed off. I was so high last night I didn't react." Calum replies, sighing.
"Cal, stop. I'm telling you it's okay."
"Has he reached out?"
"No. But I really need to talk to him about it obviously." I tell him, taking a deep breath since the thought is already making me nervous.
"I don't understand why he's being like this."
"It's Luke. I think he's just in more pain than he wants to show. I've really fucked with his feelings recently, Cal."
He scoffs, "But did you really? He knew you guys weren't going to be anything more than friends."
"But I didn't expect to spend almost every second with him. Neither of us thought we would have sex twice."
"Twice?" Calum yells.
I sigh, "Yeah. Fuck, I never should've stayed with him. It was stupid. Things will be fine."
"I wish I could've offered you my place. We just don't have room."
"If you don't stop I swear to-"
"Okay! I just wish I could help you."
"Just being here for me is helpful. It's not your job to defend me." I tell him, weakly smiling at him.
He sighs, "I'm sorry. I just wish I could make things easier for you, and Luke."
"This will never be easy. But that's okay. If Luke doesn't reach out, I will. I'm leaving soon, it'd be nice to go over this with him."
"Good."
"Anyway, lets not talk about him."
The two of us quickly start catching up, though it was only a few minutes until my phone rang. Ashton was FaceTiming me.
"Can I just quickly answer this?" I ask, not wanting to offend him.
"Of course!"
I accept the call, smiling at Ashton through the screen, "Hey!"
"Hey! What's up, how are you feeling?"
"I'm good! With Calum right now." I tell him, scooting closer to Calum and putting him on camera as he waves to Ashton.
"Calum! What's good, man?" Ashton exclaims, smiling as he waves back at Calum.
Calum snatches my phone from my hand, deciding this call was just him and Ashton now.
Ashton chuckles, "I just wanted to make sure Kelsey's good but I know you're there for her, so."
"Oh, yeah, for sure. I told her I would beat up Luke for her if she wanted."
"Yes! I fully would but I'm too far away. Glad we're on the same page."
"Enough you two!" I laugh, taking the phone out of Calum's grasp.
"You should be glad you have us two here willing to beat him up for you." Ashton laughs.
"Okay, but like, don't, please. He has a pretty face leave it alone." I mutter.
Calum rolls his eyes, "Luke's not that pretty."
"Don't worry, Cal, you're pretty too."
"Did you hear that, Ashton? I'm pretty too!" Calum jokes, all of us laughing together.
"Enough." I chuckle, shaking my head at them.
"Okay, well, I had called to see if you were okay but it seems all good over there. I'll talk to you later." Ashton says.
I nod, saying our goodbyes before ending the call.
"He's fun." Calum laughs.
"You two would get along so well. I can only imagine the shit you two would get up to."
"I'm gonna have to come to LA soon. Maybe I'll just move there." He shrugs.
"Aw, that would be so much fun! If only." I chuckle.
"Well, let's get going, we're gonna go see a movie, right?" Calum asks, standing up.
"Yeah, lets go."
-
Luke had texted me during the movie. He asked if it was okay for us to meet up. The only reason I agreed was because I knew the two of us needed to have a serious talk about us. We decided to meet at the restaurant that's just across the street from my hotel.
Looking at myself in the mirror, I take a deep breath. This wasn't going to be easy, but I have to go have this discussion with him.
When arriving at the restaurant, I see Luke already sitting at our table.
"Hey." I weakly smile, sitting across from him.
"Hey." He replies. Like quickly lets me know he's already ordered our drinks.
"I think we need to get right into this." I tell him, taking a deep breath.
"Okay. Whatever you need to say. We have to figure out what's going on here."
"Luke, Listen... I- I think I still have feelings for you. But I don't know what we're supposed to do."
"We're supposed to make it work." He answers.
"How? I'm going back to LA. You run a whole company here. We couldn't make the distance work before. What's different now?"
"I- I'm different now. We're different now. Kelsey, please, don't do this..."
"I'm not ending everything, Luke. I want us to be friends. I would love to try and get us to work. But at this point in time, I really don't think we can."
"Fuck." He mutters, tears pooling in his eyes. I know I'm hurting him, but I don't mean to.
"I'm so sorry. The timing isn't right. We can try again, but I think I need to focus on starting my career. We need to keep being friends."
He nods, "I understand. I really do."
"In time we can work it out." I mumble, trying to not get emotional. I don't want to have to do this, but I don't really have a choice. "I really want to try. I think we need to just... slow the fuck down."
"Is this all because I kicked you out? I didn't mean to hurt you, I just didn't want us to fight! Living together like that was way too much for us right now!"
"And I get that! I understand that. That's why I'm saying we should wait." I reply, reaching out and grabbing his hands, gently squeezing them. "This whole time we said we were just friends. This shouldn't be so hard. We both knew we were just friends."
"Yeah. It just sucks." He mutters, pulling his hands away from mine.
"I- I should probably just go now. And I think it's best I just spend my last day tomorrow on my own." I tell him, weakly smiling at him. I hadn't even ordered food yet, but I don't think I could manage another minute here.
"Yeah, okay. I just hope you're not lying. I hope we'll still be friends."
"Luke, I promise you, I'm not lying. I just said I want this to work. But we clearly do need to work on things." I tell him, standing up and grabbing my purse.
"Okay. I love you." He says as I start to walk off.
I just nod, continuing to walk out of the restaurant. Though there are tears in my eyes I just keep walking. I do whatever I can to not cry until I get back to my hotel room.
It felt like I had no reason to cry, but for some reason I was sobbing.
This fucking sucks. I have no idea how things turned so bad so quickly. Yeah, it wasn't smooth sailing the whole time I was here, but it was never this bad. It was naive of me to think everything would be fine and be like how it used to.
"How the fuck did this happen?" I mutter to myself, sniffling as I continue crying.
There's no way this would work and it's stupid of me to think it would.
He cheated last time. We couldn't handle it. But I refuse to move back here.
Maybe it's better for me to move back to Seattle? I had talked to Ashton about it before and he had told me I was crazy. I agree with him. What good does Seattle bring me? Not much.
Enough.
I don't need this right now.
Taking a deep breath, I sit up, wiping my eyes. I don't want to have to call Ashton, so I focus on breathing before I give myself a panic attack.
Deciding that this trip is over, even though I'm not leaving yet. I put on Netflix, distracting myself from everything related to Luke and being here right now.
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hi sorry it's been a while I hope this was ok!