Kabanata 56:
Use
"Who would have thought I'll let you sat inside my car?"
"I just don't have a choice but to sit here. Pinilit ko lang ang sarili ko."
"I'll make sure I'll go to the car wash tomorrow and ask for them to clean this properly. Your smell will sting my car." I heard someone said it as a scoffed.
I heard someone chuckled but without humor.
"You talk like a spoiled brat teenage girl who's nagging about her branded bag that got stained because of her friend." a familiar voice laugh.
I heard the other one cursed under his breath.
"Don't expect I'll even drive you to your home. Umuwi ka mag-isa." mariin na sabi ng isa.
"I don't want to ride your car either. I better ride tricycle than this. Your exterior suck."
"Say anything again and I'll throw you outside." a male voice warned and the other one just chuckled.
Naalimpungatan ako sa usapan nila. Ni hindi ko namalayan na nakatulog na pala ako. Nasaan ba ako? Nasa resto pa rin? But I can heard car engines, beeps and different noises that make me know that I'm outside. Nakaupo ako at ramdam ang malambot na kung ano sa likod.
I slowly open my eyes and my vision was blurry at first. Kinusot ko ang mga mata at dahan dahan iyong luminaw. I found out I was inside a car. A car that I've never saw before. Napahawak ako sa seat belt at nakita ko ang dalawang pamilyar na lalaki na nakaupo sa harap kaya napag-alaman kong nasa back seat ako.
Nagpapalitan sila ng salita. Hindi ko alam kung nagtatalo ba sila. Mariin ang bawat bigkas at pagpapakawala nila ng salita pero kalmado ang mga kilos. Simple lang silang nakaupo at nakasandal sa upuan.
Humikab ako at tuluyan nang nagising. Pero nanatiling nakahilig ang likod ko sa backrest ng upuan. Kuwai is in the driver seat, he's precisely maneuvering the steering wheel. While Helix is in the shot gun seat. He's calm as he look straight at the road.
I can't see their expression since their back were facing me but I can feel the tension between them. I sigh. I don't even know why I am suddenly here with this two. Nakatulog ba ako at napagpasyahan na ihatid na?
Gusto ko pa sanang tulungan si Skio sa pagligpit. Pagod na ang lahat. Sana ay tulungan siya ng iba na naiwan roon. I look at the car window and I saw the street lights, car lights, and the moon. Even at night, I can still see an art.
Bahagyang nawala ang pagod ko sa saglit na pag-idlip. Tumingin ako sa lugar sa labas at nakita na malapit na kami sa apartment.
"Letting you here inside is worst than having my car a scratch." Kuwai said in a stern voice and my forehead creased.
"I'd rather choose to ride a rusty bike than your car."
"You just can't say my car is better than yours." Kuwai countered and I heaved a sigh.
This two.
They're like in a debate. Or a two lawyers in a court who's both persistent to win the case.
"I don't care if your car cost expensive than mine, at least I had Raiven inside my car numerous times. You? Ito pa lang ba ang unang beses?" Helix retorted and Kuwai went silent.
Natigilan rin ako roon. Doon ko napagtanto na oo nga. Ito pa lang ang unang beses. I had always been in Xerox, Light or Helix's car.
Hindi agad nakapagsalita si Kuwai roon. Nakita ko sa rearview mirror na umangat ang sulok ng labi ni Helix. Mukhang hindi nila napapansin na gising na ako at nakikinig sa bangayan nilang dalawa.
"Who cares if she's been on your car numerous times? I'm still ahead to you since I had ki---" my eyes widen on what he was about to say before he can even drop and reveal it, I called his name.
"Kuwai!" I said in panic and he was started in my sudden call. He step on the break and I gasped as the car stop suddenly and there was a strong force. Ang katawan namin ay parang natulak at mabilis na hinatak pabalik.
Ang sakit ng dibdib ko!
I clutch my chest and I whimpered a bit. I heard their both exasperated breathe.
"Tangina na naman Kuwai!" si Helix na agad siyang sinanghalan. Mabilis na lumingon sa akin ang dalawa.
"Damn, I'm just surprised!" Kuwai defended and they're both look at me with worry.
"Ayos ka lang, Raiven?" si Helix.
"Are you okay?" Kuwai said and I took a deep breath I nod my head.
"I'm fine. Drive now, there's a car behind us." I said to Kuwai and he look hesitant to left his gaze on me but he just sigh as a submission and focus on driving again.
"Sorry." he said as he manuevered the car. Helix eyes remained on me.
"Ayos lang ako." sabi ko at hindi siya nagsalita.
"Sorry, nagising ka ba namin?" ani Helix at hindi ko alam kung iiling o tatango ako roon. Sa huli ay nagsalita na lang ako.
"Uh naalimpungatan siguro. Okay lang, hindi ko naman talaga balak na matulog na ng diretso."
"Right, hindi ka pa kumakain." Helix said.
"Nagpadala ng pagkain si Skio. I think it's enough for a five person." si Kuwai.
"Kung ganoon ay sa apartment na lang tayo kumain." I don't know why they're both look at each other and snorted. Parang ang init ng dugo nila sa isa't-isa.
Nang huminto na kami sa apartment ay kinuha ko na ang susi para mabuksan iyon. I let them step inside as I closed the door. My apartment has an enough space but I suddenly feel it was tiny when I was left alone with this two virile greek god.
I lock the door since nakasanayan ko na iyon. Hawak ni Kuwai ang keyfob at pagkain na pinauwi ni Skio. Napakabait talaga ni Skio at nagpauwi pa siya. I'll text him later to thank him. Hindi man lang ako nakapagpaalam sa kanya at nakatulog na agad.
Hinintay nila akong dalawa at ako na ang nauna patungo sa kusina. I turn on the lights and Kuwai immediately prepared the food for us. Habang si Helix ay kumuha ng mga plato at kubyertos. Umawang ang labi ko, sila ang bisita pero sila pa ang kumililos.
"Uh maupo na kayo, ako na---" but my words was cut by the two of them.
"Maupo ka na lang Raiven, you're tired. Kami na ang kikilos."
"You can take a seat here." Kuwai pulled a chair of me. Sumuko na lang ako at umupo na katulad ng gusto nila. Helix huff and I just watch them prepared the table. Nagtimpla ng juice si Kuwai while Helix place the plates, spoons and fork.
I'm amuse that they're this flexible. Alam ko rin naman na pagod kami pare parehas. Sa tingin ko mas pagod silang dalawa. Maghapon yatang nakatayo si Helix para magserve, pabalik balik at nag break lang saglit para kumain.
While Kuwai, was outside for the whole day. Hindi biro ang magdrive buong hapon, bababa pa para magbigay ng order. Kalaban niya pa ang mainit na panahon tas babalik pagkatapos at aalis muli. Nakokonsensiya ako pero hindi naman nila gustong pakilusin ako.
Nasa harap nila akong dalawa ng magsimula na kaming kumain. I still can't believe that I'm having a dinner with this two. Hindi ako masyadong gutom pero natatakam na ako sa pagkain.
"Let's eat." aya ko sa kanila.
So after I pray, I start eating. I gasped when I taste the food. Isa ako sa tagaluto ni Skio pero mukhang ang pagkaing ito ay wala sa ginawa ko. Mukhang siya ang gumawa nito, his own recipe of roasted chicken. Bahagya iyong maanghang pero nakakaya ko naman. It taste so good.
I was chewing my food when I glance at the too. Bigla akong napalunok ng mapansin na hindi pala sila kumakain at nakatitig lang sa akin. Nahinto tuloy ako.
"Bakit?" I ask and they both averted their gaze. Humawak na ng kubyertos at nagsimula na ring kumain. I wrinkled my forehead. Napailing na lang ako at bahagya pang natawa sa kanila.
After we ate, hindi ko na sila hinayaan pa na kumilos. Gusto kong ako na ang magligpit ng pinagkainan dahil saglit naman na akong nakapagpahinga.
"Ako na ang maghuhugas Raiven." suhestisyon ni Helix na mabilis kong tinanggihan.
"I'll wipe the table and clean this mess." Kuwai said and I shook my head.
"No, ako na. Umupo kayo riyang dalawa at magpahinga. Hindi na ako pagod, nakapagpahinga ako. Habang kayo wala pa." pinal kong sabi at nang maramdaman nilang wala na silang magagawa ay sumuko na sila.
So I wash the dishes as they're both sat on the seat behind me, kinontento na lang ang sarili sa pagtunghay sa akin. Naging tahimik ang paligid habang naghuhugas ako. After I wipe all the plates, spoon and fork, I turned to them.
"Sabay na lang kayong umuwi at ihatid mo si---" naiwan sa ere ang boses ko at dahan dahan iyong naging mahina ng makitang nakasalampak na pareho ang mukha nila sa lamesa at tulog.
Napangiti ako bigla at naging dahan dahan ang pagpunas ng mga kamay. Their eyes were closed and they shoulder is moving slowly. I can heard their steady breathe. I bit my lower lip.
I never saw Kuwai this calm and I never saw Helix sleeping peacefully. Huminga ako ng malalim at naging tahimik ang pagkilos para malinis ang lamesa. After I clean the table, inisip ko kung kaya ko ba silang buhatin pareho.
Kinuha ko ang braso ni Helix muna at inalalayan siya papasok sa kabilang kwarto. Ang bigat niya. Sa tangkad niya ba naman at katawan na ito ay hindi na ako roon nagtataka. Malalim na ang pagtulog niya na hindi na namalayan ang pagbuhat ko.
I smiled as I laid him in the bed and I fix the comforter. Pagkatapos ay si Kuwai naman ang binuhat ko, halos hindi ako makahakbang sa pagbubat sa kanya. When I laid him beside Helix, I'm panting to breathe!
Damn, he's heavy!
Inayos ko silang dalawa sa kama. Hindi ko na nabihisan, una dahil wala akong damit na panlalaki na ibibihis sa kanila, pangalawa, baka magising sila, pangatlo at huli, baka hindi ko kayanin lalo na at dalawa pa sila.
I giggled lowly as I fix the blanket in both of them. Magkatabi sila sa kama. Mabuti at nagkasya naman sila rito. They're both sleeping silently and their face were in a soft expression.
Ang tigas pa ng ulo, pagod na pala.
Nag-aaway pa kayong dalawa, bagsak naman kayo ngayon sa iisang kama. A smiled crept into my lips as I look at Kuwai and Helix.
"Good night." I said softly as I turned off the lights of the room. Ang tanging naiwan ay ang dim lights mula sa lamp shade. I giggled as I think of their reaction tomorrow.
Hmm, I hope they wouldn't strangled each others to death when they found out that they slept in one bed together.
I turned off the lights in my room and I limp my body in the bed. I immediately drift into sleep.
"What the actual fuck?!"
"Holy shit! What are you doing here?!" nagising ako sa malakas na pagkalabog sa kabilang kwarto at ang mararahas na mga salita na iyon mula sa pamilyar na tinig. Pagkabukas ko ng mata ay malabo pa iyon.
I groaned and adjust my vision. Kaso biglaang nanlaki ang mata ko ng maalala ang sitwasyon sa kabilang kwarto.
Si Helix at Kuwai nga pala!
I immediately stood up before they can even kill each other. Nahilo pa ako sa biglaang pagbangon at mabilis na binuksan ang pinto. Rinig ko ang mariin nilang palitan ng mga salita at umaangat ang sulok ng labi ko.
Inaasahan ko na itong reaksiyon nila pero nagugulat pa rin ako. Inilang hakbang ko ang kwarto nila at pinihit ang seradura.
"Why are you laying beside me?!"
"I don't know! The fuck. As if I want to lay beside you!"
Ang nagbabaga nilang mga mata at madidilim na ekspresyon ang bumungad sa akin. Humalukipkip ako. Sa tingin ko ay alas syete pa lang ng umaga.
I cleared my throat to stop them on debating this early in the morning. Mabilis silang napalingon sa akin at natigilan. I closed my eyes a bit and when I open it I look at them.
My breathing hitched.
Helix hair was a bit messy and his shirt was a bit crumpled. His eyes were soft and a bit irritated. I gasped, he look so hot early this morning! I can see a smoke embracing his body.
While Kuwai's hair is disheveled too, there are some strands that laying in his forehead. His shirt was rumpled. Namumungay pa ang mga mata at maaliwalas ang mukha. I gulped, his tone chest muscles were visible on his shirt.
Bahagya akong nawala sa wisyo at ayos dahil sa bumungad sa akin. They were staring too at me. Muli akong tumikhim.
"You can't do anything stupid inside my apartment. You're free to come out if you want to beat each other." sabi ko at nagpapasalamat na diretso ko iyong nasabi kahit na nakaharap sa akin ang dalawang lalaking ito.
They took a deep sigh.
"I won't Raiven. I know your rules, I've been in your apartment numerous times anyway." si Helix at hindi ko alam kung may pinaparinggan ba siya dahil ang tono niya ay mariin. Nagsalubong ang kilay ni Kuwai pero tumaas rin ang sulok ng labi kalaunan.
"I won't mess your room. Since I had always been staying her for dinn---"
My eyes widen on Kuwai's words.
"L-Let's eat breakfast! Tara na! Today is the day two of Skio's opening." pagpigil ko kay Kuwai sa akma niyang sasabihin. Lumingon sa kanya si Helix at pinandilatan ko siya ng mata. He smirk evilly and I want to smack that humor on his face.
"Okay, I better need to take a bath first since Helix smell is stinging." Helix arch a brow.
"Sino kaya ang nangyakap habang natutulog ako?" asik ni Helix at namilog naman ang mga mata ko roon.
"Y-You hug Helix?" I gasped in desblief. Kuwai face crumpled and before I can completely tease him, he immediately turned his back to walk towards the restroom.
I bit my lower lip, Helix and I burst in laughing after he closed the door.
Naging abala muli kami para sa pangalawang araw, bukas ay Lunes na kaya paniguradong hindi na kami makakapunta rito. Skio already said that he hired some men already. Nakita ko iyon roon sa resto niya. Wala na kaming promo dahil sa unang araw lang iyon.
Hindi na lahat ng last section ay narito, ang iba ay may mga lakad sa araw ng Linggo kaya hindi na naka attend pa. Ayos lang naman at naiintindihan namin.
"Sayang wala ng promo. Ganado pa naman ako kahapon." Xerox said while he's rotating in the swivel chair. Kumunot ang noo ko sa kanya.
"You perv! Iyon lang siguro ang pinunta mo rito!"
"Nah, syempre libre rin pagkain. Saka free sightseeing ng mga costumer." ngumisi siya at napailing na lang ako.
"Bakit Raiven hindi ka ba sumusulyap sa mga gwapo rito?" everyone look attentive as they turned their head on me. I frown.
"Tinitignan ko na nga kayong lahat, hindi pa ba iyon sapat?" I ask and I smiled sweetly before I turned my back to walk towards the kitchen. Leaving them in awe.
"May bibigay ka sa akin?" tanong ko kay Skio. Kinamot niya naman ang batok at kilay bago tumango. Hindi ko alam kung bakit umaakto siyang nahihiya siya sa akin.
"Sayang nauhanahan ako ni Pierce pero sana tanggapin mo." he said and handled me a small square box. I arch a brow.
"Are you proposing?" biro ko at siya naman ang kumunot ang noo. Pagkatapos ay bumalanghit ng tawa.
"Damn, Raiven hindi. Gusto ko pang mabuhay." hindi ko nakuha ang sinabi niya pero napailing siya. I chuckled.
"Kidding, but seriously I'm not proposing. Meron tamang tao para gawin iyan." napaayos naman ako ng tayo at bago pa may sumagi sa isip ko ay pinilig ko na ang ulo.
"What is this?" I ask and he give me the box.
"Open it." he said. Tinanggap ko iyon at dahan dahan binuksan. Sumilip at samalubong sa akin ang isang olive left earings. My mouth parted as I read it expensive brand. Kaparehas ng kay Pierce pero iba ang disenyo.
My eyes widen and I look back at Skio who's smiling now.
"P-Para saan 'to?"
"Pasasalamat."
"Sa tingin ko ay sobra 'to Skio. Hindi ko ito matatanggap." sinarado ko iyon at nilahad muli sa kanya pero marahan niyang tinulak iyon pabalik sa akin.
"Nah, this is really for you Raiven. I'm giving you this with no malice attach. That's a friendly gift for my gratitude. So please, accept it." aniya at muli akong natigilan. Napatitig sa box.
"This is quite pricey."
"I know because you deserve something bizarre." then he smiled at me. My heart flutter and the side of my lips curl up too.
"I'm still hesitating to accept it. How about your girlfriend, why don't you give this to her?"
"Nah, I don't do girlfriends. And I'm not giving that kind of gift to a fling."
"Why?"
"I already told you that's a friendly gift. But if you'll give an earings to someone that has an affection to you, they will think that you want to spend the night with them." umawang ang labi ko roon.
"Oh." the only thing I could said.
"Who would spend a night to you Skio?" agad na nahinto ang pag-uusap namin ni Skio nang biglang sumingit si Xerox sa usapan. I immediately massaged my hair and his face crumpled.
"Nothing. Don't eavesdropped. Tsismoso." singhal ni Skio na pabiro at binalikan na ang niluluto niya. Habang sinilid ko naman ang box sa bulsa ng suot kong sweater.
"What are you hiding Raiven?" sabi ni Xerox at lumapit sa akin.
"Tara na sa labas." sabi ko at hinatak na ang braso niya pero hindi siya nagpaawat. Mas lalo siyang naging kuryoso.
"What is it? May tinatago kayong dalawa."
"That's no big deal." I said but he's really persistent that he tried to get the box in the pocket of my sweater. Namilog ang mga mata ko.
"Patingin kasi!"
"Tumigil ka nga! You're crumpling my sweater!"
"Punitin ko pa iyan eh."
"Anong pupunitin Skio?" a cold and stern voice illuminated the room. Xerox suddenly stiffened. His body stilled and he didn't move. Napalingon ako sa nagsalita at nakita ang matalim at madilim na mga mata ni Kuwai.
I swallowed.
Dahan dahang lumayo sa akin si Xerox. My forehead creased when he walk pass by Kuwai like a robot. I look at Kuwai, confuse and he arch a brow.
"Fix your strap." Kuwai said in a snob way. Nagtaka ako sa sinabi niya noong una pero napalingon sa suot ko. My cheeks flushed so bad when I notice that the strap of the spaghetti top under my sweater that I'm wearing went down to my arm. Mabilis ko iyong inayos at sinara na ang sweater.
Kuwai just snorted and left.
"Here's the result of your investigation." I am here again in Silverio's dark office. The eerie and solemn aura of this office won't never change. But I get used to it that I didn't shiver or flinch slightly.
May nilahad siya sa aking brown envelope. Nakangisi siya katulad ng madalas niyang ekspresyon na pinapakita sa akin. Nang tanggapin ko iyon ay hindi ko alam kung bakit ako naguguilty.
This is actually the real reason why I step in that school despite my anxiety, but then why I feel so guilty. Like I'm using them because of my reason. Hindi naman ganoon ang ginagawa ko, I am so glad that I meet the last section.
Huminga ako ng malalim bago buksan ang envelope. I saw a papers and I glance at Silverio who's just watching me. Kinuha ko iyon at bahagyang nanginig ang mga kamay. Hindi ko alam, but Skio is an orphan he has the possibility that he's....
"Negative." my thoughts immediately stop when I read the result on the last line at the end of the paper. Ang pinipigilan kong paghinga ay kumawala at naging maluwag. Napahilig ako sa back rest ng swivel chair.
Damn. I don't know if I would be happy or what to knew this result.
"Dalawa na ang negatibo ang resulta. Pierce Jameson Azcarraga and Skiterio Edcel Gadvilao. The two were out of your list now." sabi ni Silverio at nanliit ang mata sa akin habang nagsasalita.
Huminga ako ng malalim. I didn't respond because I'm thinking something.
"You have remaining eight profiles to investigate and find the true heir. Do you think you can made it in time?"
"I can make it."
"Really? Raiven it seems that you're wasting time. Dalawang buwan at kalahati na ang lumipas pero dalawa pa lang ang naiimbestigahan mo. You're wasting time. I knew that you can do this in just a short period of time, so why are you taking this long?" he tilted his head.
"What's with the rush? balik kong tanong. He put the stick of cigarette in his mouth and puff a smoke in his nose. Lumayo ako sa kanya.
"The day of succumbing is near, you knew that if you take this long, you'll take the consequence."
"Who cares? Don't meddle with my way. I'm doing this mission on my own."
"Oh? Or you've been close to them that's why you don't want to end this easily so you can spend your remaining time with them." nag-ngitngit ang ngipin ko sa sinabi niya. Hindi ko alam kung natamaan ba ako roon, but I feel like I recieved a blow in my chest that it ache a bit.
I took a deep breath. Humalakhak si Silverio na para bang ang inaasahan niyang makikitang reaksiyon sa mukha ko ay nangyari. Kumuyom ang kamao ko.
"Shut up! This mission is not easy."
"Not easy or you don't want to let go of them? Hmmm?" I rolled my eyes at him.
"I want to strangle your neck so bad.." I said and he laugh again that it echoed on the whole room.
"I knew your ability. You can finish this in a snap and yet you still have eight remaining profile. Do you forgot your reason why are you doing this Raiven? To save---"
"I know. You don't need to tell me anymore." tumayo na ako. There is no sense to talk to him anymore. Kailangan ko ng umalis.
"Where's the earrings?" I ask and the side of his lips curl up. Tinitigan niya ako bago may kinuha sa drawer niya ang isang maliit na box container.
I open it and I sigh in relief when I saw the earings that Pierce and Skio gave to me. There's a little kick of bitterness in the end of my tongue. My chest tightens as I hold and caress it again.
"You're treasuring them huh, I thought you'll just throw that piece of shit after I use that to confirm if they really the---"
"Fucking shut up!" mariin kong sinabi. He looks a bit taken aback on what I said. Tumalikod na ako at ramdam ko ang madilim na ekspresyon sa mukha ko.
"Hmmm, don't forgot what would happened if you didn't find the real heir Raiven. You won't never see them again." I slammed the door so I can't heard what he's saying but it still linger on my ears.
Nanghihina akong napasandal sa pader na nasa gilid ng pinto. I'm panting to breath because of my tight chest. My eyes heated. Nanginginig ang mga kamay ko na binalik ang earrings mula kay Pierce at Skio sa tenga ko.
My tears trickle down my cheeks and I bit my lower lip to suppress my sob.
Tangina.
Hindi ko naman sila ginagamit. Fuck, I won't never do that to them. I'm helping them not because of this reason, but because I'm willingly want to do it. They're all my friends. Pero bakit pakiramdam ko kahit iyon naman talaga ang nasa kalooban ko at kahit kumbinsihin ko ang sarili ko, may anggulo pa rin na nagsasabing ginagamit ko nga sila.
Their images suddenly flashes in my mind, I saw Pierce face in tears, I saw the sadness etched on Skio's face, I saw Light's gentle smile, I saw Xerox playful smirk, I saw Helix sincere smile, I saw Kuwai's dark eyes and I saw all of the last section playful expression.
A sob escaped on my lips and I cover it with my palm. Dahan dahan akong napaupo at napahilig sa pader. I closed my eyes tight.
I'm not using them. I didn't. I'll fucking kill myself if I did. I'm not fooling them, what I done is all true. Kung may lolokohin at gagamitin man ako, ang sarili ko lang.
But what I feel like I'm already fooling myself?