I am in a blue tub that is half filled with lukewarm water
The air feels so chilly but the water kisses my flushed skin
The man. He is dark. He is a stalker. He is an abuser The man is also the form of a woman. She's fierce and red. But her bee strings can kill you if you let it. .
The voices repeat themselves....
Over and over again!
"Everything is your fault."
"Your breast are like cow boobs"
"Your room is embarrassing"
"You are gaining weight"
"Don't take him to the barbershop or we will have problems"
"You and I will not be close like me and my mother are"
"Ray, your sister never tells me that she loves me.. why?"
"why don't you ever talk to us"
"You're isolating yourself in your room"
The monsters in my head of screaming and I just want to drown in the water...
I am literally screaming for help
I can't take the abuse anyone
Why can't I walk Away?
Why would I even go.
The ultimate question that STILL tears my non-existing heart apart
I have a lot to live for.
I....I cannot give up on myself.
I worked so hard?
There a door outside the room
A brownish colored door with a silver knob
This door has endless opportunities
The childish girl in me smiles and say "does this mean we will finally be happy?"
I speak out aloud, "maybe there's a chance."
But, first, I need to get my head out of the water.
I am trying to breathe but why do you push me back into the water?
Why don't I matter to you?
How did you end up being the actual demon in my life?
What went wrong . . . .