***Trigger warning: This chapter is emotionally heavy. Take care of yourself.***
*** Mick's POV ***
I'm leaving the brewery with a beautiful woman in my passenger seat. I keep glancing over at her.
"Eyes on the road, big boy." She advises authoritatively. But as she says it she reaches over and takes my hand. The smoothness of her skin, the way her fingers move over the back of my hand, the way the streetlights illuminate her face.
"You're making it really hard." I mutter.
"We're still talking about you keeping your eyes on the road and not your dick, right?" She jokes.
"Eh..." She shoves my shoulder and smiles at me. I shrug and lick my lips.
"Now who's making it hard?" She shifts in her seat. I can see her nipples are erect through her gauzy dress despite the fact that she wears a bra. It makes me wonder...
"Almost there." I say, assuring her as much as myself.
"You're taking me to yours? Is it safe?" She inquires.
"Safe?" I'm confused.
"Clean. Free of all remnants of your last fling?" She clarifies.
I get all high and mighty. "I'll have you know I was actually seeing someone for a couple of weeks. I was serious about her."
Stef frowns. "That's new. What happened?"
"She didn't like me being a dad." I say honestly.
"You hid it from her?" Stef asks.
I'm a bit offended. "Of course not. I'm a proud papa. She thought Trish was using me when she granted me a weekly overnight with Reilly. She didn't like that it was on my day off which would eat into her time."
We pull into my driveway. She leans into me, stroking her hand along my arm. I turn my head and look into her eyes. She so close I can smell her sweet and musky scent. She speaks softly. "If she can't accept your role as a father, she doesn't deserve you."
I sigh. I want to do this right with Stef. "I need to be honest with you. We literally broke up a couple days ago. I don't want you thinking you're a rebound."
Stef shrugs. "So what if I am, Mick? I can help you move on."
She runs her hand up along my bearded cheek and leans her breasts against me. As much as I want to take her right in that moment, something stops me. "No. I don't want a rebound and I already told you, no flings. I'm not asking for an all out committment, just a serious chance at something more long-term."
She looks thoughtful. "I told you earlier Mick, I'm in. I wouldn't have left my VW baby for anyone."
I wonder..."Are you telling me there was nothing wrong with your car?"
"Not this time." She confesses. I grip her face in my hands and kiss her deeply. She returns the kiss with fervor. We're getting into it, my hands twisted in her soft hair when my phone rings.
"What the...?" I bitch.
My "do not disurb" setting is on. My phone shouldn't be ringing. Unless...oh shit.
"I need to take this. I'm so sorry." I apologize.
"No worries." She settles back in her seat, but keeps my one hand inbetween hers. It's like she knows I may need her in that moment.
I answer the phone. "Trish, what's going on? Is Reilly okay?"
"Mr. Nichols. My name is Dr. Fitzroy. We need you to come to the hospital right away." An unfamiliar voice instructs me.
Tears spring to my eyes. It's a parents' worst nightmare. "My son...is he..."
I hear Stef gasp. She squeezes my hand. I'm frozen, unable to think, unable to move as I wait for the doctor's response.
"Your little one is perfectly fine. A real gem of a child." The doctor comments with a hint of sadness in her tone.
"And Trish?" I ask, unsure of whether I'm ready for this blow.
"Mr. Nichols, please. Just come to the hospital. I can't discuss Miss Willis's condition over the phone." She insists.
"Condition? What the fuck happened?"
"Your ex and Reilly were in a car accident. That is all I can say at this time. We need to release Reilly to his next of kin. Otherwise, we contact family services for temporary custodial care." The doctor explains the protocol.
"No no no." I can't let that happen. "I'll be there. I'm on my way now. Which hospital?"
She gives me the information. I numbly nod. I can't believe this is happening. My mind is racing, my stomach churns, I get this odd tunnel vision.
"Mick! Get the fuck out of the driver's seat. I'm driving." Stef's voice breaks through my fog.
"Yes." I almost collapse as I step foot outside of the vehicle. "I'm gonna puke."
I lean against the hood of the car with my arms extended. I dry heave a few times, but the bile at the back of my throat doesn't come up. I feel Stef's hands, rubbing my back. "Let's get to the hospital. They'll have more answers. I'm going to be right there with you."
I manage to stand and look at her through watery eyes. "Thank you, Stef."
We get in the car, her behind the wheel, and head for the hospital. I can't calm my spinning brain as I consider the possibilities.
"Mick, we're here. Do you want me..."
"Please come with me." I say in a small voice. She nods and takes my hand as we walk into the emergency room. We're shown to a waiting room. A few minutes later a petite doctor walks through the double doors. I stand and I feel Stef rise behind me. "Doctor, can I see Trish? Where's Reilly?"
"Mr. Nichols thank you for coming. Trish's mother is on the way too." She indicates.
"Please I can't wait. How bad is it?" I ask desperately.
"Trish suffered major head trauma among other things. She is in a persistent vegetative state." The doctor explains.
"Oh God! Okay, um, will she ever wake up?" Tears are steaming down my face. I did love Trish even though I cheated. I did love her even though she made my life hell, keeping me from my son. I feel Stef touch my arm gently.
The doctor's face is grim. "I'm sorry, Mr. Nichols. We are just waiting for the rest of her family to come say goodbye."
I crumble. Stef wraps her arms around me as I collapse in a heap, sobbing.
"I know this is a very difficult time, Mr. Nichols. Please take the time you need and then we can bring you Reilly." The doctor says.
I snap. "No, I need to see my son now."
"Mick, give yourself a minute. Reilly is in good hands, I'm sure." Stef tries to convince me to take a moment to collect myself.
"No, I need Reilly. I need to take him home before Trish's mother arrives. She'll cause a scene. I know it." I insist.
The doctor says gently. "I thought you would want to see Trish before you go."
"I can't." I barely recognize the strangled voice that comes out as mine.
"Mick, you need the closure. Please listen to the doctor." Stef advises.
"I'll come back. My first concern is Reilly. Please understand, Stef. Trish's mom hates me. If she had her way, I'd have no contact with Reilly whatsoever." I explain my concern.
"The social worker said you are named as the sole guardian if something were to happen. She'd need to challenge it legally." The doctor reassures me.
Stef looks into my pleading eyes. She sees that I am not relenting. "Where do you want to take Reilly? Because damn it, you're coming back."
I blurt out. "Ash. He'll be safe with Ash long enough for me to come back."
Stef nods. An anxious and irritated Reilly is brought out by the social worker. I grab him into my arms the second I reach them. She is talking to me, but I'm just clutching Reilly and thanking God that he was unharmed.
The doctor tells me. "I'll make sure Trish remains comfortable until your return."
We have to borrow a car seat otherwise they wouldn't let us leave. I have one at home, but I use it so little it is still boxed up. It's no consequence because I'm not using the one we've been loaned anyway. I climb into the backseat and hold a now quieted Reilly to me. I know it's against the rules, but I can't let him go yet.
Stef drives us back to the brewery. She looks up to the rearview mirror several times to check on us. I can't believe she has stayed with me this entire time.
"Go up. Take whatever time you need. I'll wait for you down here to drive you back to the hospital. You have to say goodbye." She lets me know that she isn't letting me back out.
"Stef."
"Tell me later, Mick." She says solemnly.
I nod and head up the outer stairs to Ash's apartment. It's late. I'm probably waking them up. I pound on the door. "Ash, man! Open up! Please! It's important, man."
A minute later, Ash opens the door cautiously. He spots a sleeping Reilly in my arms and his eyes widen. "Mick?"
"It's Trish. She's gone. She's gone, man."
Looks of confusion, sympathy, and sadness cross my best friend's face. "Come in. You aren't making any sense. Reese, go get dressed."
I see Reese for a split second. She has a blanket wrapped around her like a strapless dress. She gives me a sympathetic look and scurries off to the bedroom. Ash leads me over to the couch. I sit, still holding Reilly to me.
"When she's done changing maybe we can put Reilly on the bed and..." Ash suggests.
"No I'm not letting him go until I have to go." I state.
"Go? Mick, man. You're scaring me. What happened to Trish?" Ash asks, staring at me.
"All I know is that they were in an accident. Reilly is fine, but Trish...Trish isn't going to make it." My voice breaks and I clear my throat.
"Oh shit, Mick. I'm so sorry." Ash hangs his head.
"I don't even know what I'm doing. I just sort of blanked. I..." I can't say anything else.
Ash reaches out and grips the back of my neck. There are tears in his eyes which make mine start to well again. "You don't have to do this alone. I'm here. We're going to get through this."
"I put on a pot of coffee. I think we all need it. Mick, how did you get here?" She eyes the desperate way I'm holding Reilly.
"Stef is downstairs. She drove us. She's been amazing without me even asking."
"Why is she downstairs still?" Reese asks.
"I...I have to go back and say goodbye. Trish's mom was on her way. I knew she'd try to take Reilly from me so I insisted on getting him out of there." I explain.
Ash shakes his head. "She can't do that."
"I know her. She hates me and what I did to her daughter. She's going to try to take Reilly away from me." I repeat.
"Well we're not going to let that happen." Reese says. She squeezes my shoulder. I look up at her, over to my best friend, and then down at my sleeping son.
I start to tear up again. "I have a favor. Can you watch him while I go back to the hospital? It shouldn't be long and he should just sleep for now. I...I don't have any of his things. Fuck I don't even have diapers."
Reese tries to calm me. "Mick this came out of nowhere. There is no way you could have been prepared."
"She's right. I have an idea. Reese is going to stay here with Reilly. You and I are going to go tell Stef what Reilly needs. She can hit up one of those 24 hour places. You and I can go to the hospital." Ash maps out a plan, which I'm grateful for since my mind is useless.
"Are you sure? Maybe..."
"May I?" Reese holds out her arms to me. I know she is asking for me to give her Reilly. I find myself snuggling him tighter to me.
Ash says gently. "Mick, buddy. We need to go. For Trish. For you."
I sigh and gently lay Reilly in Reese's arms. She's a natural, bringing his head up to her lips and kissing his fuzzy head. She settles into the recliner. Ash grabs a blanket and tucks it over them. He shares a tender moment with her. I feel embarrassed and look away even though I've seen them kiss and cuddle plenty before.
Ash disappears into the kitchen and returns with a mug for Reese and three travel cups. He kisses Reese's forehead, her lips, and the top of Reilly's head.
He turns to me. "Are you ready?" I shake my head, knowing what I have to face. Ash touches my arm gently. "I know, man. But we gotta go."
We leave to say goodbye to the first girl I ever loved and the mother of my child.