I was already in the spa bath when Xavier walked in with the towels.
“You took a long time to get a couple of towels.”
He looked over at me and smiled. “Yeah sorry, I saw your father in the hallway on the way to getting them. He wanted to talk about the letters.” Xavier looked down and frowned. “I didn’t want to tell him I actually had plans to bathe with his daughter.”
I rolled my eyes and felt a small smile creep on my face, the thought of Xavier explaining that to my dad was amusing and it was making me feel the most normal I had since earlier that morning.
“You know he probably realizes we…”
“Please don’t say it.” He cringed as he removed his clothes.
I let out a chuckle and shook my head. “You’re a prude.”
“Me?!” He stepped into the bath and looked over at me with a mischievous look. “A prude?”
“I’m an adult, and we’re in a relationship.” I murmured sinking into the water a little. “I was just saying, that I think he knows.”
Xavier shook his head and grinned. “Then come over here, and stop sitting so far away from me.”
I shrugged and moved across the bath until I was between his legs. His arms hung around me, leaving his hands hovering above my breasts. I lay back and looked up at him.
I could feel his heart beating, and his soft breathing. Never again could I take any of this for granted. Every day would be the beginning of a new chapter, every moment I could look into Xavier’s eyes a new start. As long as we stuck together, and as long as we were honest, then nothing could break us apart.
Xavier washed my back, the sweet smell of passion fruit body wash wafted up to my nose.
I watched as Xavier’s hands snuck forward and rubbed across my chest. I left my fingers trail up his arm, over the many tattoo’s covering it.
“Did they hurt much?”
“Some of them.” He whispered. “But they were like another form of therapy for me. The pain was nothing compared to how much I was hurting inside.”
I closed my eyes and pulled Xavier’s arms around me. I hated that he’d ever felt pain. I hated that his feelings for me had contributed to it.
“It’s okay baby. I don’t regret any of my pain. I mean, I regret some of my actions… But not the pain. I wouldn’t be the guy I am today without it.”
I traced some of the more intricate designs with my fingers. Their beauty was simplistic and complex all at once. How pictures in ink on skin could mean so much.
“I think I’d like one.” I murmured, surprising myself. I’d never really thought about it before.
“Really?” He replied sounding as surprised as I felt.
I mocked offense and sat forward. “Don’t you think I could pull off a tattoo? I’m not rock star enough?”
I turned around gauge his response he shook his head. “You’re plenty rock star Scar and your soft smooth skin will look amazing with ink on it.”
“Then why so surprised?”
“I’m not surprised.” He replied pulling me back in to him. “I’m excited. I’m not sure if you’ve noticed… but, uh... I kind of like ink.”
I smiled and relaxed again. “Fair point.”
“What do you want to get.”
“Something to represent our family. The people we’ve lost. The ones we’ll gain. Something I can add on too.”
“How about birds sitting in the tree represent the living, Birds flying represent those lost?”
I closed my eyes to imagine it, my heart pounded at the thought, but I knew it was perfect.
“We can even have a tiny bird to represent the loss of our baby.” I murmured.
Xavier held on to me a little tighter. “Yes.”
I ran my hand over shoulder blade, Xavier bent down and kissed my fingers, and my back. “I’ll call the guy I get to do all my work. He’s amazing. He’ll draw something up for you.”
“Thank you.”
“Shall we get out? My fingers are beginning to prune.”
I let my hand fall back down onto my lap, I looked down at my own pruny hands. I stood up and hopped out of the warm water. Xavier watched me the whole time, his breathing changed from even to ragged. I dried myself then wrapped the towel around me. It was only then that he broke from his pervy trance.
“You know it’s a good think I’m not a teenager anymore.” He croaked.
“Why?”
He stood up and pointed down to his groin. “I gather I’d have some trouble explaining this to you.”
Everything about him was rigid and hard. His biceps, his pecs, and everything down below. I let out a soft sigh. “I don’t know.” I whispered.
“I was so keen to get it ‘over with’ I think I would have tackled you anyway.”
Xavier stepped out of the bath and grabbed the other towel. “I’m glad you never did it back then just to get it over with Scar. With me, or anyone else.”
“Me too.”
We snuck back across the hallway and in to my room. Xavier climbed into my bed after casting the towel into the laundry hamper by my door.
“I hope you’re not getting any ideas. Today has been exhausting.” I said yawning.
He shook his head and pulled the blankets back. “I just want to lie as close to you as I can. No barriers.”
I loosened my towel and chucked it across to the hamper. Xavier’s eyes watched me hungrily for a moment, then he shook his head and raised his gaze to my eyes once more.
“Well you don’t need to tease a guy.” He groaned.
I climbed into bed, and our bodies synced. He kissed my shoulder then sighed.
“What’s up?” I murmured… I felt stupid the second I said it. Cris had died. A friend, a brother. The question was redundant and didn’t need an answer. I turn over and put my index finger over Xav’s mouth as he opened it to speak. “Don’t answer that, today has been tough.”
“It has.” He whispered, slowly moving my hand from his face, “but I’ve got other stuff on my mind.”
I frowned and propped my head up on my arm. “I’m listening.”
“It’s about Arabelle.”
I scowled when he mentioned her name. It was a natural reaction, she made me so angry and jealous it just wasn’t natural. “Do we need to talk about her? She isn’t a problem anymore.” I replied.
“It’s just I…”
“Xav it doesn’t matter. She’s gone. We’re together.”
Xavier nodded and kissed me on the head. “You’re probably right. You were right about her after all.”
I smiled and pressed my lips to Xavier’s. “I’m right about everything Xavier. I thought you knew that already.”
He nodded. “I love you so much.” Tears lined his eyes, but a smile crossed his face. I cupped his cheeks locked my own tear stained eyes with his. “I love you too. I always will.”
I lifted my body until I sat on top of him. His eyes widened but, his hands moved to my hips all the same. “You said…”
“I need to be with you Xavier.” I murmured. “In every way possible.”
He nodded and lifted himself, until we were both sitting up. “You’re my medicine.” He replied.
His touch was like a bandage enclosing around me, keeping me safe and warm, and bringing life back into my veins. I felt the pieces of my heart that had fragmented from the days hurt slowly return to make me whole again. His kisses removed all worry, taking me into a place of solitude, even if it only lasted as long as his lips were on mine.
“Condom” He whispered into my ear, his voice husky. Even something so unsexy sounded like he’d just serenaded me. I leaned across and opened the bedside drawer and grabbed a foil package.
Xavier lifted an eyebrow. “Since when have those been in there?”
“Since senior year.” I blushed.
Xavier flipped the package over. “They expire in four months.”
“Good. So they’re fine.”
Xavier tore the packet open then laughed. “Please tell me these aren’t the ones they gave out in sex ed?”
“So what if they are.”
“You’ll see.”
Xavier put it on then leaned across and flicked off the bedside light. I wasn’t prepared for what happened, I guess that’s why laughter exploded from me like a volcano. I calmed myself, guilt rushed over me, my sudden silence must have told Xavier all he needed to know because he found my face in the dark and kissed my forehead. “You’re allowed to find happiness in things Scar sometimes that is the one thing that will help you get through.”
I sighed and looked down at Xavier glowing groin.
“They really gave out glow in the dark condoms to a bunch of seniors.”
Xavier laughed and pulled me back on to his lap. “No.” He murmured. “I swapped them.”
I wasn’t shocked. High school Xavier was big on the pranks, and well changing normal condoms for novelty ones was right up his alley alongside tormenting me.
“I hope when we have kids, they’re nice and sweet like me.” I said softly.
“Oh baby, me too, me too.”
His lips grazed mine again, and suddenly all the laughter dissipated. Being with him became the prime target again.
His hands ran up over my hips, stopping at my breasts. Slowly he took one in his mouth, and then moved to the other. I let out an involuntary moan of pleasure and anticipation. I lifted myself to guide his glowing hardness inside me, and with that, it was his turn to moan. Foreplay wasn’t needed. Not tonight.
Tonight wasn’t explicitly about pleasure, even though it was inevitable. Tonight was about being one, celebrating it, being grateful for it, realizing that at any moment it could be taken away.
We moved together slow then fast, then slow again. My body began to shake from the tension building inside. I needed release like I needed to breath, but I needed to take my time, so I held myself at the edge and looked into Xavier’s eyes. His teeth clenched and I knew he was near the edge as well.
I kissed him, our lips melted together like chocolate, messy and sweet.
He gripped me and pulled me as tight as he could, his fingers digging in to my back. I responded by moving against him faster and faster until finally, holding my release was no longer an option. We rode the waves of innate pleasure together, breathing in time, shaking in time. I sagged in to him, exhausted but sated.
When we woke the next morning, I was so relaxed I almost forgot what happened the day before. Then it hit my like a ton of bricks again and I felt like the weight of the world was on top of me.
Jace…
“Morning Baby.”
“I’m glad you left out the ‘good.’” I replied.
Xavier’s hands wrapped around my waist, our bodies curved into one another and I remembered we’d gone to bed naked. My worries began to slip away. Before we could get carried away there was a knock at the door.
“Honey… It’s mom. Can I come in?” She sounded frantic, and I knew instantly Dad had told her about the letters.
“Uh, give us a few minutes and we’ll meet downstairs okay?” I called back. “I love you mom.”
“I love you too.” She replied, a clear ball of emotion caught her voice and I heard her sobbing as she walked back down the hall.
I sat up and let my head hang. Reality had come back and bit me with a passion. I wasn’t really ready to talk about the letters with my parents, but they deserved it regardless. I stood up and walked over to my suitcase. Xavier was beside me as I pulled on my underwear.
“I hope they don’t insist on 24/7 security like last time.” I mumbled.
“Just let them do what they need to.” He replied. “Let them feel like you’re safe.”
Xavier was right, I owed them that much, even if the idea made me feel like a caged bird.
Once we were both dressed we headed down stairs.
It was still early, the others were still in bed. My parents sat at the table.
Dad looked up at me and stood up. “Coffee?”
I shook my head, but Xavier must have nodded because Dad walked over to the coffee machine and made him one. Once he sat down again he and mom held each other’s hands.
“How long?” Mom whispered.
“Three weeks. They started in New York, the same day as the sex tape resurfaced.” I replied. “I thought it was a sick prank.”
“So you kept quiet?”
I nodded. “At least that was the plan. But Ben found the letter and he told me to tell him if anymore came. I didn’t realize it at the time, but he also called DJ.”
Dad’s face twisted a little and he looked disappointed. “DJ should have said something. He knows everything we’ve been through.”
“Daddy, I was the one who didn’t say a word. More letters came and I ignored them like they were nothing.”
“You’ll know that the police are investigating.” Xavier interjected. “They don’t have a whole lot to go on because the fingerprint level will most likely be compromised. But Scarlett knows what she did was wrong, and we’re all in a better position to support her now we know.”
Dad smiled and looked up at Xavier. “You’re right.”
Mom shifted in her seat and wiped away a stray tear. “I want you to have a bodyguard.” She murmured. “And I’m the world’s biggest hypocrite, because I did everything to evade my own at the start of my career.”
But she looked at me and smiled softly. “But after having you kids, and after yesterday.” She stopped to take a breath. “I don’t want to take any chances.”
I nodded and reached across the table, taking her spare hand in mine. “Okay Mom.”
Dad looked surprised and then pulled out his phone. “I know a guy, let me make some calls.”
I nodded and watched as he stood to walk away. Mom stood up and shuffled over to Xavier and I. She bent down and brought us both into her arms. “Thank you honey.” She said as she kissed my forehead.
She walked over to Dad while he spoke to whatever ‘contact’ it was that would be responsible for watching my every move.
Xavier took my hand in his. He leaned in and kissed me on the cheek. “This is a good thing. No one can get you when they can’t get through to you.”
I nodded and sighed deeply, as I watched the last ounce of freedom I had roll out the front door.
***
I'm getting awesome at updating again! yay for me haha
Hope you liked this chapter. Did you spot Xav's failed attempt at being 100% honest. Do you think he should have tried harder?
Also yes, to those who read FY, E and this will notice similarities in the tattoo of choice. I'm not sure if I've mentioned before that I take things from FY, E and use in other books.... yeah well I kind of did that here too because it fits the moment.
Anywho, hope you liked it.
In the side you'll see a beautiful fan art by Vivian_blue! I think it suits the tone of most of this chapter really well too!
Feel free to follow me on twitter @eelyah21 or facebook.com/xebbex
Love yas!