The rain had poured down on me the entire walk to school - I barely noticed. Nobody expected me to be here. I didn't expect me to be here. Especially not on my birthday, but hey, here I was. A changed person.
I haven't bothered to put makeup on, I haven't brushed my hair, I had barely managed to brush my teeth. I was acting exactly like a girl whose brother should be acting, except for the fact that I was optionally attending school on my birthday... while he was still missing.
But what should I even do? Stay at home waiting for a 'present' off of Ryan, waiting for news about my brother. I couldn't do it anymore. I just wanted normality back, even for a day. Even if it was my so-called birthday.
Birthdays were overrated.
"Amelia? What the hell are you doing here? Are you okay?" Georgia took my elbow as I entered the school, appearing almost out of nowhere and leading me to the side.
I looked like shit compared to her. I had dressed in joggers and a tank top, but I was now coated in rain drops over my entire outfit and my hair as if I'd been in the shower. Georgia, however, looked glamorous in her brand new jeans and leather jacket. I wish I had her life.
"I'm at school, Gee. It's a school day and so I'm at school." I commented, heading towards my locker so that I wasn't late for class.
"Does Carter know you're here? Have they found Jamie? When was the last time you slept?" She fast walked behind me, desperate to keep up as I walked off.
"Honestly, don't worry about me, Gee. No he doesn't know. No, they haven't found him. I haven't slept properly in ages, that's nothing new. I'm just going to grab my stuff from my locker and head to class, I promise I'm okay. I'll see you at lunch." I reassured her, before turning her around and in the direction of her first class.
Just as I reached my locker though, the bell went off. I didn't want to be late for class, not when I hadn't been yet this week. Deciding that I could work without the textbook for today, I skipped past my locker and straight into the first period. As soon as I had taken my seat though, my phone buzzed with a text.
My phone was the most important thing to me at the minute, desperate for an update on Jamie. Every buzz, every beep or any sort of device noise associated with a phone, I will be jumping to look at my own. So that's exactly what I did... under the table so that I didn't get a detention.
Carter: Georgia says you're here at school? Are you in class? Meet me by your locker when the bell goes, Amelia, please.
Carter: By the way, happy birthday x
I didn't respond to his text, especially once the teacher required all of our attention to discuss our upcoming test. As if I was going to have the mental capacity to be able to study for a test, or even listen to the concept of a test happening. It was a no from me, I wouldn't be attending that day.
At the end of class I did what Carter asked and met him by my locker, him obviously knowing that I have a free period now in my timetable. I'm not sure if that's cute or creepy that he knows that. I'll go with cute just to make myself feel better for right now.
"I can't believe you've come in today, Amelia. It's your birthday." He spoke softly as I wandered towards him, immediately wanting to curl up into a ball and cry. He wrapped his arms around me as I reached him, kissing my forehead as he wished me a happy birthday.
"I couldn't just sit at home twiddling my thumbs, Carter. I need to feel useful." I whispered into his chest, trying so hard not to cry thinking about Jamie.
I pulled away from him, figuring that he was skipping class as the bell had gone and he'd not moved from beside me. I undid my locker, feeling the emptiness of the corridor suddenly looming over me.
"I thought you didn't want to tell anybody about your birthday." He commented, looking into my locker.
"I haven't-" I began, stopping short when I looked in the same direction at the present sitting on top of my books. "Nobody knows the combination to my locker."
I closed my eyes for a second, taking a deep breath as I thought this through. Ryan wouldn't have put something dangerous in there, surely? No. He'd want me to have something real. Something that might determine where Jamie was.
I lifted the lid of the box, a bright yellow bow sitting on top, and took it out from the locker. I hated that he knew yellow was my favourite colour. I hated that he knew so much about me that even I had forgotten.
A tear rolled down my face as I noticed the small item inside, an item I used to hold so closely to me. The ring was beautiful, so plain on the outside but the inside was carved with the day that Ryan apparently fell in love with me. He had gotten it for me for my first birthday that I was with him, and I wore it almost every single day that I knew him.
And then he pushed my mother down the stairs. And then he kidnapped my baby brother. And then he drove a van into my dad. I can't even remember where I had thrown it, but I lost it one day and never looked back.
How did he find it?
"Is it from him?" Carter queried, examining the ring that I had shut the lid back on and placed back inside my locker. I couldn't do this, not now. I nodded my head, turning around and looking anywhere but my tainted locker.
"He must have been here, Carter. That means Jamie is close. Closer than I probably think." I let my mind wander with thoughts, possibilities of seeing Jamie again and finally being able to get him away from that psychopath. If I saw Ryan, would I attack him? Would I scream for help? Would I call the police?
I probably wouldn't.
Ryan was a specific man. I would have to be careful about how I approached seeing him again. And I know that I will see him again. I could feel it. I also know that this was definitely not the last of his presents, especially seeing as he preferred people to have to find their presents rather than being given them. Dick. I hit my head against the locker, before getting a frantic text message on my phone from Georgia.
Georgia: OMG! You didn't tell me it was your BIRTHDAY! Amelia!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! We've got to do something to celebrate!
Me: How did you find out?
Georgia: Oh, silly! I got a Facebook notification - you added me as a friend! Your birthday is on your profile!
Confusion hit me like a ton of bricks. I re-read her message over and over, being more confused as the seconds passed. I showed Carter her response as we wandered outside to the benched areas - specifically for people to study on their free periods. Nobody did. Everybody just hung out here instead.
"I didn't think you had any form of social media?" Carter queried, taking a seat opposite Matt who was already out here doing some work.
"That's the thing... I don't. But, even if somebody was using my pictures - to know my birthday? It doesn't make any sense. Even for Ryan, I don't get it." I responded, sitting down and explaining the situation to Matt.
"Hey, mate, can I borrow your laptop a second?" Carter pointed to the laptop sitting in front of Matt, which he happily pushed forward for him to use. I was completely oblivious to what Carter was doing at first, until I watched what he was searching.
Matt wandered around to our side of the bench, looking over Carter's shoulder as he searched my name on Facebook. My profile popped up immediately, well, a profile that I thought I had deactivated. My profile picture must have been at least two years old, all of my so called Facebook friends being from my hometown. You couldn't see anything further though, because my entire profile was private.
Dammit.
"If this is my real profile though from years ago... maybe I can still log in?" I suggested, taking the laptop from Carter and attempting my old log in.
I wasn't surprised when it didn't work, the password probably having expired and whoever reactivated this account making a new one. I just don't understand. If this was Ryan, what did he gain from this? What did he gain from people finding out that it was my birthday? I understood the ring, to bring back faded memories, but the account? I was completely confused.
I tried a few other passwords, before wanting to give up completely. I just needed to clear my head. If Ryan had reactivated my account, then he probably used a password that he wanted me to eventually be able to guess. A password of his maybe? I thought hard, coming up short about what any of his passwords were as I had never been one to care about what was on his devices. Finally though, I remembered him changing my phone password once to one that he thought was 'special'.
It was the same date as inside the ring.
The account unlocked with a simple date being entered, all of this linking somehow. I still couldn't help but feel as though there was a puzzle missing though, an important piece that would connect all of the dots. I clicked on my profile, everything suddenly being unlocked and feeling as though I was being transported back in time. Back to my old life where everything was a perfect little bubble.
I scrolled down my feed, the stupid shared posts and odd status' that I had written, the photos of me as a child that my mother posted or the happy birthday messages once a year. It was all so silly, so unnecessary when you looked back. However, there must be something here. This was definitely a message. I just couldn't read the language of it yet.
The bell eventually went for lunch, where the rest of the group joined us and attempted to talk about my birthday. I was forced to give Matt his laptop back, downloading the app onto my phone instead as I still hadn't worked out what the missing piece of the puzzle was.
"Look, I know you're going through a rough time right now, Amelia. But, please, please agree to this. I think you need something to cheer you up and you can have your phone on you the entire time - so if they do call you'll know immediately! And it'll be safe with all of us there!" Georgia clapped her hands together, obviously excited about whatever she was planning.
I wasn't paying enough attention, however, nodding my head and agreeing before Carter nudged me and laughed. I was so absorbed in my phone that I hadn't even realised what I had agreed to, and he obviously noticed that. Carter whispered in my ear Georgia's plans for a birthday party tonight for me - to which I began to loudly protest.
It didn't work.
"We'll come over straight after school to set up! It's going to be great, Amelia, I promise!" She cheered, before grabbing her books and running off with Millie to start planning.
Could this day get any worse?