Don't you just love it when the weather is not nice at all? When it rains or snows and the sound of the weather turning bad is so relaxing in a way? I've learned to like that type of weather more lately, it's a safe way to convince Lisa to stay in the house. We've been doing better, both of us, as better as we can of course. Yeah my heart aches to see her suffer that much, to understand that she's not herself anymore, but with my job being what it is I try my best to be there both as a psychologist but also a normal human as well. What Lisa doesn't need at all is another type of doctor on her head, what she needs is someone to lean on, someone that won't expect to get something out of this situation, someone that will treat her as a normal human being. A healthy one.
Things are going better, she had her fourth chemo session yesterday and... Maybe her body just got used to getting through that shock that ends up leaving Lisa sleeping for hours and hours on end during the day. She looks even more energetic than she was all the other times, she even asked me to go on a walk today just because she had the need to see the world again but not through a glass pane, her own eyes. That would be nice if it wasn't snowing, but we did it anyway just because she wouldn't shut up about it which is fine as long as she agrees on walking in one of the warm cafe places around our block. Looking up from her phone where she had been typing her thoughts away all this time, Jennie's eyes fell on Lisa's figure, her head tilted against the window pane while her eyes innocently look at the snow covered street now.
"Is everything okay?" Jennie asked and placed her phone down, now taking a hold of her hot cup of tea just to bring it up to her lips that carefully sipped it. Lisa nodded and closed her eyes for a moment as if she was picturing something in her head, letting out a deep sigh before she opened them again to look between the snowy view and Jennie who was sitting opposite of her. "Are you tired maybe? Do you want to go back?" Jennie suggested when she saw the way that Lisa was now looking at her, the smile that slowly creeped up on Lisa's lips surprising her entirely. "No, let's wait for Jisoo and Chaeng," Lisa said and looked away again after catching a last glimpse of Jennie, her eyes closing again only to picture the same thing all over again. "Are you sure? You look sleepy, I can always cancel it you know," Jennie spoke up again when she noticed Lisa closing her eyes one more time, this time staying like that for a few seconds before looking back at the woman in front of her.
"I'm not, I'm just thinking about things. I like this weather a lot, it's all beautiful when it is snowing. I can't help but want to marry you like that, while it's snowing like now, it would be even more beautiful with both you and the snow there." Lisa said all of a sudden, her arms coming up to hug her own self. Her words seeped deep into Jennie's head and almost made her emotional, Lisa's soft voice along with the things she actually said using that voice was getting to Jennie a lot. "Did you just come up with that?" Jennie laughed and reached out with her leg slight hitting Lisa's knee playfully causing a wave of laughter to come out of the older woman, the laughter turning into a cough which ended up getting even more intense. Covering her mouth with a paper towel, Lisa felt a burning sensation make its way up to her neck while Jennie tried not to panic immediately.
"Lisa," Jennie said and followed the woman's eyes that landed on the actual paper towel, a few splatters of blood on it, soaking through it. Looking up from the paper that Lisa was holding Jennie felt the life leave her body when she saw Lisa's eyes roll to the back of her head before closing, the older woman's body falling to the side and soon hitting the floor. "Oh my God, help!" Jennie shouted her voice breaking as she fell down to her knees, her eyes never leaving Lisa's face. If they had then she wouldn't have seen the woman looking back at her for a split second, showing her that she was alive and semi conscious at that moment. "Lisa, Lisa?" Jennie repeated again and again while shaking Lisa's body a few times, the waitress that had previously kindly taken their order now calling an ambulance.
"Just keep your eyes on me okay?"
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It would be an understanding if she said that she was shaking while sitting on that damn hospital chair in the waiting room of the emergency room. She doesn't think she had ever been scared like that before in her life, seeing Lisa's face turn pale like that, the blood on her lips from coughing it out, her eyes rolling in the back of her head as she hit the floor. It was a visual that brought shivers to her entire spine, it made her heart ache as she replayed it over and over again. Not willingly, she was just scared that this was going to be the last visual of Lisa that she would have. That's what made her head play it repeatedly. The tears that had now seeped into her skin were making it harder for her to move, she was just a pale face with no expression painted on it, she was sitting there like a zombie while waiting for their friends to arrive.
This was not how she wanted to greet them, this was not the ideal place to meet up and Jennie couldn't help but think that this was her fault for agreeing and letting Lisa go on those short walks now and then. But what was she supposed to do? She didn't want to be that strict person that would lock her in the house, Lisa was an adult after all... Having her burst out again saying that she is being treated like a sick person and nothing else was definitely something that Jennie wanted to avoid. Looking at her purse that was resting on the table next to her Jennie felt her heart racing just at the thought that crossed her mind, her palms sweating the more she thought about again and again. "I'm so sorry," Jennie finally said and grabbed it, opening it she took out the so familiar now container, Lisa's voice playing in the back of her head as she popped out two pills.
Swallowing hard she took another good look at them, the guilt factor raising but so was the anxiety that didn't seem to go away. And it wouldn't, it wouldn't unless she saw Lisa being pushed out of that room safe and sound. As she was ready to put them on her tongue and swallow hard until they reached their destination, Jennie was distracted by the door being pushed open, two familiar voices entering the room at the same time. "Jen, thank God you're okay," Chaeyoung said and rushed to her seated friend, Jennie squeezed her hand and closed the pills in it. "No shit Sherlock, Lisa is the sick one," Jisoo sighed and approached as well, the two of them embracing Jennie who finally felt like she could let it all out, all the frustrations that had been building up inside her, everything that she was scared of and worried about those past two and a half weeks.
"It's okay, we're here now. It will be okay, she will be okay alright sweetie? I promise. Lisa is strong, she will be walking out that door with a smile on her face," Chaeyoung tried comforting her as their hug got even tighter, Jisoo opening her arms wide enough to close in both of the women, as the older one she felt obligated to comfort both of them. They were all terrified,how could they not be? First of all that was their best friend, someone that happens to be battling cancer and has a weak immune system, even the slightest cold could be the cause of her downfall and death at the worst case scenario. "It's all my fault, I let her walk around freely, it's all my fault guys..." Jennie cried out, her entire body trembling as she sobbed away, feeling safe now that Chaeyoung and Jisoo were there to hold her. "Don't ever say that again, how can it be your fault? You can't keep her locked up until she fully recovers, can you? You'll both go crazy, Jennie." Jisoo spoke up, her words feeling like a strong mental slap that hit Jennie right in the face at that moment.
"Excuse me?" A new voice now entered the room, all of them looking over their shoulders to see where she was coming from, only to come across the doctor that was responsible for Lisa's case. "I just placed Ms Manoban in her room, I thought I should let you know in case you want to see her," The doctor said and Jennie broke free from the tight embrace immediately practically running out of the room and heading down the hallway, she knew where she had to go since there was only one room that was known as Lisa's room. Following behind her were Jisoo and Chaeyoung, both of them walking fastly so they could catch up with Jennie but it was kind of impossible considering that the woman was making a ride of die run for it, her desperate need to see Lisa being too strong. So, pushing the white door open she felt her heart sink but beat at the same time, the tears that had stopped for a while now running down again.
"You're such an asshole Lisa," was the first thing that Jennie said as she walked closer to Lisa, the older woman chuckling a little bit, her damaged throat hurting a little, the uncomfortable scratching feeling making its presences evident instantly. "You fucking scared me," Jennie sniffled and leaned down to hug Lisa, her nostrils filling with the woman's essence that was still lingering on her skin. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to," Lisa sighed and kissed Jennie's forehead, her eyes closing for a few seconds while they both stayed there like that. "You'll make me think that you don't actually want to marry me," Jennie said the same time that Jisoo and Chaeyoung walked in, their two friends stopping immediately after hearing what rolled off of Jennie's tongue. A loud gasp came from Chaeyoung while Jisoo stayed silent in shock.
"YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED?!" Both of them said at the same time, their loud voices being so loud that Lisa was sure other patients could hear them as well. Looking at Jennie before she answered she could see how flustered the woman was getting, her cheeks turning red which reminded her of the day that she was in the hospital due to exhaustion, the same day that she kept teasing her and pushing her to admit whether she likes her or not. Jennie had the same blush on her chubby cheeks. "OH MY GOD YOU ARE" Chaeyoung gasped again and started jumping up and down taking Jisoo with her, two full adults now celebrating like children. "There's too much noise, don't you think?" Jennie teased while looking at the two women jumping up and down still, Chaeyoung stopping to give her a warning glare.
"I'm sure your horny asses would love to be alone, that's some wife to wife shit and I can't stand it at all." Jisoo was the one to respond to Jennie causing all of them except her to laugh out loud, even Lisa who could barely talk in an audible voice managed to laugh a little. The laughter though stopped as soon as the doctor came in, a serious look on her face that made everyone's blood freeze in their veins especially Lisa's. "I'm sorry to be the mood killer ladies, I just thought I should let you know on your friend's condition," the woman said and stood now next to Lisa's bed, Jennie who was right opposite of her looking between her and Lisa. "Unfortunately you've caught a cold. I know this may seem normal and not a big deal but for someone like you it could be something that can kill you. Your system is so weak that even a light fever and a cough can bring you down. Because of that cold I'm going to have to extend the chemo one more week since you'll not receive any of it this week or the following one." The woman said in one breath.
Lisa just hang her head low, not just because she was informed of her current health but because she knew that this whole thing would take even more time to come to an end. She practically caused this to her own self, feeling good and wanting to go out did this to her and even though she knew deep down that she was being risky and too stubborn she still went out once a day in the snowy weather. "Her body won't be able to sustain both the antibiotics and the chemo, so that's what I have to offer for now" The doctor said before taking another look at the people in the room, locking eyes with Lisa finally she smiled politely and walked out again, leaving the four of them again. "How about we leave too? We should let the house wife deal with this," Chaeyoung said almost under her breath while looking at Jisoo, the two of them thinking that Jennie hadn't heard them.
"Yeah, I agree with that. I'll be the cause of death for this one right here," Jennie said and clenched her jaw, her eyes never leaving Lisa who avoided looking at her. "Jesus, she scares me a lot sometimes," Jisoo said and opened the door, taking steps backwards, both of them eventually walking out the room to head to their usual spot. The hospital cafeteria. "I really want to yell at you and break your face right now but I'm only blaming myself for that right now," Jennie said and sat down next to her future wife, the ring sparkling on her finger under the light of the room. "You promised me a wedding and a little Jennie running around, possibly a little Lisa too. Can you not be stubborn for a little while?" Jennie sighed, her hands reaching to hold Lisa's cold hands, sometimes she worried that the blood in Lisa's body was not enough to actually reach her hands. Lisa smiled while looking down at their joined hands, nodding her head before looking up to meet Jennie's eyes.
"I'll try, a little Jennie sounds very tempting"