LISA
I am now scrubbing a lot of metals. Good lord I'm almost done! My white shirt is already stained with rusts. I shouldn't wear white next time even if this is my only decent shirt without holes. I should visit a thrift shop on my next salary and get some.
"Lisa! Lisa! Your wife is here! She is here!" Mr. Kinotaki, the supervisor of this scrap shop was screaming on his way inside. Am I hearing those words right? He can't be serious. But I realized, I showed him Jennie's picture on my wallet when we had a one on one Sake drinking session. And yes, Sake taught me how to drink without getting drunk anymore.
"Lisa! She's here." He was catching his breath when he reached me.
Then she pointed to the woman who just entered the shop.
She is here. My ex-wife.
But still so dashing. Beautiful in her simple shirt and jeans with a big backpack.
I looked at her straight in the eyes while my heart is crushing into pieces again. I felt like someone is choking me and I don't know what to say.
I missed her. I missed her so much. God knows how I want to have her in my arms.
She's even more beautiful now.
I stood up from a small chair, wiped my wet and rusty hands with a towel, used the sleeves of my shirt to wipe my perspiring face and walked towards her. She's still looking at me.
"Lisa." She said in a shaky voice, grasping for air. And there. Tears fell from her eyes.
"Jennie. Stop crying. How did you know where I am?" I asked in a relaxed tone. What else I can do? She found me.
She didn't answer my question.
"Have you eaten already?" I asked. Because she looked pale and it is 1pm already.
She just shook her head.
"Wait for me. Come, sit here. I'll just finish the last piece of metal then let's have lunch." I offered a chair and she sat. I came back to my work while she's there watching me. I tried not to look at her and just continued to scrub the rust.
When I was done, I reached for my bag that is hung on the wall. Since there's only Jennie and I, I took off my shirt facing my back to her, wiped my body and change my clothes.
"Let's go." I said and she followed my way.
When we reached my bicycle, I took a hat from my backpack and put it on her head. I placed my bag in the front basket of my bike. I took her huge backpack from her and wore it on my back. I rode the bike and positioned myself. I flipped the improvised wooden chair down on the top tube frame of my bike so she can sit.
And yes, here I am with my ex-wife in one bicycle.
During the ride, we didn't talk. But I could smell her scent that goes to my nose because of the air smashing some of her hair strands to my face.
Focus on the road, Lisa.
We reached Hara. I assisted her getting off the bike. I took my bag and still carried hers. When we entered the food house, Mr. Natsuo and Mrs. Ichika were shocked seeing Jennie. You won't believe it but their smile were so big welcoming her.
"The wife." Mrs. Ichika uttered looking at Jennie. Jennie smiled at her too.
"Good afternoon, Mr. & Mrs. Hara. This is Jennie." I introduced her and they started to entertain her.
"I'll place your bag first inside my room, Jen." I told her and went to my room.
I took a bath fast so Jennie won't wait longer. I will still prepare our lunch.
When I went out of the bathroom and entered my room, I can't believe she's already inside, staring on the wall where her and our twins' pictures were hung.
"Oh. I'm sorry. Mr. & Mrs. Hara just left and told me to go here first so I can rest."
She was startled when she saw me. I just nodded.
"Are you hungry already, Jen? Sorry. I'll cook. I'll just put on my clothes." I told her while putting on my underwear not taking off the towel from my body. I felt awkward while putting on my clothes.
"It's okay. Don't worry too much." She said.
After I prepared myself, I invited her outside because it was so hot inside my room. I am starting to cook soba already and some food that we will sell later.
She's there at the table, watching me while I cook. I tried not to stare at her.
When I was done, I asked her what she wants.
"What do you want? Soba? Ramen? Hotcakes? Tempura?" I asked.
"I want everything." She said in a cute face and I laughed. She has never changed. Still Jennie with the best appetite.
"Okay! Coming your way." I said.
While we're eating, she's staring at me from head to toe and stopped on my ring finger.
"Still wearing it?" She asked referring to our wedding ring.
"You too." My mouth pointed to her ring finger where she also wears our ring.
We continued eating.
"You have a place to stay?" I asked.
"Hmmm. None yet. Will you help me find one?" She asked.
"Okay. I will ask from the motel where I work later if there's an available room. Sorry. It's the only place here for tourists." I said and she nodded.
"But maybe we can do it later after my work here? This will be closed at 10pm and I will be opening it in a bit. You can rest in my room first." I said.
"Yeah, let's check it after we close this later. Can I help you serving the customers?" I raised my head and looked at her.
"Sure. If you want to." I said and she smiled.
I missed that smile of yours, Jennie Kim.
A lot of customers tonight and Jennie helped me getting the orders.
She's actually having fun. Some tourists noticed her and took a photo with her.
They're actually surprised when they saw me too with Jennie.
We closed the food house at exactly 10pm. I didn't accept orders beyond that time. I usually do accept sometimes but we still need to go to the motel and get her a room.
"Jen, let's bring your backpack already." I said while I enter my room and took her bag and she said yes.
"Also, it's just walking distance from here. Don't worry. You're with me. You'll be safe."I said and she smiled.
Before we left Hara, I packed some food. Jennie is still watching me. I don't know if we feel awkward with each other. We're just naturally talking and you know..casual. I carried her bag on my back and we left the place.
Before reaching the motel, we stopped by the abandoned rice store where I used to sleep. I will give the packed food to the family I used to share the place with.
"Good evening Mr. Satuke. I hope you're still up to eat these. By the way, this is Jennie." I introduced Jennie to them and handed him the plastic bag. It's so nice to see them smile.
"Lisa, someone has taken your place already." His wife said and pointed to where I used to sleep. I just smiled.
Jennie and I said our goodbyes to them and moved forward.
"You..you used to sleep there?" She asked in a sad tone.
I forgot my ex-wife can speak and understand Japanese.
"Hmmm. Yeah. I was lucky they allowed me and gave me newspapers as my sheets at night. Slept there for a month before Mr. & Mrs. Hara offered me the room at the food house." I told Jennie and then I saw her eyes watering.
"Hey. Don't cry. It's part of life, Jen." I told her while rubbing her back. I held her waist as we walk.
We arrived at the motel.
"Eiji, do you still have a room?" I asked my receptionist friend. She stared at Jennie.
"Your wife. Is this for real?" He asked, I just smiled.
"Yes, I'm her wife." Jennie said. I instantly looked at her.
Eiji is still checking if they have vacant rooms.
"Lisa, I'm sorry. No rooms available for now. But I will reserve one tomorrow morning. Is that okay?" Eiji said.
I looked at Jennie and she nodded.
"Is it okay with you if you sleep in my room tonight?" I asked her while my head looking at the ground.
"If it's okay with you, Lis. I think we can't find one tonight in the area." She said looking at me.
I nodded and we headed back to Hara.
As soon as we arrived, I opened the door and I placed her bag in my room.
She took a bath while I prepare coffee. I went outside and settled two chairs in front of the food house.
"Your coffee is waiting for you." I said when she went out and sat beside me.
The surrounding is so quiet since it's 11pm already. The only thing I can hear is us sipping our coffee and my heartbeat.
I noticed she took a deep breath.
"If you notice, the time here is moving so slow. But you know, I didn't notice I already live here for two years." I said in a soft tone.
She smiled. That smile again Jennie Kim.
"Tell me how you came here." She asked me.
"How do I start." I said.
It took a while for me to talk. She just looked at me and never gazed her eyes away from me.
"Well, yeah I told Mr. Tim not to tell anyone. He dropped me at Nagoya, didn't know where to go." I said and took a sip on my coffee.
"Why didn't you call?" She asked and her voice started to become shaky.
"When I arrived at Nagoya, I was so hungry. I only had few cash on me so I chose a small restaurant on the streets and I controlled myself not to use my cards for you not to trace my location." She nodded acknowledging my words.
"Then some bad guys took my luggage, my wallet, watch and my phone. Good thing I had a strong hold with my backpack and they didn't notice our wedding ring. Luckily, I put the cash I withdrew from the airport in the US on my backpack, so, I had a few."
I noticed Jennie is crying. I want to stop her from crying.
"I didn't know where to go. I just waited for a bus while reading the Japanese booklet I bought. I couldn't understand the signages until a bus going to Gifu arrived. Then I rode another bus and it brought me here."
"Lis, I am sorry. I am sorry for everything. I hope you will forgive me." She said while tears are falling from her eyes. My eyes are starting to become watery too.
"Forget about it, Jen. It's all in the past. We have our own lives now. I hope you are happy. All I want for you is to be happy." I said and yes, I am starting to cry. My heart remembers everything I have been through.
"I am really sorry, Lisa. I didn't give you a chance when you needed someone that time. But I looked for you. I swear, I looked for you." Jennie's voice is breaking down.
"I understand. But that time, the world was cursing me. Judging me. I didn't want them to talk bad things about you and the twins. So, I moved away." I said.
"I don't want them to grow up with people around them teasing that they're the children of a ra---" I said and I can't breathe anymore. She cut me.
"You're not. Your name has been cleared. I'm sorry I was so stupid not to believe in you. I was supposed to be the first one to listen to you but I was too selfish. I couldn't accept what I thought you did. It was too painful. I thought I was not enough for you."Jennie explained almost kneeling in front of me.
"Get up. Don't do that. Sit here." I lifted her and brought her back to the chair.
"It was my fault. Still my fault, Jen. If I didn't go out and had a drink it didn---" She cut me off again.
"It was my fault. If I only gave you a chance to explain yourself why you didn't tell me about my mother. It wouldn't happen. I'm sorry I didn't give you a chance to explain. I'm sorry I made you beg." She said.
"No. I should've stayed by your side that night. I was looking for a friend to talk to so I can ask for an advice how to make it up with you, but no one's there. But it's okay. I understood." I said and I felt my energy is almost gone.
Jennie is still crying. She can't stop herself.
"Cheating on you was never on my list, Jennie. If only I could bring back time, I would make everything right. I am sorry." I told her while looking blankly on the ground and tears are still falling from my eyes.
"I loved you. I loved you so much that when you asked for your freedom, I gave it to you. Because I didn't want you to suffer. Seeing you cry that time when I was reading the divorce paper broke my heart more than hearing those accusations." I said wiping my tears. I stood up and took a breath. Walking here and there.
"I am sorry, Lisa. I hope you can still forgive me." Jennie said and stood up coming close to me and hugged me from behind.
"You're already forgiven even if you don't ask for it, Jen." I said in a whisper tone.
"Come back to me. Please. Come back with me to New York." She said. I turned and faced her.
"I don't know if I can still live the life I used to have in New York. I don't know what face to bring when people see me there. This face of a bad person will never be removed from their memory, Jen. And I'm scared. What if another thing might happen? How I wish none. I have no one to run to again and I'll be all alone." I said cupping her face while just letting my tear fall.
"Yes, I am used to being alone here now. But I am contented with my simple life here. No judgements from people. They forgive me here whenever I did some flaws. I am just Lisa here living a simple life, having sincere friends and being not afraid whenever I walk in town. Because I know, people won't hurt me.
Jennie, I have loved you and I still do. I love you and the kids. But I was too hurt and this place healed me. I don't know if I'll be fine leaving." I said. Jennie leaned her head to my chest and sobbed. I hugged her. I hugged her so tight.
"Be happy, Jen. Be with someone who can make you really happy. Someone who will love you and the kids. Someone who can take care of you and who will not put you to shame. I will save up and maybe someday I can visit you and our kids for me to see them too if you'll allow me."
"I promise, I will hold you even tighter, Lisa. I promise to stick to our vows." Jennie said while I'm wiping her tears.
It was too painful. Everything kept flashing back. But having her here in my arms and feeling her heartbeat, smelling her fragrance and seeing her personally removed all my emptiness and the heavy load from my chest.
How ironic, the person who hurt you the most is still your tranquilizer in the end.
We didn't break our hugs. I waited for Jennie to stop crying. When I noticed she's calm already, I brought her to the room.
We went to bed to sleep; her head on my arm as her pillow and her arm on my waist. How I missed this.
"Good night, Jennie." I told her while rubbing her back. I can't believe the only girl I ever loved is right in my arms again.
"Good night, Lisa." She kissed me on the lips softly and slowly. It lasted for we don't know how long.
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Promise, walang nangyaring make up sex. Baka sa next chapter pa. Peace!