(Baek Eun-Kyung's POV)
"Yes, please send me the remaining documents regarding her recovery, Yoo-jung's too. His company president and the young man himself gave me the authority to go through the documents, my secretary will mail you the remnants. Thank you very much, have a nice day", I clicked the red icon and swiped over it to end the call, as I turned around one hand on my hip and the other, thumb still against the red icon.
"You seem busy lately, I didn't know Yoo-jung's documents were your concern as well", green eyes with a hint of brown stared at me, mix of curiosity and suspicion in them while the young man, specifically my youngest son, sat calmly on the chair across from me while I stood next to the window.
"And I didn't know your concerns were my concerns. Why did you stay after the meeting? I didn't recall inviting you to have a talk with me, did I?", I crossed my arms eyeing him as well with the same suspicion he directed to me.
"Oh wow, now I need an invitation to have a talk with my own mother? You sure were not the warmest person when it came to showing your feelings frankly but now you seem even more frozen and strict than you had ever been", he sighed avoiding my gaze while he leaned his head on his hand that was supported by the armrest.
I do not remember teaching him to have such a sharp tongue and inadequate manners.
Is this what they call a child in his rebellious stage?
"You grew up quite honest and frank these past two years, coming to me now and talking while back then I was calling you like maniac worrying about you. Times sure change", under my left arm I started tapping my index-finger against my other arm, in a way Minho wouldn't see it.
Don't become weak, don't show your soft spot anymore.
He was quiet, not a single sound, he just looked irritated and speechless, nothing more nothing less.
Like the pouty child you always were, seems like you didn't really change that much.
I closed my eyes gulping down the painful memory of a way younger version of him, sitting in that very manner in front of me and his late father, eyes not lively as now rather dead and apathetic.
The stench of wet dirt and weird-smelling cologne was stuck on him back then, I will never forget that stench, I wanted to strangle those men with my own two hands if my husband wouldn't have prohibited me to see them.
Minho's legs were so small they couldn't even reach the floor back then but now look at him, trying to find a place where to put him, being honest and very talkative.
' "What did he say?", I repeated my questions several times, there were more tears it felt like I had cried out all the body liquid I had and still I wouldn't shake off the feeling that there was still some spare to cry for another round.
Minho was sitting in the interrogation room, not able to see us but we could see him, hair dishevelled, shirt all messy even torn at some places, his tiny legs scratched and bruised.
And there he sat like a lifeless little doll, not caring about a single thing, not even kicking his legs back and forth, no hint of nervousness, that pretty face of his dirty and bruised, dried blood close to his nose.
"My poor baby, my poor baby", I couldn't hold back touching the window where my poor little child was sitting touching it as if I could reach him that way, I knew I wouldn't but it made me feel like I could at least be able to hold him in my arms soon.
"Your behaviour", the deep voice next to me spoke up for the first time not leaving the child out of his sight while he referred to me," a member of the Baek family should never show such behaviour, remember? Affection is the first step to show weakness, the first step into abyss. If people would see you crying and caring for your sons the way you do, clinging desperately and wanting to do anything just to keep them safe, it is natural that people would try to use that weakness to get either on your good-side or take advantage of it. You may not realize it now, but a name comes with big responsibility. I am not blaming you but I am only trying to advise you how to take care of this kind of family since it seems you are not fully used to hold the name Baek", he had clasped his hands behind his back tapping inconspicuously one finger on his wrist as he turned around.
The same eyes as both of my sons had inherited from this very man, a man I couldn't really hate but I didn't really feel like truly loving due to his strict nature either.
It was more love than hate if you could ask me, a thin line almost blurry.
Now that I think about it, he never avoided my gaze when he talked to me.
"Well he wasn't important to them, that is what kept him out of severe casualties", he clutched his fists even tighter.
"It was me they were after, I heard it all", a mutter behind us appeared like a ghost, almost vanishing again.
It was Tak his head lowered not being able to look up.
"They wanted to kidnap me, but I don't understand why he would say that", he kept muttering to himself.
I ran over and grabbed his shoulders, Tak was taken aback shaking out of fear as he widened his eyes.
"What did he say?!"
"I-I", he stuttered as tears dwelled up in his eyes, "he told them to kill him. That's what he said, I don't understand why he would say that!"
The shaking of Tak was not like my own as I hugged him tightly to calm him down, while I myself was a wreck.
"Why would he say that?", I heard my husband mutter as he pulled his lower lip watching Minho how he scratched the back of his chair.'
The feeling of anxiety that I had long learned to supress is now fully engulfing me, telling me she was back in full glory.
No weakness, not with that name.
"Minho", I spoke up and he seemed very surprised that my voice seemed a little bit more delicate now.
"You got five minutes to explain why you are here", was the only thing I could say, and he sighed clearly disappointed.
"I was just wondering about your way of deciding and directing things lately, I mean it is clearly obvious why you are taking counter measurements to hide the fight between METRO and RisingStar but is it really necessary to make them all that intimate? On top of that you send off P-love doing shoots with several male models who are currently on the top ten popularity ranking. I don't understand why you have to do that right now. All at the same time", it was quite baffling that my son was catching up on things that quickly, not only that but the amount of care he is showing towards every single one of those details he listed up concerning the group called RisingStar.
Something is clearly off.
Why would someone who went through the whole Showbiz thing himself, try to understand what was going through the mind of someone doing the same what was done to him?
"Are you really wasting my time with those needless questions? You know how this business works, and you know there is no place for any hint of imperfection when it comes to a good amount of vitamin C", Minho frowned at my curt but at the same time informative answer.
He surely understood what it meant given the career ladder he already had climbed.
"But why do you have to direct them to through this business in that kind of way? I mean making them play fake couples and forcing them to—"
"As I recalled you were fake dating yourself not less than a year ago, weren't you?", I cut him off and the irritated look on his face was unclouded now.
"Yes, but I was forced to by my company president since I messed up some things. Those girls didn't do anything. On the opposite they played their roles very well only one of them... I mean maybe those steps weren't necessary", and suddenly I understood.
"Baek Minho", I called him out and he looked very taken aback by it, "I am sensing that you are emotionally attached to something or should I say, someone? If you bring me good arguments and facts we could hold a full-fledged discussion but I don't see a hint of professionalism in you right now. They are all moving according to my plan, every single one of them. Messing up is not possible because they are under my control and I will exhaust every resources I have to in order to make them succeed as the first girl-group under my reformed company!", I hadn't realized that I had slapped my hand on the desk, followed by Minho's very confused face, seemingly contemplating about something.
"I don't think you could call me emotionally attached to anything, and it is not like I like those girls. Maybe it is pity or knowing they have to go through the same? By the way I don't you should slap your hand on that desk to often, when your hand gets swollen people make a fuss out of everything even making up rumours of domestic abuse and stuff", his face was clearly that of concern but his words were still distant, still in thought.
Where is the hate and resentment, we tried to implant in him?
Where is the strong and assured Minho?
"I don't need your concern and advice. You want to pretend like it is all okay and good after disappeared so suddenly back then, almost ruining our family, ruining our name, only thinking about yourself. And now you want to tell me you are being considerate?", it all lashed out suddenly, seeing my son being considerate towards strangers, towards those girls he barely knew while he left everything behind.
I opened my eyes again that I had closed out of anger just to be confronted by Minho's hurting and pained expression.
Maybe if I had a daughter like I wanted to this would have been easier.
But again, now that I think about it a son is much more appreciated in complicated times.
I still love both of them, Tak and Minho, but Tak suffered more than enough already always staying in his line even though things weren't going his way while Minho just did what he wanted when things seemed like they played against him.
This wouldn't be fair for Tak if I just played silent and forgiving mother.
"I may have been wrong back then in doing so, I admit that. But can you blame me?", he said lowly not looking at my face, shame clearly making its presence visible in the room.
"I am a widow, mother of two sons who is trying to fulfil her husband's last will. I almost lost my whole family once because I was not strict and cold enough, because I trusted everyone to play their roles instead of forcing them to know the seriousness of the situation, they were in. I let everyone do and go as they pleased to do so. I kept silent and shut for so long, being an observer to see one my sons working himself to death, becoming a marionette with no choice in his life and the other being selfish running off and almost getting killed in the process while he didn't take care of any responsibilities that stem from that", I pause for a second to regain the strength, standing firmly on the ground looking at my youngest son who was now looking and feeling the weakest.
Fragile like flower and still strong like a tree.
You need to bloom and grow, and therefore there must be something that leads you to it.
"I am Baek Eun-Kyung and not any widow out there, I will fix things that need to be fixed and it will start with you and RisingStar. Nobody will ever interfere again, nobody will make me watch things falling apart in front of me again. Your father left me this, he didn't want the company to be reformed but me and this family", I went over to Minho placed a hand on his head as I stroked through his soft hair while he looked like on that day when he was kidnapped, distant and dead in his eyes.
"Don't worry dear, your Mum will take care of things now just play along, will you? Don't do anything unnecessary. Don't get to close to something you can't have. Be aware of that name of yours", he just nodded and stood up bowing as he wanted to leave.
"I am sorry, I know it won't change a thing but someone like me shouldn't interfere", and with that he left, from behind he looked like a version of his younger self.
I collapsed on my chair, every strength leaving me as I inhaled deeply trying to avoid any useless thoughts and feelings that could obstruct my plans.
My eyes automatically moved to the CCT as they fixed on that certain girl.
She tried to reach out to eat something.
Eat, you have to...
But she pulled back clearly afraid.
I sighed and dialled a number.
"Tak, go check on the girl. I know you will do so anyway but I just want to make sure."
"Okay but she looks much better already, I want to track her myself though. I don't like strangers to interfere even further with this", I heard noises in the background.
With a rushed goodbye he hung up.
Maybe I should visit her again, making sure she is doing well.
I can't imagine what she is going through.
We need to keep it a secret as well, her mother would devastated, I can't let her go through the same things I did.
On another monitor Makii was coming into the dorm, clearly exhausted from the interview about her and Joon-woon.
I wish dearly Minho is just being confused and does not consider this bunch of girls his source of change and ease.
Suddenly I was reminded of the memory how I met my husband through an arranged meeting of our families.
Our family needed financial support, while my late husbands' wanted a stable successor for their family, him being the only son.
A little smile was crawling on my lips as I recalled how he whispered that he could easily tell them he was not interested in me if I am not fine with this, since my eyes were still red from crying the evening before because I was so against it.
He was very handsome and considerate, but also very logical, too logical and strict.
Feelings were a no.
But maybe that was what attracted me to him, that he was considering my opinion but at the same time trying to convince me that for me the best option would be to marry him while he wrote up a proposal and a pro and con list.
What an idiot, nobody would do that when you meet for the first time...
Tears dwelled up, I pressed hard against my eyes to restrain them.
I miss you.