"Forgiving isn't something you do for someone else. It's something you do for yourself. It's saying, 'You're not important enough to have a stranglehold on me.' It's saying, 'You don't get to trap me in the past. I am worthy of a future.'" - Jodi Picoult
Chapter 25
"We will return to Auction Island," Nikora announced. "There we can discuss the details of our alliance."
Hiccup nodded. "Sounds good to me."
"HICCUP!" Everyone looked up at the shout from the sky. Dagur and Heather were racing toward the Tempest on their dragons. It was the former who had spoken. "YOU CAN'T DO THIS!" Dagur jumped off Sleuther when he neared the deck. "You can't attack them!" He waved his arms around wildly.
"No one's attacking anyone, Dagur," Hiccup said quickly. "We've already made amends."
Dagur blinked and dropped his arms. "Oh." He turned to me. "Good work, Brennda."
I smiled. "It wasn't me." My eyes flickered to Harald.
Dagur looked at Harald, eyes wide. "You?" A huge grin spread across his face. "Way to go! I knew you could do it!" He grabbed his arm and pulled him into a bone crushing hug, which Harald handled better this time.
"Thank you," Harald said with a small smile. "I only spoke the truth." Once Dagur let him go, he glanced at me. "The truth is a good strategy."
I grinned. "Yes, it is."
"Dagur, you are welcome to stay with us until we reach Auction Island where we will discuss the situation further," Nikora said.
"You got it!" Dagur said brightly.
Nikora placed her hand on her stomach and walked away. "Viggo," Astrid said when he started to go after the queen, "Stormheart, is she...?"
"Pregnant?" Viggo said. "Yes, she is."
Astrid's eyes grew huge. "...you?"
Viggo smiled. "Unfortunately, no. If you want to know the father, you will have to ask her. I will not divulge her secrets."
"You told Harald," I pointed out.
Viggo smirked. "Brothers don't keep things from each other."
At that, Dagur turned to Hiccup with an extremely apologetic look. "I'm sorry, brother!" he cried. "I was with Brennda and Stormheart the whole time, and I didn't tell you!" He pointed at Harald, Viggo, and me. "They told me not to tell you!"
"He goes from thanking us to blaming us," Harald muttered.
"It's alright, Dagur," Hiccup said.
"We did it for your own benefit," I said. "We didn't want Hiccup to turn on you... no offense, Hiccup."
"And we only did it because we knew Hiccup would come around eventually," Viggo added. He smiled at Hiccup's surprised look. "You may get lost at times, but you always find your way back."
Hiccup smiled. "Thank you, Viggo. And I'm sorry for everything I put you through."
"Think nothing of it. What's done is done."
"It's good to have you back, Hiccup," Heather said.
"I'll say," said Eret coming up to stand beside her. "Your speech was amazing, Harald. I really felt it."
Harald smiled slightly. "Thanks." Something caught his attention further along the deck, and he left us to approach Skulder. The archaeologist did not notice him until he was already hugging him.
"Hey!" Skulder cried. "What's the meaning of this?"
"I heard what you did for me," Harald said, not letting him go even as he struggled. "I love you too."
"Brennda!"
"Skulder, you should be honored," I said with a chuckle. "Harald doesn't show affection to just anyone." I paused. "And he's not going to let you go until you hug him back."
Grumbling, Skulder reluctantly wrapped his arms around the pirate in a hug. Harald finally let him go and smirked down at him. "That wasn't too hard, was it?" he said, to which Skulder mumbled something incoherent.
The ship slowed as it neared the docks. "Ooo... Auction Island!" Ruffnut said.
"Let's go check it out!" said Tuffnut. The two of them hopped on their dragon and took off.
"I better go after them," Hiccup said, moving to Toothless. Others started going to their dragons or walking to the island on foot.
"Hey, Fishlegs," Harald said. "Do you want to know what we've learned about the Luminous Krayfin?"
Fishlegs brightened and scurried to him. "You've learned about Lumie?"
"Oh, yes. He's doing quite well, by the way." The two of them walked off together to continue their conversation.
"Still have a problem with him making friends?" I teased Astrid.
"Not at all," said Astrid. "As long as it's genuine."
I smiled. "Oh, it is." We started for the island together.
Astrid gave me a hesitant look. "Listen, Brennda, I'm sorry about the way I've been acting. I should have trusted you about Harald. And I should have given him another chance."
Her willingness to finally admit this pleased me. Still, I understood where she came from. "You were looking out for Berk."
"But in the end I didn't do a very good job, did I?"
We arrived at the island and started up the hill with our dragons. I gave Astrid an encouraging smile. "That's alright. You're skeptical, and that is very valuable. Everyone has their strengths. Harald is more negative too, and today that helped us out. You both help us see another side of a problem, which brings us closer to the truth. You just have to know when to concede."
Astrid smiled back at me. "You're right. Your strength is seeing something in people that's invisible to others. That's actually really cool. Maybe it is what will allow us to win in the end."
"Yeah, maybe." I loved the very idea.
***
The meeting on Auction Island went very well. We discussed basic strategies and battle plans. We agreed to meet once Heather figured out a precise date on the eclipse. It felt great to finally have everyone united. It felt like we could actually win this.
Harald and I continued to train the pirate dragon riders while also going on missions. We were all getting stronger together. And then, a week after Hiccup joined us, Heather gathered the main players from all three tribes in the meeting hall of Auction Island. She finally had an answer for us.
"The solar eclipse will take place in three weeks," she explained. "We have that much time to plan and prepare."
"What happens on the day of the eclipse?" Nikora inquired.
"The light from the eclipse should illuminate the map and show us where to search for the treasure."
"We no longer have possession of the map."
"But Toki doesn't know the date of the eclipse," Hiccup pointed out.
"As far as we know," said Harald. "He did steal Skulder's notes. He must know the eclipse is important. That's why he hasn't attacked us yet."
"He doesn't have the Night Lights," I said. "We still have something he needs. Now, I know we can't trust him, but I think the most efficient thing to do would to be to work together with him to first obtain the treasure and then fight him."
"Why wait when we can take him out right away?"
"He probably has a plan for that. Besides, we need four chiefs - or leaders - to find the treasure." I looked from Nikora, to Hiccup, to Dagur. "I only count three."
Harald frowned. "We cannot trust Toki to abide by an agreement even to obtain the treasure. He can't have equal say."
"Agreed. Good thing he is not the leader we need."
Harald's eyes instantly turned dark. "No."
"Randel is the captain, which makes him the leader. We need to appeal to him for a temporary truce."
"Randel prefers violence to cooperation. He will never go for it."
"He's not being violent right now," Astrid pointed out. "Clearly he is open to other methods. And if we just attack them, doesn't that make us as bad as them?"
Harald averted his gaze. "Not if we don't have another choice."
"Which we do," I said. "Look, I don't know if it's going to work, but we have to attempt a nonviolent method. If he accepts, that doesn't mean we should let out guard down. We should be prepared to fight at any time but only in defense."
"I think it's a good idea," Hiccup said. "It doesn't to try. If Randel wants the treasure that badly, he may go for it."
"But we should except him to turn on us the second we find the treasure," Nikora added.
I nodded. "Exactly. We hope for the best and plan for the worst."
"I'm in," Dagur said. "I'm all for fighting, but this sounds like an interesting challenge."
Harald slammed his hands on the table, drawing everyone's attention. The hatred in his eyes, though directed at no one, sent a chill down my spine. "Fine. If you all want to take your chances with someone not worth saving, be my guest. Just leave me out of it." Then he stood up and stormed out of the room. For a long moment, no one said a word.
"He really doesn't like his dad, does he?" Dagur said, shattering the silence that permeated the room.
"Randel put Harald through a lot," Nikora explained. "No father should ever treat their son that way. I'm afraid I can't even begin to imagine how to help him." She looked at me.
"I'm not sure what to do either," I admitted. "Although he hates Toki, he can have a rational discussion about him just fine. But when I even mention Randel, it's like I'm walking on ice." I sighed. I wished I knew the answer because I knew his behavior came from a place of deep-seeded pain. "Is there anyone here who understands what he's going through?" I looked around at everyone in the room.
"Actually, I think I do," said an unexpected voice.
***
Harald
Harald trudged through the forest where he used to go to think. He felt like a hypocrite, and he hated it. After making a big deal about trying to help people and give them a chance, he wrote his own father off as a lost cause. He had already forgiven and asked others to forgive people who had done much worse than him. Why did Randel cause such a primal reaction in him?
Harald stiffened when he heard someone behind him. "If you're here to talk to me about familial love, you can save your breath. This isn't the same thing." He turned around and was surprised to find Hiccup standing there. "Sorry. I thought you were Heather or Dagur."
Hiccup smiled slightly. "No. And you're right that your situation and their is different. The relationship between siblings doesn't compare to the relationship between a father and son."
Harald scoffed. "And what would you know about troublesome father-son relationships? I bet you and your dad got along perfectly."
Hiccup chuckled nervously. "Not exactly, Harald. You really don't know the full story about how Berk came to accept dragons, do you?"
Harald frowned. "I know enough. And whatever problems you and Stoick had, they pale in comparison to mine. My father constantly criticized me, abandoned me, used me for my brain, tried to turn me into a killer, criticized me some more, and then tried to kill me. Not to mention Toki tried to kill Brennda under his watch."
Hiccup held up his hands in defense. "Okay, okay, I get it. If there were a competition for worst father of the year, yours would win by a landslide. But just hear me out, alright? I listened to you, and now I want you to listen to me."
Harald looked Hiccup up and down. There was something different about him. He had never looked at him like that before. Like he actually saw him. "Fine."
Hiccup took a deep breath. "So, what you said to me the other day had me thinking. We're a lot more alike than either of us wanted to admit at first. We both saved a dragon and bonded with it, we both prefer using our minds to our brawn, and we both have - had - fathers who didn't understand us growing up. You see, before I met Toothless, I did not feel like I fit in at Berk. I didn't have strong fighting skills and didn't particularly care to learn. I preferred to accomplish my goals using my intellect, and that gained my the disapproval of my father. Nothing I did seemed to please him. He wanted me to be a strong, tough warrior, and that just isn't me. Does this sound familiar?"
Harald shrugged. "I can relate."
Hiccup gave him a small smile. "I tried to be the Viking my dad wanted me to be and engage in the war against dragons, but when I actually shot down a dragon, I couldn't kill him. No, I chose not to kill him because that wasn't who I wanted to be."
"You befriended him instead."
Hiccup nodded. "At first, it actually helped me out. I learned about dragons in secret and used this knowledge to subdue dragons non-violently during dragon training. It won me the admiration of my peers and my father. For the first time in my life, my dad was proud of me because I led him to believe I was great at fighting dragons."
Harald looked at him in astonishment. "Hold on, you deceived him? You gained admiration by putting out a false image?"
Hiccup smiled weakly. "I told you we have a lot in common. Anyway, everything backfired on me when I won the 'privilege' to kill a dragon in front of the entire tribe. My first instinct was to grab Toothless and run. I probably would have done it if Astrid hadn't found me and stopped me." He paused. "Now that I think about it, if Toothless and I had run off together, we may have engaged in some dubious activities to survive just like you. And if you had a supportive friend or two, you might have ended up following my path." Hiccup lowered his head and smiled. "I get it now. People choose how they act, but their circumstances push them in a particular direction. If we want to change people's minds, we need to take those circumstances into consideration and alter them so they choose a better way."
Harald nodded. "Yes, that's right. Anyone is capable of evil given the right outside forces." He saw empathy and understanding in Hiccup's eyes, and it put him at ease.
"I'm sorry for going off track. I didn't run away, of course. I tried to show the village dragons aren't evil, but my dad spooked Hookfang and Toothless had to defend me. My dad captured Toothless and forced him to take him to the nest. I wanted to give up then, but Astrid encouraged me to keep fighting."
Harald smiled. "We wouldn't be anywhere without our women, would we?"
Hiccup chuckled lightly. "That's for sure. So, I taught my friends how to train dragons, and we flew off after the tribe. That's where we encountered the Red Death, of course. Seeing the dragons help us must have made my dad realize he was wrong, so he freed Toothless. Then Toothless and I were able to defeat the Red Death. After that, it was hard for anyone to deny that dragons are our friends."
Harald allowed silence to remain for a moment while he let everything sink in. "That is a fascinating story - and I'm glad you told it - but is there a point?"
"Oh, yes. The point. The point is that I know what it is like to desperately seek a father's approval without being able to get it."
Harald's eyes widened. "Y-You think that's what's going on with me?"
"I know it is." Hiccup gave him a hard look that seemed to burn through his soul. "You use avoidance as a technique, Harald. You avoid people so you don't have to work on the relationship, and you avoid your emotions so you don't have to process them. I think you don't want to reach out to your father because you're afraid he'll reject you again. It's what you used to do with every relationship. You sabotaged yourself so you wouldn't have to be let down. You may have overcame that for the most part, but it's different with Randel because he's your dad. Your desire for approval is on a whole different level, and that's completely natural."
Harald clenched his jaw. He wanted to argue with him but couldn't. Something changed between them when Hiccup joined him. They had a mutual understanding he could not deny. "How did you fix it?" he asked in a low voice.
Hiccup appeared relieved he did not argue the point. "I didn't really 'fix' anything. I just decided my dad was wrong and I didn't need to change. I stood up to him... and he disowned me. But then I gave him proof that I was on the right track. The funny thing is, I only gained his approval when I stopped caring about it. My concern was being true to myself and doing what was right."
"I have been working on that. Perhaps I could try speaking to my dad again. Things might be different now." But would it be enough? He did not know, and it still scared him.
Hiccup smiled slightly. "Good. The only way to get over your fear is to face it head on. And to reduce the need for approval, realize that there is nothing you can do to earn it. The way your father treats you is not your fault, Harald. You do not deserve it. There is nothing wrong with you. Your father is the one with the problem. You can try to change his heart, but at the end of the day, the decision is his own. It's his loss if he can't see how great you are. And that's fine because you have a lot of people in your life who do see it. They're the ones who really matter."
Harald stared at him, stunned. "Hiccup, that's-" He dipped his head, smiling. "Thank you."
Hiccup smiled back at him. "You're welcome."
Harald felt much more at ease now, and he slowly felt himself letting go of the past. His new clarity allowed better reasoning. "Now that I think about it, Toki likely acted on his own when he attacked Brennda. My dad seemed upset that he targeted me. And then he dropped the key, allowing me to free the dragons and escape. The way he looked at Brennda... I think he wanted me to save her life."
Hiccup's eyes grew wide. "Wow. Have your dad and Brennda spoken before?"
"A few times. He seems... different around. It's not the typical reaction she elicits from people. It almost seems like it's not her he sees but the connection between us."
"Maybe he can tell you love each other. That must affect him somehow."
Harald frowned as he thought back. "Perhaps it's because of... my mother. A long time ago, he told me he left my mother and me because he loves us and thought we would be better off without him. I didn't believe him then, but that was exactly my reason for avoiding Brennda."
"Do you think he loved your mom?"
Harald nodded. "It's a distinct possibility."
Hiccup furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "Then why is he working with Toki? Didn't you say Toki is the reason your mom... passed?"
Harald weighed the possibilities in his mind. "Maybe he doesn't know what happened. Cason certainly doesn't know. I think they both need to wake up to the truth."
"Too bad you don't have proof about what happened."
Harald dug his hand into his bag. "There is the letter my mom left me before she died. I don't know if it's proof, but it might be something." A lump formed in his throat when he thought about it. Though he carried the letter, he had not read it in years. Could he face his father feeling so vulnerable?
"You don't have to do this," Hiccup said in concern, seeming to sense his dilemma. "You don't need to get so person if it's too soon."
Harald sucked in a sharp breath. "No, you were right before. I have to do this. I have to face my past if I want to finally let it go." And that meant confronting his father. If Brenna was with him, he just might be able to do it.
***
A/N: We're nearing the end! There's only a few more chapter left. Thank you for coming with me this far. It's been great.