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❛ ᴏᴄᴇᴀɴ ᴇʏᴇꜱ. ❜ ° . ༄
- ͙۪۪˚ ▎❛ 𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍 ❜ ▎˚ ͙۪۪̥◌
»»————- ꒰ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴀɪʀ ꒱
❝ DON'T MOVE. MAYBE
HE DOESN'T SEE US ❞
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"'Good morning, John Adams High. After a ten-year absence, we've dusted off the console and put Patriot Radio back on the air!'" Mr. Feeny's voice greeted them over the loudspeakers. The sound effect of someone burping followed before music came on before he continued: "'and with me here is my engineer and wacky sidekick on the morning zoo, Mr. Alvin Meese.'"
"'Thank you, Mr. Feeny. You're a great friend to the radio—'" Juliet scowled slightly as Meese's voice followed, having not forgotten that he'd called her a cheater.
"'That's enough, Alvin. Nobody likes a mike hog,'" Mr. Feeny scolded him. "'And now, because the halls of our school beat with the lively heart of contemporary youth, here is the happening sounds of Mr. Michael Bolton.'"
Nature sounds followed this announcement and caused all the students in the vicinity to cover their ears.
"Ah! Make it stop! Make it stop!" Cory yelled to Shawn.
"It's not so bad!" Juliet called over her own plugged ears.
"It's hard to cut the wires with a plastic spoon," Shawn said as he attempted to saw the wires with the utensil.
"Just rip the whole speaker down!" Cory exclaimed.
"Hey guys, try this knife," a voice spoke over the complaints.
"Thanks," Shawn replied, taking it. Then the three of them froze and turned to look at who it was. The sight of Mr. Turner had them gasp and point in unison.
"Down," Mr. Turner commanded the boy and Shawn reluctantly stepped down. "Come on, guys. The station's only been on for five minutes. Is it really that bad?"
"And now for a little change of pace. A blast from my past, this is Mr. Perry Como," Mr. Feeny's voice returned before classical music played.
"Look, Mr. Turner, you clip the wires and we'll cover for you," Cory tried to convince him.
"You don't like what you hear? Get on the air and do better," Mr. Turner suggested.
"Us? On the radio?" Shawn asked as the trio followed their teacher.
"Yeah, see if you can't squeeze it in between doing nothing at school and doing nothing at home."
"Ouch, Mr. Turner," Juliet huffed.
"What are you saying? That we don't do anything?"
"You know, we should think about that," Cory said.
"I don't wanna," Shawn objected.
"No, Shawn, maybe he's got a point. I mean, maybe if we became radio personalities then we'd have. . . personalities."
"I don't wanna do nothing," the dark-haired boy said petulantly.
Juliet rolled her eyes. "Shawnie, it's just us sitting around and talking."
"Like we are now?" he asked.
"Yeah."
"Maybe you have to push a button," Cory put in.
"How hard?"
The curly-haired boy demonstrated the motion. "Like this."
Shawn copied him. "Hm?"
Cory joined in on the movements, using his own finger to pretend to push button. The pair turned to look over at Juliet for approval. As she gave them a (sarcastic) thumbs up, Mr. Turner gave a sigh of exasperation. "Are you kidding me?"
"Okay, we'll do it," Cory decided.
"We're naturals."
"It's the only thing that doesn't need talent," Juliet added under her breath.
"I've got a radio voice," Cory boasted.
"And I've got a radio face," Shawn said.
Juliet opened her mouth to correct him before she paused, shook her head, and closed it again. He was lucky he was cute.
"So, when can you get us on the air?"
"If you guys are serious about this I'll ask Mr. Feeny after lunch," their teacher told them.
Mr. Feeny's voice crackled over the speaker: "'and now for you kids, Menudo.'"
The redhead crossed her arms and gave Mr. Turner an amused look. "You were saying?"
"I'll talk to him right now."
🌎🌎🌎
The trio replaced Mr. Feeny and Alvin easily. The three of them were now sitting in the small studio in their usual set up with Cory first, then Juliet, then Shawn. The girl they were interviewing, Sara, was sitting a few inches away from the group and she wasn't bothering to hide the bored expression on her face.
"Hi, I'm Cory Matthews along with Shawn Hunter and Juliet Capelwood and we're back with the most interesting topic they would give us: meet your student council. Our guest today is Sara Fairburn, secretary-treasurer of your student council. According to Mr. Feeny's program log we'll be discussing the cancellation of the ninth-grade spring dance. Now, Sara, I imagine there's quite a story here," Cory prompted her.
"No, we just ran out of money so we're gonna have a bake sale and try to save our dance," the girl replied.
"Ah! Fascinating, go on."
"That's about it."
"Come on, what are you hiding?" Cory pushed.
"Stop badgering her," Shawn scolded him.
The boy covered the mic. "I gotta badger her. We got nothing else to talk about."
"Ugh, this show stinks," Shawn complained as he folded his arms on the table and buried his head in them.
Juliet sighed as she placed her elbow on the table and rested her chin on her fist. "Mr. Feeny's classical music was more interesting than this," she said in agreement.
"Now, Sara, you mentioned a bake sale. What is the profit margin on a cupcake?" Cory questioned her in a futile attempt to make things more entertaining.
"Uh, what are you talking about?" Sara asked.
"Shawn, help me! Shawn— Juliet!" the curly-haired boy poked the redhead, causing her to flinch.
She gave him an annoyed look before she shook Shawn's shoulder. If she had to be up then so did he. The boy jerked as if he'd been sleeping and sat up quickly. "Oh. Oh, Julie. I dreamed that Cory was doing the most painfully boring radio show in the world." He pointed to their guest. "And you were there, and you— oh."
"This is more like a nightmare," Juliet grumbled.
"Alright, now let's hear what you, the listeners, think. Call us. Now. Please?"
When none of the lines lit up, Shawn tried to stand as he said, "no one's calling. Let's go home."
Juliet caught his wrist and looked up at him pleadingly. "Don't leave me here!"
That was enough to make him sigh and return to his seat as Cory continued to ask Sara questions. "No. Sara, a bake sale has a dark side, doesn't it? I mean fat. Cholesterol. What about that?"
"I don't know. I'm just a kid."
"Does she not know? Or choose not to know?"
"You know, no one else wanted to do your show," Sara commented.
"Cory. Cory, Cory— we have a call," Shawn said eagerly. The curly-haired boy quickly pressed the button.
"Hello, you're on the air." He paused as a man speaking in a foreign language answered. "I'm sorry, sir. I believe Ludwig and the German Hour follows us. Call back later."
"Can I go now?" Sara asked.
"Yeah, sure, what's the point?" Shawn sighed.
"No, stay," Cory countered.
That's when a blinking light caught Juliet's eye. "Hey— we have another call." She reached over to press the button.
"Hello, you're on the air," Cory said.
"'Hi, this is Spencer,'" the voice on the other side answered.
"Hallelujah," Juliet mumbled.
"Spencer! I believe you're a first-time caller on the show. Do you have a question for Sara?"
"'Yes, I do,'" Spencer answered. "'Sara, are you still going with Joey DeRuza?'"
"Why do you ask, Spence?"
"Sorry kids, but the topic is a bake sale," Cory interrupted him. "Dance salvation or death by cake."
Juliet didn't even need to look at Shawn before they— in unison— pushed Cory gently away from the table and grabbed the mic. Shawn spoke into it: "Sara, I believe the man asked you a question. How about an answer?"
"We broke up last week."
"'Well, I've liked you ever since last year and, um. . .'" the boy trailed off uncertainly.
Juliet's lips quirked up in a smile. That was just too cute. Into the mic, she said, "she's smiling, Spence. Continue."
"'So, I was thinking, uh. . .'"
"Come on, Spence. If you don't ask this red-hot babe out I will," Shawn commented. He winced as Juliet poked her finger into his side. The boy gave her a 'what?' look.
"'Are you doing anything this Friday?'"
"No! And I'd love to. I'll meet you at the soda machine right now," Sara said as she stood up and left quickly.
"Alright, we have a date!" the redhead cheered.
"Guys, no one's interested in this," Cory tried. "We promised Turner we'd stick to the topic."
"Cory, we hit on something that works. Look at the phone lines. They're blazing! People are listening to us," the dark-haired boy pointed out.
"Big deal, Shawn. A bunch of lonely guys are calling for a girl who's fixed up and gone."
"It's a huge deal," he countered.
"Well, I'm not gonna blow a career in radio for a bunch of lonely guys."
The door opened and five girls entered. "Are you guys on the radio?" asked the one in a pink dress.
Here we go, Juliet thought with an eye roll.
"Yes we are," Shawn answered cheerfully.
"Could we be on the radio too and talk to boys?"
"That's why we're here!" Cory said excitedly, and retook his seat as he turned on the mikes. "Cory, Juliet and Shawn back at you with. . . Lunchtime Lust."
"Let's meet our next contestant," Shawn said. "You are?"
"My name is Jasmine Fontana," the girl said into the guest mic.
"If it isn't, it should be," the boy commented. "We'll take the first three callers and hook one of you up with. . ."
"Jasmine Fontana."
"She sure is," both boys agreed.
🌎🌎🌎
"Not only does Jasmine pull straight As but she loves to fish wearing nothing but hip waders and a bikini top," Cory announced as if Jasmine were a product he was advertising.
"If this sounds like the girl for you, call us: Cory, Shawn and Juliet, the hottest show on the ra-di-o," Shawn finished.
"I really wish you'd leave my name out of that list," the redhead grumbled.
Shawn gave her a confused look. "Why? You're here."
She just shook her head as Cory turned to their current guest. "You know, Jasmine, a couple of these guys have asked me if you're a good kisser and right now I don't know what to tell them."
"Well, um. . . maybe I can help you." Juliet huffed at the girl's flirty tone.
"Well, maybe you could," Cory responded and he leaned forward. His path was interrupted by Mr. Feeny. "You know, you look different up close."
"Ludwig, take over. Schnell," he told the boy standing next to him.
"Ja, Herr Feeny," he answered.
Cory stood up. "Mr. Feeny, this is our show."
"Not anymore."
"Hello, it's Lunchtime with Ludwig. You may call up with your requests. I don't take them," the boy said into the mic.
"Out, come on."
The three of them filed out of the small space only to be greeted by a crowd in the hallway that clapped enthusiastically for them.
"See, Mr. Feeny? Everyone loves what we did," Cory tried to convince him.
"Not everybody. Consider your radio careers over."
Juliet crossed her arms and pouted slightly as their teacher walked away. "He can't shut us down that easily."
Both boys gave her a surprised look. "I thought you didn't like the show?" Shawn asked.
"I don't. It's degrading and dumb but I also don't like that Mr. Feeny just booted us out. No one even wanted his show."
Shawn couldn't help but grin as he casually threw his arm over the redhead's shoulders. "And that's why—" he paused as he caught himself. He'd almost been about to say 'I love you.' Instead, he changed it to: "we're best friends."
🌎🌎🌎
As the bell rang to signal the end of Mr. Feeny's class and the students hurriedly packed up their things to head to their next subject. Their teacher called after them: "oh, class, tomorrow we'll be discussing chapter twelve in your history books which would be. . . the Bill of rights." He sighed. "Oh, dear."
"Oh, the Bill of Rights from the good old Constitution," Cory said. "And what was that amendment that came first in the Bill of rights?"
"I don't recall but I bet Julie knows," Shawn answered.
"It was the freedom of speech. Isn't that right, Mr. Feeny?" the redhead asked sweetly.
"Yes," he answered quickly.
"Hey— isn't that the one where you can say whatever you want?"
"I do believe that is the definition of freedom," Juliet agreed cheerfully.
"Any kind of speech, right? Like in a newspaper, or TV, or— I don't know, a radio?"
"Yes, yes."
"Then something is just not making sense here, my friends," Cory said as he sat on the teacher's desk. The other two followed suit. "Weren't we just pulled off the air because of what we said?"
"Yes, we were. He says one thing and then he does another. He's being a hypochondriac," Shawn agreed.
Juliet leaned forward to whisper, "hypocrite."
"Hypocrite," the boy corrected himself.
"What you said over the airwaves was inappropriate," their teacher told them.
While Juliet couldn't help but agree, she kept silent as Shawn said, "well, according to this here Constitution, uh-uh."
"Come on, Mr. Feeny," Cory added. "Don't you believe in what you teach us?"
"Mr. Matthews, the rights of the Constitution were intended for those with a sense of responsibility— which I expected Miss Capelwood to have."
Juliet opened her mouth to defend herself but Cory stopped her by whispering: "he's just trying to stop us through you. Don't listen to him, Jules."
"Well, if it doesn't apply to us then why do we have to learn it?" Shawn asked.
🌎🌎🌎
"Hi guys," Jasmine from-the-radio greeted the trio. "I have to tell you this. All the girls in fifth-period gym were talking about your show in the locker room."
"Girls were talking about us in the girls' locker room? Just tell me— were the showers on?" Shawn asked before he ducked as Juliet swatted at him.
"Pig," she mumbled.
"When are you guys going to be on again?" Jasmine asked.
"Real, real soon," Cory promised before she walked away.
"We gotta get back on the air, man!" Shawn exclaimed. "How are we gonna get back on the air?"
"I dunno, guys. Mr. Feeny did have a point," Juliet tried, only for Cory to give her a despairing look.
"I told you not to let him get to you!"
"Come on, Julie. You can't say you weren't enjoying it," Shawn added.
The redhead sighed in exasperation. "I might as well to stop you from doing something even more stupid."
"That's the spirit," the dark-haired boy said with a grin.
"Okay," Cory began, "I'm thinking, I'm thinking." He paused before he exclaimed, "I got it!"
"What?" Shawn asked.
"We gotta get back on the air."
"That's not a plan, Cor," Juliet pointed out as Shawn cheered. "You're a genius!"
"I know!"
"That's why we make such a good team."
Juliet caught sight of their English teacher as he walked by them. "Hey, Mr. Turner."
"I don't know you," he answered without stopping.
Cory ran to catch up with him. "Oh, come on. What'd we do?"
"You upset the guy in charge. I mean, you know Feeny. He gave you responsibility and you guys abused it. Now you're gone," he answered.
"Yeah, but you're the faculty advisor. Come on, you put us on once, you can put us on again," Shawn pleaded.
"Now, why should I stick my neck out for you guys?"
"Because we're you're favorites?" Cory asked.
"Try again, Matthews."
"Because Juliet is your favorite?" the curly-haired boy guessed.
Mr. Turner glanced at the redhead. "Close, but no."
"Because you're the young, dedicated teacher who believes that kids deserve a second chance?" Cory tried.
"That's me?"
"Yeah, didn't you know?"
"Look, the only way you guys get back on the air is if I talk to Feeny."
"Yeah, like you can talk to Feeny. He doesn't think straight, Mr. Turner," Cory told him. "He doesn't even believe in the Constitution."
"Yeah, he totally ignores the first Commandment," Shawn added.
"Amendment," Juliet corrected him.
"Right. Amendment."
"Yeah, guys. Just chill out, okay? It can't happen without Feeny. Alright, now promise me you'll stay away from the radio station. Okay?"
The two boys nodded in agreement while the redhead was careful not to say anything. The last thing she wanted to do was break a promise to one of her favorite teachers so keeping quiet was better than going against her word.
Once he was gone, Cory turned to them. "Like talking to Feeny's gonna help. He's just not gonna listen to anybody."
"He's insane," Shawn agreed.
"You know, it's the three of us," Cory said. "If we're gonna get back on the radio we're gonna have to do it by ourselves."
"I agree."
The two boys turned to the redhead expectantly as she hesitated. Shawn wrapped an arm around the girl's shoulders. "C'mon, Julie. You know we can't do this without you," he pleaded.
It was very convincing. She sighed. "Fine. But if we get in trouble, it's on you."
"Okay, okay," Cory agreed dismissively.
"We're gonna need a lot of help," Shawn added. "Alvin!" he called to the boy as he passed. "Tell me something, Alvin. You basically put the radio station together, right?"
"It's my baby," he answered.
"Well, Pop, let's go see how Junior's doing."
🌎🌎🌎
The trio plus Meese were now crammed into the Janitor's closet with the radio equipment.
"Good morning John Adams High!" Cory called into the mic. "This is Cory."
"And Juliet," the redhead added.
"And Shawn!"
"The bad guys are back on the air!" the three of them cheered in unison.
"They tried to silence us but we're back and we're louder than ever!" Cory said as the two boys howled.
"You're listening to Pirate Radio," Juliet finished once they'd quieted.
"Mr. Feeny wanted us to talk about the spring dance— we'll do him one better. We'll give you a spring dance!" Cory shouted.
"Right here, right now. Come on everybody, dance!" Shawn exclaimed as Juliet picked a far better song to listen to than any of Mr. Feeny's choices.
"Let's start a Bill of Rights for students and the first Amendment will be the right to dance."
"Anytime, anywhere," Shawn added.
"You can here us but you can't see us," Cory taunted their teacher. "Where are we?"
"Nope, keep looking. No telling where we could be," Shawn said. "Hey— did you check the boy's room?"
"Like you'd catch me dead in there," Juliet answered, rolling her eyes.
"Pirate Radio is being brought to you by the Constitution of the United States of America."
"Void where prohibited by Feeny."
"Our next musical selection is—" Juliet paused. "Shawnie, where'd you put the tapes?"
"Behind the bucket of janitor's mops," he answered before he squeezed his eyes shut. "Oh!"
The redhead gave him a 'really?' look as Cory tried to cover for them: "or is that a fake clue because we couldn't possible be that stupid?"
He barely got to finish his sentence when the door opened to reveal Mr. Feeny. "Oh, I think you're much more stupid than you give yourselves credit for."
"Don't move. Maybe he doesn't see us," Shawn whispered.
🌎🌎🌎
Mr. Feeny ushered the trio roughly into the radio room. "Mr. Turner, here are your protegees. You would assume responsibility for them, assume away. Ludwig?"
The German boy stood up. "It was terrible, Mr. Feeny. I am not accustomed to being so ill-used."
"Yes, well, you're young yet," the older man replied as he led the boy out.
"So, you catch our show?" Cory asked the remaining teacher.
When he nodded, Shawn added, "you got any constructive criticism?"
"Constructive? No."
"Look, we just wanted to get back on the radio," Juliet tried.
"And you thought this was the way to go about it as opposed to— oh, I don't know— the way we agreed on?"
Shawn scoffed. "Oh, come on, Mr. Turner. There's no way Feeny was gonna listen to you."
"Amazingly, he did listen to me," their teacher countered, "and he was on the verge of giving you guys a second chance. Then you demonstrated why you didn't deserve it."
"Alright, then, all we were doing was exercising our right to free speech," Cory answered.
"Oh, come on. The First Amendment does not give you the right to turn the school into a rave. You have responsibilities. Responsibilities to the school and to me," Mr. Turner said.
"Look, Mr. Turner—"
"No, save it. We had a deal. Now, why was it so important for you to get back on the air that you were willing to shaft me?" he asked as he sat down.
"You wouldn't understand," Shawn mumbled.
"Pretend I'm stupid."
Shawn sat and spoke slowly: "we. . . went. . . on. . . the. . . radio—"
"Pretend I'm smarter."
"Look, Mr. Turner," Shawn began. "We're just trying to find our place. You know we're only seventh graders."
"But you're students. Isn't that enough?"
"C'mon, you remember what it's like," Cory said.
"Yeah," the redhead agreed quietly. "Everybody seems to know who they are and where they belong, but for us? We're a bunch of nobodies."
"And you thought being on the radio would help you?" Mr. Turner asked.
"Yeah, I mean, if we're on the radio and everyone thinks we're cool then we don't get lost in the shuffle," Cory explained.
"You feel lost?" their teacher asked as Cory and Juliet nodded. "What about you?"
"Yeah, sometimes," Shawn admitted.
"You know what? I bet a lot of people feel that way."
"Well, maybe they do but I'm sure they don't want to talk about it."
"Oh, I'm sure they do," Mr. Turner countered.
"How do you know?"
"Look at all of the calls we have already." He pointed to the phones.
"We're on the air?" Cory demanded.
Juliet gave their teacher a wide-eyed look as her face flamed red from embarrassment.
"Someone must've turned on the switch accidentally."
"They heard all of that?" she asked nervously.
"Yeah," he laughed. "See guys, you don't have to do Lunchtime Lust just to get an audience. All you have to do is be honest. People will listen to that, too." He leaned over and answered one of the callers. "Hello, you're on the air."
"'Yes, I'm a first-time caller,'" Mr. Feeny's voice answered. "'Love the show.'"
"You have a question?"
"'More of a comment, really. I thought you did a commendable job of handling a rather difficult situation.'"
"Thank you, caller."
"'And I do have a question,'" Mr. Feeny continued. "'I'm curious as to what you think the appropriate punishment would be for your three guests?'"
Mr. Turner turned to the group. "I'm thinking a week's detention."
"'Couldn't quite hear that, seems to be some static on the line.'"
"A month's detention."
Juliet sighed but she knew they deserved it. Mr. Feeny agreed. "'Loud and clear.'"
"Well, now you know one man's opinion. Let's hear from some other listeners," Cory answered one of the phones and another recognizable voice answered.
"'I say lock 'em up and throw away the key!'"
The redhead couldn't help but grin as Cory rolled his eyes. "Get off the phone, Eric."
"Guys, trust me. You got off easy. There's a lot worse that could've happened to you," Mr. Turner said.
The German boy appeared in the door again, this time accompanied by two adults. "That is them, father. The two American boys who tried to tie me up."
Juliet smirked as she relaxed in her chair. "He said two American boys."
[written dec. 2020]
[edited may 2022]