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❛ ᴏᴄᴇᴀɴ ᴇʏᴇꜱ. ❜ ° . ༄
- ͙۪۪˚ ▎❛ 𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐄 ❜ ▎˚ ͙۪۪̥◌
»»————- ꒰ ᴄʟᴀss ᴘʀᴇ-ᴜɴɪᴏɴ ꒱
❝ YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND.
THERE'S REALLY NO OTHER
WAY TO DESCRIBE IT ❞
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"Taxation without representation," Mr. Feeny said. "King George."
"We provide colonists with all of their finished manufactured goods," Stuart said, dressed as a king.
"General Washington."
"Fine," Cory replied; he was wearing a tricorner hat to resemble the Founding Fathers. "Like we need your stinkin' British goods. We're Americans, we're independent. We'll get our goods from Japan."
Juliet laughed with the class at the oxymoron.
Mr. Feeny didn't join in. "General, I'm dying for you to elaborate."
"What's the point, Mr. Feeny? We all know we kicked British butt."
"Winners and losers aside, General, if we do not understand history, we are doomed to repeat it."
"Oh, who cares about George Washington. Or King George," Cory complained. "Was every boring guy in history named George?" he asked before he turned to their teacher with wide eyes. "I meant every boring dead guy."
"Apparently the past holds no interest for you."
"No. It's happened, it's done."
"It's history," Mr. Feeny agreed.
"I'm saying!"
"Perhaps we should study your history, Mr. Matthews?"
"History? I have no history. I'm eleven! I'm more interested in my future."
Mr. Feeny stood. "Then it might be more interesting to look into our futures and see if we can avoid mistakes before they happen."
"I smell an assignment," Shawn commented.
"I swear I didn't see it coming," Cory said as he sat back down.
"The assignment for all of you is to create personal histories for yourselves as if you were returning for your twentieth high school reunion."
"More like a pre-union," Minkus commented.
"Well said, Mr. Minkus. You are the graduating class of the year 2000. What is your profession? Do you have children? Are those children tormenting their sixth grade teacher?"
"Mr. Feeny, would it be alright if I brought my wife?" Minkus asked as he stood.
Shawn laughed. "Oh, come on, Minkus. What would marry you?"
The blond boy turned to the girl in the back corner. "Juliet," he declared with a smile.
The class oohed as Juliet shrunk in her seat. "Minkus, I've said this before—"
"—she's going to be too busy marrying me," Shawn cut in as he glared at the blond.
"Shawn!"
"Trust me, babe. I've seen the future and it's me," Minkus said. He glowered back at the dark-haired boy.
"I'm going to marry her first," Shawn snapped, "and she'll be too happy with me to give you a second thought."
Juliet sighed and shrunk further in her seat, already planning her future.
🌎🌎🌎
"You're going as a tire salesman?" Cory asked Shawn.
"It's what my dad does," he explained.
"So?"
"I know what to wear, I know how to use a pressure gauge. I can spot a retread from a mile away."
"That's boring," Juliet complained.
He shot her a smile. "That leaves room for you to be the interesting one."
The redhead groaned and stuck her fork harshly into her food.
"What about you Larry? What are you going to be?"
"I got an angle. I'm gonna be a sixth-grade teacher. Better yet, I'm Mr. Feeny," the boy answered immediately.
"Why?"
"Because imitation is the sincerest form of butt kissing!"
"Show some originality!" the redhead exclaimed. "Isn't this assignment about what you want to be?"
"I mean, you're going as your dad," Cory said in agreement. "Larry, you're going as a Feeny clone. Are we the only ones with visions?"
"Oh yeah, who are you guys going as? Shawn asked.
"I'm not sure yet," Juliet admitted, "but I know I'll be an independent woman when I decide."
"Julie!"
"Shawn!"
"Yeah, well, I'm going to go as Cory Matthews, center fielder for the Philadelphia Phillies," Cory boasted, spreading his hands wide as he stated his title. All three of them started laughing, causing him to frown in confusion. "What are you guys laughing at?"
"You had thirty-one errors in Little League last season!" Shawn exclaimed.
"Even I know that's bad!" Juliet added, giggling.
"Okay, so I didn't play up to my enormous potential," Cory said. "Come on, guys, let's be what we really want to be. Are we going to be men or are we going to be men with boring jobs?"
"We're going to be men!" Shawn yelled, and the three boys barked like dogs.
Juliet sighed. Maybe I'll have a nice, quiet life.
🌎🌎🌎
"Then after my leverage buyout of Microsoft, I went public and became the largest software manufacturer in the world," Minkus finished.
"Mr. Minkus, taking over a company is no easy feat. It requires proof of assets, bank guarantees, countless applications," Mr. Feeny said.
"Mr. Feeny, who do you think you're dealing with?" The boy handed him a folder. "A list of my creditors, my loan guarantees and approval by the federal trade committee."
"An A Mr. Minkus for your very well thought-out future."
"Thank you, Mr. Feeny," Minkus said with a smile, "and on a personal level, Juliet and I have just celebrated the birth of our third child: Hermione Einstein Minkus."
"We're not getting married!" Juliet called across the room.
"Yes we are!" the answer came from both Shawn and Minkus, who glared at each other. Juliet giggled. "Wouldn't that be a sight?"
Mr. Feeny approached her next. Juliet was wearing smart black trousers, her mom's best white blouse and black jacket and her red hair was done up in a purposeful bun.
"And what about your future, Miss Capelwood?"
"Well Mr. Feeny, I'm going to be an independent woman without a husband because they're not necessary," she said this bit loudly for the boys in the back. "I will be running my own company which will provide books for the underprivileged communities and those lacking schools."
"Very impressive, Miss Capelwood. And here I see it's actually Doctor Capelwood?"
"Yes, I will complete a PhD in criminal justice which will help me understand the lack of equal education around the world and how to help people communicate since I will also have a minor in psychology."
"You certainly have a bright future planned for yourself. How do you expect to complete these years of schooling and start a company?"
"I'll take night classes," Juliet answered him promptly. "I'm also going to try to finish my schooling early to get a jump on my future. I know that starting a business is difficult, especially with little funding, but I'm thinking that I'll be able to strike some sort of deal with Minkus Incorporated or have a good enough pitch to get the finances I need. In my folder, you'll find a budget sheet and a first-year plan for my entrepreneurship."
Mr. Feeny gave her a proud smile. "You and Mr. Minkus however, seem to have different ideas for your future. He was just telling me that you were celebrating the birth of your third child?"
"We're married!" Minkus called over.
"Business partners!"
"I'll take it!"
Their teacher gave them a faintly amused look, used to his student's banter. "An A for you, Miss Capelwood, for a wonderful job as always."
He moved on to the next student as Cory asked Shawn, "what's with the big gut?"
"What can I say? Julie's a good cook when she's not running her company." The boy shot her a smile.
"Well, I better be dropping food off for you 'cause people keep dying, not 'cause I'm living with you," she shot back. "I don't need a husband."
"A boyfriend, then."
"Or that."
"A live-in roommate?"
"Nope."
"A neighbor?"
"Uh-uh."
"A garbage man?"
She frowned thoughtfully. "Alright, but once a month. I plan to recycle and compost as much as I can."
"Well, I guess it's better than nothing. I've still got time to convert you."
🌎🌎🌎
Juliet and Shawn took their usual route home, the boy's arms laden with the pillow used to expand his stomach and the girl's jacket. Juliet's hair had come undone from its bun and was falling around her face annoyingly.
"You really don't want to get married?" Shawn asked, finally breaking their silence.
She shrugged. "If it happens, it happens. I'm not gonna live my life looking for a husband."
"Fair enough, I suppose," he sighed. "Does it really bother you when Minkus and I fight?"
"Where's this coming from?" He'd never been so. . . observant before.
It was his turn to shrug. "I don't wanna lose my chances and if something I do annoys you, well, I'd rather know now than when it's too late."
Her expression softened. "Shawnie, no matter what you're always gonna be my best friend. You don't have to worry about losing me to Minkus. I only find him cute in a puppy sort of way."
"You find him cute?" He sounded comically horrified.
She huffed. "Was that the only thing that stuck with you?"
"I— well, no," he said finally. "Just— Minkus? You've never called me cute!"
"That's 'cause you're not."
"Ouch."
She smiled, and tried to think of a good adjective for him because Shawn wasn't 'cute' like Minkus. He was more. . . "You're my best friend. There's really no other way to describe it."
The boy shifted the items he was carrying to one arm and wrapped the other around her shoulders. "Well, at least Minkus isn't your best friend."
"Nope," she agreed as she leaned against his side. "It's us against the world, Shawnie."
"Promise?"
"You know it. Want to make a cake when we get home?"
"But we have nothing to celebrate?"
"That's not true. We can celebrate our friendship any day! Or the fact that it's Tuesday! Or that it's Fall. There's loads to be happy about."
He glanced down at her with a soft smile on his face. "Alright then. We'll make a cake."
As it turned out, the biggest thing to celebrate was the arrival of Jim Abbot, a baseball star that had decided to visit Cory's house.
[edited may 2022]