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Before you read this I would suggest you read the last upload for Harley and Paxton's story, if you haven't already. Because this chapter is all Logan and Paxton.
Chapter 17: Gone
Gone, never before in my life has one word caused me so much pain. But really I guess I should have expected it, I'd been too arrogant to think that she wouldn't leave. My mother might have been right when she said my arrogance would be my one fatal flaw. I should have realized how badly I'd truly screwed everything up, how badly I'd hurt her.
What I don't understand is neither one of us heard them leave, between the two of us we should have heard something. But we'd heard no sounds at all, both wallowing in our own self pity. Now they're both gone and I don't know what the hell to do to get them to come back. Of course Paxton's current drunken state isn't helping anything...
“Will you put the god damn beer down? Its not going to help anything, man, we need to figure out where they'd go.” Knowing Harley she'd talk Lexi into flying halfway around the world, without a second thought. No, she wouldn't go that far from Paxton no matter how pissed she is at him, for whatever the ass did this time. “What the hell did you even do?”
He hiccups, gulping down more alcohol. “I told her about Maria and the girls, then I fucked up and followed your example.” What did that mean? He followed my example, that makes no sense! Wait, ooh, now I get it. Please tell me he didn't do what I think he did.
“You stupid asshole! First you give me grief for being a moron and then you turn around and do the same thing, what's that about?” His eyes narrow on me, his upper lip curling up in a snarl.
“Don't even start that shit with me, Logan. This is as much your fault as it is mine. The only reason I told her it would be best for us to be apart was because I'm afraid I'll hurt her. You're afraid your old mistress might get jealous that you've dumped her for a new play toy, that's all it is.”
“Yes, I'm scared to death that Gloria might hurt Lexi, is that so freaking bad? Dammit, Paxton, how long ago was that? You were newly changed no one can control themselves right after the change.” Fighting with him isn't the smartest move, especially not when he's drunk.
“So you think the best way to protect her is to keep your distance? God, how stupid can you be?” He finishes off his beer and moves towards the kitchen to get another. “I mean did you ever once think that maybe by staying with her would protect her more?”
“Same to you, buddy. You've had how many years to learn to control yourself? Paxton no matter how angry you were with her, you wouldn't hurt Harley, she wouldn't let you. I'm scared to death that Gloria will hurt her, that I won't be able to protect her even when I'm with her. What do I do then?” My argument is falling apart all around me, the fact that I hadn't actually thought what I'd told her through is just plain annoying. The only reason I've survived so long is because I've thought things through, considered every possibility over and over and the one time I don't and I may have just lost her.
“Your argument sucks my friend, how the hell would staying away from her completely keep her safe? Especially from Gloria? Man, I don't know what you ever saw in her crazy ass.” A small lapse in my sanity, how else could I ever describe falling into her trap? I should have known better from the start, should have been grateful for what I'd had, not always craving more.
“Its the werewolf charm, Pax, it'll get you every time.” There's no need in telling him how stupid he was, how badly he'd screwed up, it'd only make me sound like a hypocrite. Never once had I ever thought things would turn out this way, the first day I'd laid eyes on Lexi I'd honestly thought things in my life were looking up and now look how they've gone. No matter how badly I think she'd be safer without me, after this, I won't be able to ever let her go.
“You're telling me, when was the last time you talked to Zack?” Its never a good thing whenever Paxton starts coming up with a plan, because it always ends up with a hell of a lot of people getting hurt, but at the moment I don't really care. We need to find the girls and once we do, Lexi is never leaving my side again, no matter how much she protests.
“A couple a months ago, he's the one that got me the job, why?” Zackariah Finch, the last time I heard that name the kid had managed to talk his way out of a murder charge and if Paxton's planning on enlisting his help then we're all in a lot of trouble. “Pax, Zack's a good kid but I don't think-”
“I'm not gonna ask him to help us find the girls, dummy, there's no way in hell he's getting anywhere near Harley, not after the last time.. I just wanna see if he can keep tabs on you ex lover for us while we track them down.” Neither idea sounds like a good one, there's no telling how much time it will take us to find the girls and I don't want Zack anywhere Gloria and her conniving mind.
“You think that's a good idea?” Of course he does, anything involving a good fight always sounds like a good idea to Paxton, why the hell did I even ask?
“No, she can be very persuasive, but what choice do we have? We need eyes on her while we find the girls and we better than our own little rat to do it?” I just nod at him and toss him my phone, waiting until he's out of the room before I toss a vase full speed at a wall, watching it shatter in slow motion. Why can't on thing in my life be easy? Things would be so much better off if I could just take Lexi away from here, just the two of on some remote island, no drama or crazy parents to cause us any trouble.
Of course I can't really blame anyone but myself, I could have stopped this all from happening years ago, if only I hadn't said 'yes'. I'd had a loving, pregnant wife, but I'd wanted more, loved the feeling that no one could control whatever I did, that I could get away with anything. And then came Gloria.
I'd been putty in her hands as soon as I'd introduced myself and she'd known it. Somehow she talked me into her becoming my mistress and things only went down hill from there. I'd trusted that she was content in only being my mistress, not my wife, but I had been wrong, so so wrong. I should've recognized the malicious glint in her eyes any time Noreen had been mentioned, any time anyone mentioned that she was nothing more than the girl on the side.
By the time I'd went away on the business trip, evidently, she'd had her plan all laid out, hiring a pack of rogues to kill Noreen and my child. She'd pretended to have been kidnapped and in my misery I'd gotten wasted one night and agreed to something I didn't understand. Despite my drunken haze that night I can remember it all so clear.
It'd been my brother's bachelor party and like the good best man that I was, no matter how dead I felt inside, I'd went and ultimately been the entertainment that night. The pub owner had kicked us out after midnight and rather than going home I'd stumbled down the alley ways, searching for somewhere to get more liquor.
I'd stumbled around a corner, emptied the contents of my stomach into a garbage can and when I'd looked up she'd been standing right in front of me, smiling almost smugly back at me when I'd frowned at her. I thought you were dead. She'd laughed, caught my arm and hauled me down the alley, farther away from anyone that could have seen us. I just needed to lie low for awhile, after Noreen's death-well I figured you would have blamed me. She'd been so convincing in her innocent act that, like the moron I am, I bought into it and allowed her to lead me to some deserted farmhouse.
You must be going through hell, losing your wife and child all at once. At the time her words had sounded concerned, like how a mother would talk a child, it wasn't until after I'd woken up shackled to a stone wall did I realize how much of her had been an act. She'd played the shy, innocent girl next door, but after she'd changed me the facade had fallen and I'd been sucked in to deep to care. All you have to do is say yes and I can make all your pain go away.
“Reliving the past won't help anyone.” I choke out a bitter laugh as he sits down on the couch beside me, still to caught up in my past to completely understand what he'd said. She made it sound like heaven, compared to the hell I'd been living in, made this life out to be something others should envy. When in reality I'd give anything to be able to go back and say 'no', to tell her to take her offer and stuff it. But then I wouldn't have met Lexi. “Man, you can't change it now, so there's no use in wondering what would have happened if you'd chosen differently.”
What would life have been like if I'd said no to her? Now, thinking of living in a world without Lexi seems too horrible to even contemplate, but the thought is there. In the back of my mind I wonder if I'd have been happy again in that life, if I had stayed human. Would have been able to get over Noreen's death, or would I have been doomed to a life of regret? Of always wondering if there was something more out there, something I was missing and didn't realize it.
“Would change the past if you could?” I don't know why I ask the question, but its out before I can think it through. Paxton's never liked talking about his past, always getting that haunted look in his eyes whenever its brought up, so I'd always left the subject alone, until he got wasted one night. But hell, we're already wallowing in our self pity, how much worse can it get?
“Yes and no.” He jerks a hand through his hair and glares at me, letting out a hard sigh. “Dammit Logan, I killed my wife, closest friend and daughters all in a fit of rage. Of course I'd want to go back and change things, but I wouldn't want to have missed the chance to meet Harley. Would I like to be human, to give her a normal life? Yea, but its not gonna happen, unless some genius asshole comes up with a cure for our curse.”
“That's the deciding factor isn't it. For you its Harley and mine would be Lexi, if they ever decide to talk to us again.” I grimace at the thought, there's no doubt in my mind that if Lexi spends too much time alone with Harley, there's no way either of us will get out of trouble without groveling on our hands and knees.
“Enough of the depression, we gotta find those two before they get into trouble. Knowing Harley they'll end up in jail or something.” The thought of Lexi in jail almost makes me laugh, but then I think of other guys touching her, putting her into handcuffs and my laughter dies just as quickly as it'd come up. If anyone's gonna be putting her in handcuffs its going to be me.
“Where would they go? They won't leave the country, Harley hates flying, but there's a million different places they could be.” Most likely the last place we'd expect would be where they went, but where the hell would that be?
“Not really, because there's some states Harley can't go to. Remember New York? She's still pissed that she can't ever go watch a show on Broadway, so that leaves us with the ones she'd actually want to go to.” He opens his laptop and turns it on. What good that will do I don't know.
“Yea, because that's a short list, Pax, she wants to go all over the place, maybe if you didn't keep her cooped up in that cabin all the time this wouldn't be happening.” Dammit, they won't get on a plane and there's only so many states Harley is allowed back into, but where the hell would they go? Where would Lexi want to go? The fact that I don't know the answer to that question is aggravating and Paxton's whistling isn't helping.
“Louisiana” I frown over my shoulder at him, to which he just grins widely back at me, rolling his eyes when I don't say anything. “New Orleans, Logan, Harley's never been and just before we got word that you'd found your mate she'd been begging me to go. And if Lexi's father is as anal as you described she hasn't either, its the perfect spot, Harley can eat all she wants and no one will say a thing. Its perfect.”
“Pax, they only have like a 3 hour head start, that means they're still on the road. Who knows where they are.” He snorts at me and shakes his head.
“Harley drives like she's running from something and now that they actually are, they'll be there sometime soon, trust me. So now all we gotta do is book a couple of plan tickets, find out what hotel they're staying at and talk them into coming home with us. Simple.” His overconfidence is frightening, because I have a feeling it won't be that simple and from the look in his eyes, he does too.
“Jewelry, girls always like to get jewelry, right? Yea and flowers and... chocolate, lots a chocolate. What else? Because you and I both know its not going to be as simple as asking 'please come home', there's no way. So what else do we get them?” God, my lack of knowledge where women are concerned is starting to become a headache. How do I get her to come back when she so obviously wanted to leave?
“Uh, a car? I don't know! I've never had to grovel before, man, one look and they forgive me. Why does Harley have to be so damned complicated? Its supposed to be simple! I say 'I'm sorry', she forgives me and we have make up sex, she's not supposed to skip town while I'm asleep!”
“Harley's not the only one that's complicated. Look we screwed this up so now we gotta fix it, even if it means sleeping on the couch for the next fifty years, got it?” He just nods, solemnly, worry lines creasing his forehead. I just hope they don't freak when we find them, they have to know we're going to be looking for them, right?
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Its not as long as I'd like it to be, but this is all for right now. The next chapter will be Lexi's p.o.v., but I don't know for sure when it'll be out. Things at home aren't the best right now and I don't have the time to write like I'd like to.
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