Day 27th,
It has been almost a month since Lisa left and every day that passes by the more empty I feel. It's not that we don't get to talk or even video call, it's more like that I miss the idea of her being in the same house as me, in the room next to me showering or sleeping, doing anything that a human does. The thought of her being miles away is what is killing me the most and I have no idea what I should do so I don't feel this emptiness anymore. Sometimes I think I'm selfish for feeling like she should be here in the end of the day though I was the one that decided to move here in New Zealand. The more time passes though the more I think that I should go back, that idea creeps into my head and gives me hope of living with Lisa one day. I am not sure whether or not Lisa would be down for commiting to something like that but even if she is not... Then I'll way until she is.
I just need her more than anything else, I just need to know that I'll get to wake up next to her and hear her morning voice that annoys me when it wakes me up, but now it's one of the things that I miss the most. Life is always like that, we feel like we don't need something and that it just annoys us when it happens and then when we don't have it anymore we want it back more than anything else in the world. Maybe I should think about it all over again, before I had nothing and out nothing came everything and now that I have everything I have to act on it and claim it the best that I can and know how. Losing Lisa was not one of the best phases in my life, I had the chance to get her back and now I can't risk having her slip out of my hands again, I wouldn't take it at all.
Looking up from where she was sitting, Jennie felt a smile appearing on her lips when she saw the incoming call from Lisa, the woman must had been on her break and had the time to call for the first time that day. "Hey, did I call the right time?" Lisa asked referring to all the times she had forgotten the time difference between Korea and New Zealand, the amount of times she had called while Jennie was at work or even at home sleeping were just too many to count now. "Yeah, the best time of all," Jennie laughed and leaned closer to the screen so she could see every little detail of Lisa's face through the camera her heart immediately skipping a few beats. "You look tired, why haven't you gone to bed yet?" Lisa asked with a tone of worry in her voice, her eyes giving Jennie a serious look that was definitely something she hadn't gotten used to see from Lisa, the biggest clown on planet Earth.
"I waited for your call, I couldn't miss it could I?" Jennie cocked and eyebrow and crossed her arms in front of her chest while looking into the camera, Lisa cracking a smile immediately as she looked away to hide the fact that Jennie had managed to make her break her serious face. "No no, let me see your smile" Jennie whined and tapped her screen as if she could poke Lisa through it, the older woman looking back at Jennie with the same smile on her lips as before, her eyes watering a little bit but Jennie didn't want to ask why since she didn't want to ruin the mood. "I started to hate this video call thing, I want the real thing," Lisa said and lowered her head suddenly now her being the one to bring up the distance problem. Seeing Lisa struggling like that was only making her want to cry as well, she was missing Lisa so much that seeing her breaking down was bringing her close to edge as well.
"I know, I miss you too baby, but we can get through this like everything else," Jennie tried being the one rational adult even though she was tearing up for good as soon as Lisa looked up and her red eyes came into view. "I promise it'll get better, one day I'll be there to annoy you forever," Jennie spoke up again and placed her hand on the screen of her computer, Lisa doing the same after a while acting as if they could hold each other's hand. "It seems like a dream that I have yet to wake up from, I'm scared that one day I'll wake up and it'll all be untrue" Lisa admitted and chuckled a little, that small sound sounding like a melody in Jennie's ears, her lips forming a smile as well as she looked into Lisa's eyes through the bright screen. "Trust me this could only be explained like someone is dreaming while being on some sort of drug, this is a story for the books Lisa," Jennie laughed with the situation they were in, the only thing that could rationalize how they ended up like that was the dream while on drugs thing.
"Why don't you write it? You write stuff so why not a story?" Lisa suggested all of a sudden, her eyes brightening up a little bit once that idea creeped into her head and transported itself to Jennie's head through Lisa. Jennie paused for a moment trying to process what Lisa had just said or more accurately encouraged her to do. She was used to writing her own personal things, thoughts and things she had went through or emotions she was feeling and didn't know how to handle. But a story? Especially one taken straight out of her real life? That sounded kind of dangerous and it was asking for a huge commitment to it. "I shall find my ending in real life before I write it, don't you think?" Jennie played it off as if she was seriously thinking about that idea which truly managed to make its way to the very end of her head for now. "Oh, so I'm not your ending?" Lisa gasped in the most dramatic way possible, the older woman acting so offended from what she heard and causing Jennie to burst into laugher again.
"Only if you promise to grow old with me,"
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"Oh my God you're so cute," Chaeyoung squealed and jumped on the couch, getting comfortable while holding the hot cup of coffee she had made in her hands. After finding out that Lisa had been at Jennie's house for at least a week she had begged her best friend to spill everything that happened. Knowing Chaeyoung well Lisa could not deny her need to talk about it and to inform her friend of everything that went down, after all Chaeyoung was indeed their biggest shipper in the whole world. "So, will you?" Chaeyoung asked and scooted closer to Lisa, raising and eyebrow while looking at her best friend who was thinking about her answer. "Huh?" Chaeyoung pushed her a little bit more, that mischievous smile on her lips being always there to remind her that both of them knew the answer deep down. "Most likely, yeah," Lisa started off and grabbed her own cup that had tea in it, Chaeyoung almost choking on her sip.
"I mean, I don't think I can live without her at this point," Lisa went into further explanation, taking small sips from her steaming hot tea while feeling Chaeyoung's eyes glued on her, burning her skin. "Like, would I want to marry her? Of course, would I do it now? I don't think so," Lisa went on and on while Chaeyoung was having trouble wrapping her mind around how many things Lisa felt for Jennie. It's not just that she felt many things or said many things about the way she looked at Jennie, she made sure to show it now and express it more since she recognized that this was her biggest mistake in the past. "Marry her? You want to marry Jennie?" Chaeyoung asked in disbelief knowing that her last commitment that had to do with a wedding didn't really go well, you'd think that Lisa wouldn't want to experience the stress of marriage again.
"I do, she's mine forever anyway," Lisa dared to say because she knew that it would make her best friend squeal out of happiness and she was right, Chaeyoung did just that. "Can you imagine... She'd look even more beautiful if that's even possible," Lisa zoned out of the world for a moment, looking into the distance while imagining how Jennie would look dressed in white and walking down the aisle, a picture that Lisa never thought she'd imagine with the particular person. Chaeyoung who was sitting just a few inches away from Lisa was just looking at her friend in pure disbelief, she really couldn't believe that something so beautiful came out of something so wrong at first. This was maybe the first time that she was seeing Lisa being so stuck, so in love with another human being. Not one thing resemble how she was acting when she met her ex.
"You know Valentine's Day is literally a few days away, right?" Chaeyoung asked and poked Lisa a little bit so she could bring her back to reality, Lisa shaking her head as she started to focus on her best friend's face again. "What about that?" Lisa asked confused as she took another sip from her tea which she didn't manage to swallow since she was immediately pushed by Chaeyoung. Looking down at her lap to point out the amount of hot tea that was spilled on her, Chaeyoung didn't even flinch, she was still looking at Lisa with the strictest look ever. "Um hello? What a better time to surprise her? Even propose maybe," Chaeyoung winked at her best friend who was still pretty much pissed for the tea on her pants, the hot liquid creating an uncomfortable sensation. Opening her mouth to say something Lisa stopped immediately when a sharp pain went through her chest, her hand immediately reaching to cover the spot that hurt her the most. "Are you okay?" Chaeyoung rushed instantly, her hands reaching to cup Lisa's face that had turned pale for a few seconds before she came back to her normal shade.
"Yeah, it was just a random pain," Lisa reassured her and slightly pulled her head away from her best friend's reach, Chaeyoung nodding and sitting back down after making sure that Lisa has returned back to normal. "Anyway, it would be amazing if I could go and visit, but we're drowning at work," Lisa explained and the shine that she had in her eyes before while talking about possibly marrying Jennie one day was now lost when she remembered that she had to be away from the woman she loved the most. "Alright... But think about it, I can always cover you" her best friend said and got up, checking the time in her watch she noticed that she was going to be late to her date with Jisoo, the two of them arranging to go out since neither of them was working the next day. "Call me if you need anything, I swear I'll answer no matter what" Chaeyoung smiled and pulled her best friend into a tight embraced after Lisa got up as well, the two of them saying their goodbyes.
As soon as the door closed her phone started ringing, her heart stopping when she realized that the only person that could be calling her was Jennie. Running back to the living room she grabbed it from the coffee table and answered immediately although she was quick she was not prepared for what she was going to get hit with. "Jen, w-what is going on?" Lisa stuttered a little bit when Jennie's figure came into sight, Lisa's throat getting dry instantly when she noticed that the woman was only wearing one of the silk robes that she owned. "Well, let's say I miss more things than just cuddling with you" Jennie's low and seductive raspy voice reached Lisa's ears, the older woman swallowing hard as she kept looking at Jennie up and down wishing she was in the same room with her now. "D-Don't tell me you-" Lisa spoke up but was soon cut off when Jennie let the robe slip down her shoulders, exposing everything right away. "Yeah, I'll be doing exactly what you're thinking," Jennie was quick to respond, using her hands to seductively spread her legs open while leaning closer to the camera.
"And you're going to be joining me from your own bedroom,"