Chapter 22:
I didn't go to Zander's hotel room directly. It would seem far too obvious that I was seeking him out if I appeared out of nowhere after avoiding him for so long. Instead, I sat outside of the building, my car parked a good distance away but close enough so that I could see who entered and exited the building at all times.
The place still felt filthy, even from a distance. How in the hell did he manage to find the one place close enough to the town that seemed so sketchy and dirty? It was like a wasteland hotel-- where people and dreams went to die. Still, that didn't deter me nor matter. I had one mission here, and I was going to get it done without a doubt.
After a couple of hours passed with me sitting in my car, I threw my head back against my seat and cursed under my breath, wishing something would happen already. My legs were becoming restless as I sat there patiently, and my fingers were just itching for something to do, some kind of action or danger to draw closer to.
I knew I had to be patient.
I've been through stake out situations that lasted for days and weeks at a time. This was nothing. Sitting in the car for two hours may be incredibly uncomfortable and boring, but I had been trained well.
The worst mission we'd ever been on left me waiting in an air vent for a full day, such a cramped space reminding me vividly of the training I was put through, and I wanted nothing more than to break out even if it broke my cover and ruined our plan. I had to find a calmness within myself, and I had to focus intensely on my breathing in the cramped area unless I wanted to ruin everything and potentially lose my life to the men speaking below me.
My mission was intel, and even when I was panicked and distracted, I still managed to catch what the men below were discussing. I still managed to do my job, so I'll be damned if I let a fucking car stake out get the best of me.
I would lie in wait for as long as I needed until my target made a move. It was a game of cat and mouse, and I would wait for the mouse to think he was safe before charging at it, attacking without its knowledge. It was always such a thrill!
Finally, the front doors opened, and I saw Zander sway his way out of the hotel room and walk over to his car. He seemed to be whistling to himself, as if he had no cares in the world, and I found my hatred for him growing inside me yet again.
I hated anyone who laid a hand on someone innocent.
He climbed into his car, and I allowed him to back out of the driveway and toward the exit leading to the street before turning on my own car and moving to follow. I stayed a good distance away, always making sure there were at least two cars between us as he drove toward town. That's where it got a little more complicated.
There were hardly any cars turning down the same way he was as we got closer to the town, and if I were to turn alone with him, he would instantly wonder who else was driving into the sad, little town where nothing happened. The last thing I needed was for him to catch even a whiff of what my plan was, so instead of turning toward town along with him, I allowed him to drive away as I continued on straight for a while longer, driving the familiar path to the woods that Harry led me to when we went shooting those couple of times.
I wasn't worried about losing Zander when I parked on the side of the road and made a u-turn. The town was so small, and I knew what his car looked like. All I had to do was find his car, and then I could find a way to make our meeting up seem accidental. All I had to do was start a conversation and begin to establish trust there. I had no doubt that Zander would easily fall for it. He didn't seem much like the thinking type.
I began my drive back to town, thinking about the last time Harry and I went out to shoot in the woods. I knew who he imagined when I taught him how to shoot. It didn't exactly take a genius to guess that Zander was the person who hurt him the most. It would take everything within me not to snap while talking to Zander. I had to seem something akin to friendly but not submissive or enthralled by him. He had to know that I would still keep him at a distance if I must. After all, you couldn't trust someone who was too trusting. Not completely.
I turned into the town's entrance, and I kept my eyes peeled for Zander's car as I drove. There really weren't many people in this small town. I wondered, briefly, how Zayn even found it. How the hell did he know to place me here? How did he even know this place existed if nothing ever happened?
The questions were racking around in my head as I drove through the town at a moderate speed, scanning the roads and parking lots ahead of me. Finally, I saw Zander's car right outside of the market, and I decided it may be a good thing. I did need to buy more toilet roll anyway.
I parked my car a few cars away from his before climbing out and walking into the store. I grabbed a small hand-held basket before walking down the aisles, appearing nonchalant but keeping a look out for the boy I was looking for.
I saw him within a moment's notice. He was standing in the chip aisle, looking through all of the options, and I wondered briefly if cocaine was the only drug he messed around with.
All I had to do was be in his line of sight.
I waited until he chose a bag of chips, and then I began to walk passed the aisle, looking straight ahead as I moved to where the toilet roll was located. My timing was impeccable, and I heard Zander call out my name before I heard his rushed footsteps to catch up to me.
"Louis," He repeated, joining my side and walking at my pace, which I purposely slowed for him. "Hey. I never heard back from you after you came to visit that one time," He said, trying to sound unbothered, but it was clear his ego was bruised, and I fought away the smile that threatened to form on my lips.
"I've been pretty busy lately. Harry's been scheduling longer hours at the shop," I lied easily, turning down the aisle I needed to be in, and Zander stuttered in his steps before following me.
"Ah, I see," He said, and I turned to him with a raised eyebrow at his tone. It was full of humor.
"What do you mean?"
"Harry," He replied, smiling widely. "If he's giving you more hours then he must want to spend more time with you. Clearly, he has a crush on you."
I shrugged my shoulders as I grabbed the package of toilet roll that I needed, and I felt Zander walk closer to me. I turned to look at him, seeing that he was a mere two feet away from me.
"Of course, I wouldn't say I blamed him for taking a liking to you. I mean, you are fucking hot," He drawled out, eyes skimming up and down my body. I wasn't exactly the jumpy type, but even if his actions didn't make me uncomfortable, they were still disgusting to me. "What are your thoughts of Harry?"
"I don't have any thoughts on Harry," I said, but even as I said the words, I began to realize that they were no longer one hundred percent true. It was that thought that made a burst of panic fill my chest. I had to do my best to school my features and appear unaffected.
"Did he tell you that we broke up?" He wondered, taking a step closer to me, and I shrugged passed him as I replied.
"He might've mentioned it."
Last I knew, Harry was rather unsure of their relationship status. It seemed troubling to him to not know where they stood, and I guess I could understand that. Even if he didn't have actual feelings for Zander anymore, not knowing something was frustrating. I could attest to that.
He wasn't even good enough to lead Harry on the way he seemed to be. Harry deserved to know where they stood.
Asshole.
"He's gorgeous, as I said, so that's not the problem. Just figured I'd rather have a little fun. I'm still young, and Harry's not exactly thrilling to be with," He said as he caught up to me again.
I wanted to laugh. This kid probably didn't know the first thing about thrills and rushes. The shit he was mixed up in could potentially be dangerous, but judging by the way he acted and spoke, I doubt he would be an inside man. If anything, he was only a dealer. He knew the basics and nothing more. Someone like him... it was too much of a risk to let him into the deeper end of the operations.
I felt him grab a hold of my arm by my elbow, and I had to go against my instinct-- which would be the turn around and punch him right in the face so he would let me go-- and restrain myself. Instead, I glared down at his hand on my arm and gathered my emotions before relaxing my expression and looking up at me, seeing him smirking at me.
"See, I like a challenge. And you," He said, taking a step closer to me and speaking in a lower voice, which I assumed was supposed to come off as seductive. It took everything I had within me not to laugh in his fucking face. "You are interesting."
"I take it you don't use that line often. Seems a little rusty," I said, smiling as his confidence wavered for a moment at the comment.
He was doing his best to flirt, and I recognized that, but he was failing big time. The most important part of flirting with someone was having them actually find you attractive, or at least appealing. Zander was neither.
"I get it. You're not the type to beat around the bush, and that's something that makes you so interesting. You don't sugar coat things lile everyone else in this town, and I admire that. If I'm being straight-forward, then I guess I'm wondering if you'd want to go out tomorrow night? There's not much to do in this town, but I bet we could find something." His hand reached out to cup my cheek, and I did all I could not to push him away. "Or we could just go back to my place," He smiled, and now it was my turn to finally act.
I broke out of his hold, rather easily, and took a step away. "No, thank you," I dismissed, watching as his face fell into a look of genuine surprise. It was almost laughable.
"Wha- I... are you dating somebody?" He wondered, seeming desperate now. This was who he truly was. He was a kid who pretended to act tough, but through that false confidence, he had no clue what he was doing. He thought drugs and shit made him seem cool, but it had the opposite effect, if anything.
"Dating? No," I laughed off. "I don't date."
"Ever? I mean... even I've dated people before. Are you, like, asexual or something?"
"I think you mean aromantic," I said with an eye roll. "I didn't say I don't sleep with people. I said I don't date. There's never been anyone I felt the need to be with that way."
As I continued walking toward the check out area, I thought about my own words. They were true. They were one hundred percent true, and I knew that. I knew that.
There has never been anyone who has interested me that way before. Perhaps it had something to do with my childhood, but romance didn't exactly come with my lifestyle. I didn't mind that fact because I knew that love was just bullshit. It wasn't real. Not romantic love, anyway. The only person I ever knew in my life that loved me, really and truly loved me, was my mother-- and she was gone.
No. Romance was a waste of time. It was idiotic and weak to allow someone into your heart; to toy with your emotions and have such power over you.
Still, even as I thought that I could see Harry's reserved smile in my mind. Brilliant and bright.
I let out a frustrated breath as I shook my head at the thought, missing something that Zander said. I looked at him in confusion, and he was quick to repeat himself.
"I said how do you know? How do you know you don't want to be with someone if you never give them a chance?" He wondered, and I was suddenly becoming irritated with him-- more so than I usually was in his presence.
I had to stay calm. I had to remember that I had a mission here.
Of course, I didn't expect to be invited to the bar the first time we spoke. No, this would be like reeling in a fish. I had to be strategical and patient, tempting him onto my hook. Then, once he took the bait, the rest would be easy.
"I guess I'm also looking for someone interesting," I commented, seeing a slight look of offense cross Zander's face.
"Am I not interesting? I'm surely a lot better than anyone in this town," He defended, stepping in front of me. He was burned from my comment, his ego rather bruised. It was frail like a peach.
I wanted to tell him that he was wrong. Because out of everyone in this town, he was the only person that I had fully figured out.
Joan was a strong woman, that much was obvious, and she was also rather protective of Harry. She was fierce in her loving, but there were still so many questions I had about her life-- not that I would ever ask because I didn't care all that much-- but she was still somewhat of a mystery.
Hell, even Mrs. Lane was a mystery! I didn't understand how a person could put so much love and affection towards a small animal that could hardly be called a dog. Wesley was more like an oversized rat, if anything. The dog probably couldn't hurt a fly. It was useless for defense.
The person who most interested me, however, was Harry.
It was another shocking thought, and I mentally cursed at myself. What was it about this day that was making me feel so weird and uncomfortable with my thoughts? Why couldn't my brain just turn off?
Even as I felt unsure of my thoughts, I knew it was true. Harry was interesting.
When I first met him, I thought I had him all figured out. He seemed like the type of person who revealed everything on the surface of their being, but I was naive back then. Harry has many layers to his personality and many mysteries to his past.
I remembered reading his file. There were so many questions I had while reading over it, but none of it mattered. I didn't care about his personal problems or his life story. All that mattered was my mission and receiving all of the information possible to complete it.
That's what I told myself anyway.
"Going on a date at some random place in this town isn't something I would call fun or interesting. When you find something that actually is, then maybe we could talk," I said, offering a forced smile before shrugging passed him again and walking toward the check out line. I went through the line, feeling Zander linger in the space behind me, and I paid for my item before walking out of the market and to my car.
Just as I arrived at my car and put my toilet roll inside, Zander was rushing up beside me once more.
"What if I said I knew a great place outside of town that we could go to? Would you find that interesting?" The look on his face was so hopeful, and I had to stifle my laughter by turning around and opening my car door.
"That depends. Is it your hotel?" I asked, making sure he wasn't pulling my leg.
Going on a date was the last thing I wanted to do with Zander, the first being punching him square in the fucking face for hurting someone so innocent and kind, but I would suck up my pride and hatred if it meant getting the job done.
"No," He assured, and I saw a light blush coat his cheeks.
This must be the lingered image of the Zander that Harry once knew. The one who he actually liked in high school-- before the secrets and the abuse and the drugs. But I still had to say that I didn't like what I saw.
"Then maybe I'll consider it," I said. I had to play my cards right here. Zander, no matter how tough he tried to seem, was like a kid wanting candy. I just had to dangle a little in front of him to get him to follow me.
"If you want to go, tomorrow night that is, then meet me at the town's exit sign at around eight. Is that okay?" He questioned, and I smirked, knowing that I was in control of this situation.
"Hmm. You might see me there," I said before I climbed into my car and started it, driving away before he could say anything else.
I drove back to the house I was staying in, parking my car and climbing out, grabbing my toilet roll on the way. I went to walk over to my house entrance, and I saw Harry walk outside of his house with some flower clippers, and I knew he was getting to work on his rose bushes. I wondered why he cared so much? What was still driving him?
I wondered how he would feel if he knew I was trying to pry information out of his ex-- if he ever found out they were broken up officially-- and if he would feel jealous at the thought of me dating his ex. Even if it was just for my mission. That was the person who abused him, and I was someone he actually trusted, for some reason.
I ignored my thoughts and avoided looking at him. Instead, I walked right passed him and into the house. I closed the door shut behind me and let out a sigh.
Since when did Harry turn from a nuisance to someone I actually wanted to know a bit more about?
Why did his presence make this mission feel a thousand times harder?
I had too many questions and not enough answers, but I knew one thing for sure. I could never let Harry know that I was hanging around Zander.