Chapter Nineteen - Cake is Non-Negotiable.

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When we made it San Francisco the first thing Xavier did was call a sonographer. I didn’t blame him for being anxious. We’d lost a baby once before, and it had almost ruined us, but that fear I’d held then was nowhere to be seen. This baby was fine, I knew it in my heart of hearts.

Still, I appeased him and before my first concert we went to a private hospital.

“I’m nervous” He mumbled, I could hear it in his voice too. I took his hand in mine as I lay back on the bed. It had been a bed like this that I’d laid on when I’d first been told I’d lost the baby, but even that didn’t worry me.

“It’s going to be fine.”

The doctor walked in, her eyes widened as she took in who we were. She smiled and sat down at her chair. “Miss Jackson, Mr. Smith.”

Xavier grinned and hung his head. “You’re a fan I take it?”

She let out a small giggle and shrugged, obviously trying to downplay her adoration for my fiancee. “You could say that. Now, let’s see how things are going shall we?”

I withheld my own chuckle and nodded. “Sounds great.”

The cold slimy jelly was no nicer than last time, it felt like someone had poured cold underset jello all over my stomach and was rubbing it in like a body wash. The sonographer pushed the wand into my stomach.

“Is everything okay? Is the baby okay.” Xavier exclaimed, his smile was gone again and he sat forward. I watched him as his eyes focused on the screen then I looked back at the radiologist and smiled.

“Yes. Everything looks fantastic so far.” She replied, her eyes stayed glued to the screen as she did her measurements.

Xavier’s hand squeezed mine again, and he bent down to kiss my fingertips.

“There’s the heartbeat.” She pointed to the screen and we watched the soft fast flickering. “Your measurements put you at about 12 weeks. Does that sound accurate?”

Shock rushed through me. I looked at the screen and then my still flat stomach, then back at the screen.

12 weeks? I’d had a period before I left for the promo tour hadn’t I…. I couldn’t remember. Everything had been so crazy busy. I’d drunk wine in the Jacuzzi when I was already pregnant. Oh god…

“12 weeks…” Xavier whispered, his voice sounding the way I felt. “I don’t understand.”

“I take it you are surprised by this answer?” the sonographer questioned.

I nodded and looked at Xavier, completely dumbfounded.

“It happened before you left?” Xavier mumbled. I watched him as he racked his brain, trying to remember a time when we hadn’t been careful. He ran his hands through his hair then looked up at me.

“It happened before you left.” He said slowly, his words were a statement now rather than a question. He nodded as he spoke and I could see guilt wash over him.

“Why is my stomach still flat, shouldn’t I have like a small bump at least?” I whispered.

The sonographer shook her head and lifted the wand away from my stomach.

“Some people just don’t show until a little later on in pregnancy. Count yourself lucky Miss Jackson, you can keep it private for a bit longer.”

She handed me a paper towel before she stood up. “Congratulations by the way.”

She gave Xavier a picture of the baby then walked over to the door. “I’ll notify the desk to let you out the back.”

She looked back over at us one last time, and then smiled shyly at Xavier before finally leaving.

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