Chapter Seventeen - Seven White Lies

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When the doctor arrived, I was relieved to see she was a woman. Explaining my symptoms to a man, with Ben around would have been a bit much.

“Well Scarlett how can I help.”

“She’s nauseous all the time, and she hasn’t eaten more than a dry piece of toast in two days.”

I looked at Ben and rolled my eyes. “I had pasta last night.”

The doctor looked at Ben and then at me. She wrote something down then pointed at Ben. “You can leave now.”

Ben huffed and walked away. The doctor leaned forward and raised a hand to her face. “Are there any other symptoms?”

I nodded. Aware of the territory into which I was crossing. Aware that once I had the answer, it was true, and there was no pretending it wasn’t happening.

“I haven’t had my period in over a month.” I closed my eyes. “Food tastes metallic, I’m tired all the time… and emotional, even though I do an okay job of hiding it.”

I looked up at her, her face was soft and she had a reassuring smile. “I get the feeling you have a fair idea of what is happening here?”

I nodded and looked back down at my hands. “I’m pregnant aren’t I?”

The doctor opened her bag and pulled out a small package. “I’m not sure, but it sounds like it. Why don’t you go take this test and we’ll find out together.”

I took the test and walked over to the en-suite. My hands were shaking, I wasn’t ready for this, not now. 9 months ago when I’d found out I was pregnant it had been an emotional rollercoaster, and just when I’d got used to it, I lost the baby. I’d felt like such a failure and then Xavier had left me and it had all been such a horrific mess… Just like it was now.

I placed the test on the marble vanity and stared at myself in the mirror.

“Please.” I mumbled to myself, unsure what I was hoping for. Unsure of what the please meant.

I tore the package open and completed the test. I walked out without looking at it and set it down on the tissue paper the doctor had set out on my bed. I couldn’t look. I kept my eyes on the orchid in the corner. It was beautiful, even if the tips of the leaves were browning slightly. It need a little more water.

“Scarlett.” The doctor said softly, her hand grazed mine, my focus turned back to her and she smiled.

“You’re pregnant.”

Surprisingly it didn’t feel like my world had fallen out from beneath me. It didn’t feel like it was the end of the world. I was pregnant.

“I’m going to write you a prescription for prenatal vitamins. You’re going to need a doctor to follow you through this pregnancy if you choose to go through with it, so please look in to that. Is this your first pregnancy?”

If you choose to go through with it. I’d been so uncertain last time, so afraid, but there was none of that this time. There was no choosing. This baby was meant to be.

“Scarlett?”

“No. I had a miscarriage around 9 months ago.” I whispered.

The doctor nodded. “I’m very sorry. I’d advise getting an Ob quicker so you can have a scan and really check things over okay?"

I nodded and took the prescription.

We worked out I was about 7 weeks pregnant. My period had been due the week after Xavier and I had been reunited for our Sexpalooza break. Only with everything that ended up happening, I never noticed that it hadn’t arrived.

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