"You need to relax, breathe Lisa, breathe," Jisoo said and fixed the suit that Lisa was wearing, her frail figure being painted on the mirror in front of her, her best friend's presence making everything just a little bit less nerve wracking. This was definitely something that came out of nowhere, a decision that had been made in such a childish way that no one saw it coming. After what happened to Lisa that day, the infection that had ruined her plan of getting the chemotherapy done, the older woman felt like she had to rush other things in her life. If she had told Jennie the reason why she wanted to do that she probably wouldn't make it out of the hospital, she would have died right there and then and the cause of death would be Jennie herself. It all happened so quickly that she doesn't even remember how the conversation even started, but one thing was important, Jennie didn't disagree with the rushed idea of actually getting married in a city hall.
"Are your parents coming after all?" Jisoo asked and paused for a moment to look at Lisa in the eyes, her friend shaking her head while looking down, a sad expression on her face suddenly. "They're still mad that I didn't let them know about the cancer part," Lisa sighed and looked up again, her eyes meeting Jisoo's through the mirror once again, a slight smile on her lips as she tried to keep her positivity even through this. "I really hope to see them there though," Lisa added after a while and finally managed to get a hold of herself, taking a deep breath and gathering her strength she turned around to come face to face with Jisoo who could only smile at her. "What?" Lisa asked and turned around to check herself one more time thinking that there was something wrong with her outfit and maybe that is why Jisoo was smiling like an idiot.
"Am I too much? You think she won't like it?" Lisa started stressing even more than she was before, which was totally against the rules that she had set for herself after what happened every time she would faint due to the stress she was feeling combined with the exhaustion that her body was going through the past month. "No stupid, I'm not smiling because you look like a fool. I just never thought I'd be able to see you as happy as you are today." Jisoo admitted and covered her face for a moment, Lisa standing in front of her in aw, this must have been the first time in her entire life that she was seeing Jisoo, the rock of the group, cry or attempt to cry. The oldest starting waving her hands all over the place trying her best to prevent the tears from ruining her make up. "You're both the craziest people I know, who the hell decides to get married just like that?" Jisoo laughed instead of crying turning it upside down just so she could lighten up the mood, Lisa chuckling as well while taking a last good look at her own self, the clothes she was wearing hanging loose from her body.
"Stupid kids in love and full grown adults that love each other to death," Lisa joked, her heart starting to race again as she remembered what she was about to do, where she would go and who was going to wait for her there. "Jennie and I, we're a combination of that for sure. I really love her unnie, it sounds stupid but... I think I'm gonna pass out if I see her stand in front of me there, my mind won't be able to comprehend how stunning she will be." Lisa started talking again voicing her nervousness and worries to her best friend who was full on crying now while looking at Lisa and listening to what she was saying about her fellow friend who was with Chaeyoung to the woman's apartment getting ready. "If I did not want to be with her forever I wouldn't decide to marry her just like that, I would not set a date with her out of nowhere. Right?" Lisa asked and turned to look at Jisoo who was cleaning up the mascara under her eyes while cussing under her breath.
"I swear to God Manoban if you don't stop with your cute ass words you won't make it out the door," Jisoo warned her in the most playful way possible causing a loud laughter to come out of Lisa's mouth, the woman's hands immediately looking for something to hold onto so she wouldn't lose her balance. Both her and Jennie had agreed on holding the wedding event on a day that Lisa wouldn't be affected by the chemo and coincidentally enough she couldn't have any more sessions since her system had that infection going on. It was even more dangerous to go out or to come into contact with a lot of people that's why she chose to have only the closest people to them there with her. As much as she didn't want to admit it this infection was making it even harder for her to move around and actually be energetic than the chemo did alone.
"There are a plethora of other reasons as to why I may not make it, should I worry about you too now?" Lisa half joked and was half being serious but it didn't seem like her best friend was having any of it, she didn't even crack half a smile which was completely understandable since she didn't find her best friend's condition funny at all. "I should have chosen Jennie, she would be funnier to have around" Jisoo teased her best friend and nudged her a little bit to cheer her up, Lisa laughed as well having caught the message that her best friend wanted to pass to her. "Now come on, it's about time to go already" Jisoo said and reached he hand out to take Lisa's, she knew how stressed her friend was and she completely understood why, this was a big deal even all of them saw it coming at one point or another. Lisa gulped and looked at her friend's hnd that was waiting for her, her heart racing like it had never done before, the thought of getting married to Jennie seemed kind of unreal at this point.
"It will be okay, you'll see"
___________________________
It will be okay, Lisa kept repeating to herself as she made her way in the city hall with Jisoo standing right next to her at all times, the parked car that was just outside the tall building being the one that Lisa drove while she was in New Zealand visiting Jennie some time ago. "I can't," Lisa said ans topped walking a soon as she took her first step in the town hall, the warmth wrapping around her body that ha been trembling both from the stress but also the cold weather outside. "I am already losing it unnie, I can't see her. I will pass out I fucking swear" Lisa sighed again and again, her trembling hands rubbing each other as a copying mechanism to relieve the stress that seemed to be taking over her body. The voices of the people that were attending could be heard, Jennie's voice was nowhere to be heard. "Look at me, look at me. Behind that door stands the woman that you spent months looking for, the one that you flew from Seoul to New York and from New York immediately to New Zealand just so you can see her again." Jisoo started off and pointed at the big door right in front of them, Lisa following her friend's finger.
"Now, now you have her okay? She's yours and she is waiting to promise you her life just so you will promise yours to her. Trust me I've never seen someone care about someone else like Jennie does for you, that woman would die for you and I am sure you'd do the same for her." Jisoo smiled and took Lisa's still trembling hands in hers to make sure she was going to be okay and calm before they walked in. There was nothing though she could do to make sure she wouldn't freak out as soon as she would lay eyes on Jennie. "Are you good to go?" Jisoo spoke up one more time, Lisa nodding before she let go of her best friends hands. "Okay then," Jisoo said and let go as well, heading first and pushing the door open while Lisa followed, her eyes watering at the thought of seeing Jennie standing there.
Soon enough she looked up only to come eye to eye with a few people looking at her, Chaeyoung standing right next to Jenni. Had she ever looked so stunning before? No, this was so much more special than all the other times that she had seen her all dressed up. She could feel a lump in the back of her throat as she walked closer, her eyes landing on Jisoo who smiled at her, then at Chaeyoung who was a step away from crying and then at Jennie's parents that couldn't keep the smile off of their faces. "Is this real life? Or did I die?" Lisa asked as she managed to stand in front of Jennie, now being able to see how red the woman's eyes actually were probably from holding back her tears. "As real as it can get" Jennie laughed and reached up to fix the slightly uneven shirt that Lisa was wearing, the older woman smiling as well, her eyes glued on the woman in front of her. "You look beautiful," Lisa said and swallowed hard when Jennie's eyes looked back at hers as she spoke.
Lisa was already feeling tears come down her face by just reading the paper next to them on the table, her name that was written with Jennie's last name waiting to be signed by her. Jisoo behind them was taking photos like crazy even though Lisa begged her not to do so on the way to the city hall. She couldn't care less though, she had Jennie in front of her noticing how she was biting her lower lip to suppress her own emotions while taking the pen ready to officially make herself Lisa's wife. It felt like a dream when she handed the pen to Lisa, that's how the older woman felt as she signed off next, replicating the same action while trying her best to hold herself together. "Would you like to exchange vows?" the officiant suddeny suggested and Jennie and Lisa looked at each other shocked. "I didn't know we had to prepare them..." Lisa admitted, the last thing she thought was that vows would be needed in a city hall wedding,
"Me neither," Jennie whispered and Lisa felt a sudden wave of relief hitting her as soon as she realized that she was not the only one not knowing. "It's not mandatory," the old man explained but Chaeyoung chimed in immediately while filming the entire thing on her camera as well. "Come on, speak from your heart guys," She pleaded and Jennie was almost ready to have a heart attack. Jennie knew that Lisa loved to hear her xpress her feelings and the thoughts that were often going around her head at all times of the day. It was a more often thing for Lisa to open up since day one, pushing aside the fact that she had taken more time confessing to what she felt, it was easier for her to speak up and share her thoughts lately. This felt like the time to take the lead and write off the old persona called Jane once and for all. Jennie took a deep breath and held Lisa's left hand while facing her, the surprise was obvious on the older woman's face.
"I think you already know I am the worst at these kind of things. Every time I have to say something on the spot I tend to get anxious and blank out." Jennie started off in a slightly shaky voice, her eyes glued on the matching engagement ring that Lisa was wearing before she looked up to meet the older one's eyes again only to see her smile back at her. "I have tried so many times to express what exactly I feel for you. And in that process I ended up filling so many pages of thoughts upon thoughts just to find a way to let you know, to show you even. But that feeling..." Jennie inhaled deeply and kept her eyes locked with Lisa's somehow managing to momentarily lose herself in those chocolate brown orbs. "That feeling I get every time I look at you, I still haven't done it justice." Jennie took one more deep breath so she could collect herself.
"I have never felt so strongly about and for someone ever before in my entire life. You're my best friend, my lover, my other half, my confidant, my soulmate... whatever you want to call it... You're MY person." Jennie said with a little smile and saw Lisa fighting tears. "The truth is that I have never loved anyone else. When we met you instantly took a big part of my heart and persistently inhabited it, making it impossible for anyone else to even have a chance. And I'm so glad that you did because I was an idiot for not wanting to give this , give us, a chance." Jennie said and she could hear both of their friends now full on crying from where they stood but instantly ignored it because she didn't want to focus on anything or anyone else other than Lisa , her hand reaching up to wipe the tears off of her cheeks. "Today, I want to promise you something that I never plan on taking back or regretting," Jennie continued in a shaky voice that kept breaking off.
"The promise I want to make is that...I will always be there for you. I am sure that no matter what we'll always find a way to be in each other's lives. I have broken that same promise before, when I left but I won't ever do it again. I wholeheartedly mean it," Her eyes never let Lisa's for a single second but she could see that the older woman was struggling with her emotions, she was still smiling though and tightened her grasp around Jennie's hand. "So, maybe I'll never find the words that truly encompass everything I feel for you. But my promise to you is that I will gladly spend the rest of my life trying to find them with you by my side." Jennie exhaled deeply and felt her chest relaxing after making her little speech. "Until then, I'll make it really simple: I love you Lisa Manoban. All of you. I always have and I always will." Jennie finished and took a better look at Lisa who seemed to have absolutely floored while Jennie's heart race like crazy. Lisa's eyes were damp and more tears were falling from them while her fingers trembled in Jennie's. Both of them were surprised as soon as Jisoo approached them, giving them the matching wedding rings that they went ahead buying only a day or two before.
Jennie took the honor to put the one of them in Lisa's finger, the woman in front of her crying while looking between the ring and Jennie. Lisa gulped when she realized that this was a bigger ceremony than the one she was intending for but it all went away as soon as she noticed how touched Jennie was especially after that speech of hers. "So, how am I supposed to top that?" Lisa's unsteady voice joked and caused Jennie to laugh a little in response. Jennie was looking at the new now wedding ring on her finger while trying her best to regain her composure. Her eyes were practically piercing through Lisa's and that was a huge flag that Jennie had it worse than her. It took Lisa a few seconds to switch the way they had been holding hands so she could start, now she was the one holding Jennie's hands. "I don't think I can top that in any way but... I'll try and make it short." Lisa said in a perfect husky voice, Jennie's heart racing. "I have loved you for more than I liked to admit, but for the most part I loved you in silence." Those two lines already had killed Jennie, she could not understand how that was fair and how Lisa managed to find all the right and perfect words that made every inch of Jennie's body realize how much she had the upper hand emotionally. Her words were so heartbreakingly sincere, fulfilling and filled with love at the same time.
"Never would I have thought I'd get the chance to speak out on how much I love you and have you return the love so intensely. You allowing me to tell you how much you mean to me means more than you'll ever understand" she added literally breaking Jennie's heart in two instantly and putting it back together at the same time. "I don't want to be silent about it anymore. Sometimes I just... I want to shout it from every rooftop in Seoul," Lisa smiled and through her own tears now while feeling the salty drops reach down to her lips. She didn't stop to wipe them away though because she wanted to be fully focused on Jennie and only her. "I want to shout that I'll get to be with the person who makes me feel so whole, alive and overall worthy." Lisa's voice cracked now and Jennie's thumb was now drawing circles on the back of Lisa's palm. "For the longest time I kept second guessing my value and what I actually am for other people. Wanting to be with you had been a double edged sword for the longest time because on one hand I felt so precious that someone as amazing like you would want to be around me let alone like me." Lisa stopped for a moment to take a breath.
"On the other hand it scared me that you'd realize that you deserve someone so much better than me. But somehow throughout all the hardships we've been going through lately you managed to convince me that I am indeed worthy of your big heart and incredible mind. Spending so much time with you and actually seeing what our life together would be like even in the hardest times like the one we're going through now, makes me so excited to be with you forever. You make all the second guessing my worth part vanish, you make me feel loved and enough for this world. I can honestly say that I have never been happier than tis moment right now, one that is so special for both of us and we have the privilledge to share." Jennie was bawling by the time Lisa finished her speech, as she spoke about all the things that made her weak about Jennie. How vulnerable Lisa could get at times was probably what Jennie loved the most about her.
"You're scared of not finding the right words? You don't have to. Teaching me to love myself without you even realizing it is what matters the most to me." Lisa said and took the other ring that Jisoo gave her, now putting on Jennie's finger so they would match.
"Loving you for the rest of my life is not a decision I am making today. It has been an undeniable fact from the moment you invaded my life in the most beautiful way possible even if it took me some time to see it. " Lisa said and admired the piece of jewelry that was adding to Jennie's beauty now. "What I am promising you today is to never be silent again. I love you too. Always have, always will." Lisa finished saying and noticed how Jennie's lower lip was now quivering so much that she had to physically bite it down to hold her sobs back. Both of them were smiling at each other and Lisa was in awe from how happy she was feeling. The officiant reached out to hand them the piece of paper they had signed before, Lisa's hand reaching to get it from him when she felt two hands cup her face and pulling her in. Her salted from her tears lips were now captured by Jennie's, the softest and probably the best kiss that they ever shared with each other.
Lisa instantly wrapped her weak and shaky arms around Jennie's waist, holding her as close to her as possible, the cheers of everyone else in the space they were in being nothing else but a faded sound. If there was any other moment that Jennie would want to go back to and re live would definitely be this one :
The moment she officially became Jennie Kim-Manoban.