Staring inattentively out of her kitchen window as she weakly stirred a bowl of pancake mix and closely observing the reflection that stared back, Alice could barely recognise herself.
The aching and tired eyes, sadness clouding her make up free features, unwashed hair tied up in a messy bun and black velvet tracksuit that glared back served as a stark contrast to the fierce and gleaming, sharply dressed woman she knew so well, but the horror of grief and lack of sleep from absolute worry for her family would result in that.
Two nights in row she had woken from a brief slumber, hyperventilating and in extreme panic with sweat dripping all over her body as the thought of Hiram coming after her and her children plagued her mind and dreams.
She was on edge, the colour drained from her face as rapid coursed through her and she ground down on her pearly white teeth, a coping mechanism she had learned to replace gripping her fingernails into her palms.
Snapping out of her anxious gaze, she turned her head to find Betty staggering down the stairs, the young blondes arms tightly folded across her chest, her usually upbeat expression completely dull as she approached the kitchen island.
"Hey honey." Alice softly greeted, faking a smile in the process as she pushed through the racing torment in her mind.
Betty remained silent, her lips frowning as she pulled a stool out from underneath and took a seat.
"I made some pancakes. Chocolate chip, your favourite."
"I'm not hungry." Betty grumbled out, her narrowed and reddened blue eyes barely focusing on her mother as she fiddle with the fraying sleeve of her shirt.
Sighing sympathetically, Alice rested the mixing bowl onto the counter, before leaning over the kitchen island, pushing the plate of freshly made breakfast closer to the teen. It shattered her heart to pieces seeing Betty so broken. "Come on baby, you've gotta eat something"
There's a brief silence between the two as Betty slowly averts her gaze to her smiling mother, who was trying her hardest to keep her spirits up, but it wasn't enough, and before Betty knew it, she was bursting helplessly into a mess of tears. Her shaking sobs alarming Alice as she swiftly rose up from her leaning position and pulled her daughter into her arms, rubbing her back tenderly and smoothing her delicate hand through her light brown and red highlighted hair.
The hyperventilating only seemed to subside with this comforting motion, and while Betty would never admit it out loud, but these were the only coping mechanisms to help her through a rough patch. Alice however, was well aware of this anyway, but she found it touching how tough and independent Betty could be while still finding solace and peace in the arms of her mother.
Slowly but surely, the heart breaking sniffles and hiccup like cries were no more, and Betty calmly relaxed herself in her mothers embrace as her tears stained Alice's shirt, but she didn't mind, not one bit, because didn't matter how old Betty and Polly were, Alice still saw them as her baby girls, her pride and joy, the reason she breathed. It was sole duty to love and protect them with her all, and she had no shame in upholding that forever.
The ringing of Alice's cellphone gained their attention as Betty slowly unlocked her arms from around her mother and lifted her head off of her chest, allowing her to make her way to the charger port on the other side and answer the device.
She listened attentively to the call, a blank but responsive expression dawning her face as Betty only observed the seemingly rhythmic head nods, no doubt in response to order. It must've been serious.
"Who was it?" Betty wondered out loud with narrowed eyes filled with curiosity glaring towards her mother.
"It was the police." Alice disclosed softly, tapping the edge of her cell phone into the palm of her hand. "They're releasing your Dad's body tomorrow, so we can finally lay him to rest."
The teen's brows knit together, mild confusion overtaking her features upon hearing her mothers revelation. "Wouldn't they call me? I'm his only real family."
"Usually, yeah, but you're not 18 yet so, I'm technically next of kin."
The minor defeat that grew over Betty's oval pale face had Alice's shattered heart sink to pits of her stomach, and she was finding it even harder to paint on a smile of strength and support for the young girl. All she wanted to do in that moment was take her pain away, however, it wasn't an option, and she had to deal with it the best way she could.
"But that doesn't mean you can't take charge of the funeral plans." Alice gently proposed in support, stroking the tears away from her cheeks and shifting the loose strands of hair out of her face. "There's so much to be done."
"Like what?" Betty challenged in a sniffle.
"Like the casket, burial or cremation, the wake. Maybe FP could let us use the Wyrm." She hoped, concluding with a understanding smile.
"What about music?" Betty wondered innocently, her formerly disheartened expression switching to one of focus, and the change didn't go unnoticed by Alice, as it was exactly the reaction she hoped for.
She thought giving Betty the idea of putting her energy into the planning her fathers funeral would at least soften the blow to her fragile little heart and bring her some peace.
"Sure. What kind were you thinking?"
"Every Breath You Take." Betty announced in a soft tone, the corner of her lips curling into a smile as she cast her mind back to memories of Brody singing the Police song with such pride but very poor tone. "It was his favourite song. I think he'd want that played at some point."
"Okay." Alice agreed, resting a comforting hand on top of her daughter's. "What else?"
"A grey suit. He always said-"
"Black made him look fat." Betty & Alice simultaneously added with a giggle as she mimicked her former late flame.
"How are we gonna pay for it?" Betty wondered. She wanted Brody to have the best service money could buy but funerals were expensive, and her mothers budget would barely cover the cost of a casket. "Maybe I should use my winnings-"
"The heck you will." Alice softly demurred, "You leave this all to me, okay?" She insisted, briefly taking her palm to Betty's soft face, letting go shortly after as the young girl nodded in agreement with minimal smile.
"Now where's your sister? Breakfast is getting cold." Alice obstructed as she turned to approach the stove and return to her cooking.
"She left already."
"What?" Alice faltered in a tone laced with terror, abruptly whipping her head around to glare at her youngest. Her diamond blue eyes gaping with dilated pupils, feat overtaking her features as her breaths quickened and she tried her hardest to suppress it.
"Yeah, she went to school anyway." Betty confirmed before examining her Alice's sudden concerning response leaving her puzzled.
Naturally, Alice's expression left her unsettled. Sure she had told the both of them to stay home after the news of Brody's death as they needed to grieve properly, but it wasn't like Polly had defied her strict rulings to attend a party, it was just school.
However, Alice had failed to disclose the real reason behind her seemingly misplaced anger and wanting the girls to remain indoors. With Hiram on the loose and on the rampage, possibly aware of her whereabouts, she couldn't take the risk of any of her daughters being out alone or unsupervised.
Alice released a sharp breath, gathering herself together and masking her anxious behaviour as she took her trembling hands and ran them through her loose bun before making a beeline for the front door and reaching for her car keys on the mantle.
"Mom, what's wrong?!"
The muscles in her her face tightened as she whipped her around to find her daughter filled with worry. Her mouth fell dry as the Sahara before taking a mild gulp and stepping towards Betty, wanting to assure her everything was going to be okay.
"Nothing, honey." Alice faltered with a tight smirk on her face, becoming more flustered and jittery by the second. "I've just gotta pick up your sister, okay?"
Betty calmly folded her pale arms over her chest in thought, still unconvinced that there wasn't a problem despite her mothers grand act. She knew in her gut that Alice was withholding something from her, and Alice would be lying if she didn't see it in the teen's eyes.
Their brief stare off was interrupted by the crying sounds of Tyler upstairs, leading Betty to reluctantly leave her mother's presence and proceed up stairs.
"Just stay indoors, okay?" Alice sternly instructed as she returned to doorway. "And lock the door after I leave!"
Despite the firm demand to Betty, Alice pulled her front door tightly shut as she stepped out onto the porch, her vigorous trembling hand reaching for the lock and twisting her key through the hole to secure the lock before rushing off to her car in a slight panic as her mind raced with thoughts over the worst when it came to Polly, and she couldn't erase them no matter how hard she tried.
Slamming her car door shut and carelessly placing her purse onto the passenger seat, the
powerful buzzing sounds of her cell phone vibrating abruptly pulled her out of her thoughts, and suddenly on higher alert, she took the brief second to answer to device, confusion dawning over her face as the number that appeared on the home screen was nameless, and only a withheld title in place with no digits in sight but it didn't stop her from swiping the green button.
"Hello?" Alice faltered, pressing the device close to her ear, but there was no clear response, no words spoken, just a odd a crackling and dial tone followed by a click.
Her thick brows furrowed, emphasising the puzzled expression set on her face upon hearing the peculiar noise, but the innocent bewilderment lasted briefly, only for Alice's rampant paranoia to kick in and hit her like a tonne of bricks, the realisation of Hiram being on the other end and sending some sort of sick message that he was coming for her, and she couldn't escape him no matter how hard she tried.
•••
Having situated herself in her usual hiding place under the bleachers, securely out of sight from the anybody present in the schools football field, Polly took a much a need breath of relief, calmly inhaling the aroma of freshly cut grass and the blooming Spring flowers, her mind elsewhere as she desperately tried to escape reality for just a moment.
"If my Dad catches you here it's an automatic suspension." Cara softly warms from a few yards away, being cautious and considerate of Polly's need to be left alone.
"Think I care?" The tall blonde abysmally chuckles, staring into space. "I've had more suspensions than I've had breakfasts."
"How ya holding up?"
Polly had been asked that question and many variations of it over the past few days, and every time she was at a list of words, completely speechless, because how exactly was she supposed to respond when she didn't have a clue how she was feeling or truly processing this in the first place. It was her first experience with the death of a loved one, and to describe it as overwhelming was an understatement.
"I don't even know." She confessed shrugging her shoulders with wide eyes and staring blankly out into the green fields as her splayed fingers covered her face with one hand. "Just trying to be strong for Betty, my Mom. She acts like she's got it all together but, I know she's falling apart. I think he was the only guy she ever truly, loved. He may not have been my dad, but it was the closest thing to a normal family I had."
Upon finally hearing her girlfriends reluctant reveal on her feelings about Brody's death, Cara's glossed lips sulked into a sympathy filled frown, her chestnut brown eyes drooping laced with empathy before she gracefully tucked a strand of her short blonde locks behind her pale ear, tilting her head into hers and pressing them together as her hand snaked around Polly's shoulders, the blonde gladly embracing her girlfriends support and comfort as shown in her willingly edging herself into Cara's body, feeling her warmth slowly calm her and bring her peace.
Their relationship had blossomed into something special over the past couple of months and Polly really felt like she could count on her, and by no means did she ever want this to end.
The sounds of screeching tyres coming to an aggressive halt gained the loved up couples attention, their heads disconnecting as Polly abruptly lifted her head off of Cara's shoulder once she recognised the out of control cat as her mothers, her brows knitting together in confusion as Alice fiercely exist the vehicle, slamming the door and storming around it with an unsettling scowl over her face and her ocean blue eyes flashing with rage as she approached the schools football field from across the street, only to be stopped by the rather high fence that separated the public street and the school grounds.
"Mom?" Polly wondered out loud as she stood from the railing she had been occupying.
"Get in the car Polly!" Alice sternly instructed her eldest with a firm finger pointing her way. "NOW!"
The teen reluctantly gathered her belongings, swinging her purse over her shoulder before lightly jogging over to where Alice was, crouching down to move under the fence before being met with Alice firm grasp on her forearm as she practically dragged her over to the truck, wildly confused by her mother's strange and oddly frantic behaviour but she didn't dare question it.
By the time the pair had reached the house, Alice's panic was already at an all time high, and her shifty and jittery behaviour was beginning to worry her daughters, especially as another silent call on the way home had increased Alice's unexplained panic.
After stepping through the threshold with Polly, she slammed the front door, locking it twice over with her house key and frantically bolting it up before making a beeline towards the windows in the living area, aggressively twisting the blinds closed and drawing the curtains, completely oblivious to the wildly puzzled stares from her daughters in the distance.
"Mom, why are you locking all the doors?" Betty enquired with an arched brow as she slowly stepped towards Alice.
"Because I pay rent!" Alice snapped back, startling the teen a little before making a sharp beeline for the back door by the kitchen, reaching for the key on the counter top beside it and double locking it as well.
"You own the house Mom." Polly fired back with a narrowed glare.
"Do not sass me right now, either of you!" Alice hissed, returning to the living area, pulling out her purse and briskly searching through it, resorting to emptying the contents out onto the sofa to retrieve her cigarettes, the only substance that was going to completely calm her in that moment. "I know I don't always act like it, but I'm the grown up here. Just trust me, okay?" She finished one a plea, popping the cigarette into her mouth and lighting it immediately.
"Last time that happened we ended up homeless." Betty reminded her, her frail voice laced with disappointment forcing Alice to turn around and face her daughters finally.
Her heart broke as their abundant frustration and concern struck her like a chord, and the stern realisation of her reckless actions and her family suffering the consequences of it all hitting her like a tonne of bricks.
If there was one thing she never wanted to be, it was a disappointment to her children, despite all the hardships she was faced with and the difficulties that came with motherhood such as struggles to provide, but she always wanted to be a hero in their eyes and someone they could be inspired by, and her secrecy and lack of communication out of care and concern wasn't helping and proved to never be effective. The only way they were going to get through this was trust
"You're right." Alice faltered, her head bowing down as she stepped closer towards them. "I haven't been honest with you two, but that changes now."
The innocent and attentive expressions that dawned Betty and Polly's faces as the two sat down into the couch opposite remained stuck in Alice's mind, and it was quite the alarming wake up call, that she desperately needed.
Alice rested her trembling hands on top of her lap, inhaling in a deep but nerve wracking breath before revealing all.
"Someone, murdered your father, okay?" Alice reluctantly disclosed, feeling a weight finally lifted off her shoulders, but the pinch of relief she felt slowly began to fade as she watched Betty and Polly's attentive faces switch to pure distress.
"Wait-" Betty interjected frantically. "Do you know who did it?"
A regret filled nod was all Alice could muster up in that moment, and as prepared to say the rest, she took a moment to ponder on the circumstances, realising that perhaps it was best to keep some of what she knew to herself.
"You know the trouble your Dad always got into and the people he got mixed up with, but, this is someone who is really bad and dangerous, someone who could come for us. And that's all I'm going to say for now because the less you both know the better. Just the thought of anything happening to you two or Tyler scares me to death. That's why I've been so on edge."
"You really think, these people are gonna come after us?" Polly feared as her big blue eyes locked with her mother's. Vulnerability was something Polly seldom shared or expressed, and the stark contrast from the moody and brooding teenager act was an alarming surprise to Alice.
"Yeah." Alice calmly confirmed. "And that's why we've gotta be careful. I'm sorry, I should've told you sooner."
Taking Alice by surprise, both girls rose from the couch and sat on either side of their mother, sympathetic smiles dawning their faces.
"Mom, it's fine. We get it, you're just trying to protect us." Betty assured her understandingly.
Alice's face lit up in pride before pulling both girls in for a hug. "I love you both so much."
•••
She was sat alone in the dark with the curtains drawn, the room devoid of much light and warmth, feeling a looming presence of a dark cloud sat firmly above her as she drowned her sorrows in the amber liquid held in the glass between her fingers and thumbs, and with Polly and Betty secured to their rooms, she was left nothing but the deafening silence and her racing panic filled thoughts to occupy her.
The chirping sound of her singing doorbell abruptly snapped her out of her ill thinking. She cautiously and carefully rose from the armchair she was seated on, creeping steadily towards the front door.
"Who is it?!"
"It's FP."
She relaxed her tense stature the second she heard his voice, releasing the bated breath she was holding and clenching her eyes shut in relief before unlocking the bolt and allowing him to walk through.
"Hey, I've been trying to call." FP warmly informed her, stepping past her as she briskly closed the door. "How ya doin'?"
"Wait, that was you?" Alice questioned, reverting back to the mysterious calls she had been receiving all day. "They were unknown."
"Yeah, I called from the landline at the Wyrm."
"Oh." She shyly faltered, bowing her head as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, avoiding any and all eye contact with him.
FP could tell by her shifty and jittery movements and reluctance to look him in the eye that something was bothering her, and it was deeper than losing an ex. The shine of her ocean blue orbs and frowning of her plump pink lips indicated that much, and he wanted to get down to the bottom of what was bothering her. He carefully approached her, gently placing his hands on her exposed and visibly taut shoulders.
"Baby, what's going on?" He asked her tenderly, staring deep into her lost and tear filled sapphire blue eyes as he applied comfort to her tense shoulders, wanting nothing more than to get down to the bottom of her pain.
Her soft pink lips tightened into a straight line, trembling slightly as she tried her hardest to hold back the pending sob she felt building up inside her. "I can't." She croaked, shaking her head in shame before clenching her watery eyes tight shut and bowing her head to avoid his gaze.
He tilt her head upward, forcing her look him in the eye. "Alice, you can tell me. Nothing you've done is gonna change the way I feel about you, I swear."
"Hiram killed Brody." She finally revealed in breaking and breathless sobs, bowing her head once again as the indignity was too much for her to face him.
FP furrowed his thick stern brows and parted his lips in brief ponder as the name instantly rang a bell.
"Hiram? Wait, the guy who-"
"Used and abused me and pimped me out?Yeah, him." Alice quickly affirmed with a pitying chuckle, wiping a fallen tear and slowly stepping out of his embrace and walking further away. "And it's all my fault." She cried out in a heightened tone.
FP made a quick beeline towards his distressed girlfriend, tugging on her shoulder immediately and forcing her to turn around, his face turning soft as his comforting hands tenderly rubbed her forearms in support.
"Hey, come on now. How is it your fault?"
"I stole half a million from him to leave Boston and buy this house." Guilt and regret surged through her as she finally made that revelation to him, and it was the one thing she was dreading. She cared about FP deeply, he was the one man in her life who made her feel worthy and so much more, but the possibility of him being disappointed in her was unbearable, and she had no idea how she was going to handle it if it came down to that, so she desperately tried to hold onto him and plead to him in anyway she could to make him understand.
She subconsciously clutched the smooth material his leather jacket, trying to keep him as close by as possible and prevent him leaving. It was the last thing she needed right now, and she couldn't nate losing anybody else, especially somebody who mattered so much to her. "He killed Brody and made sure we knew about it as soon as possible to send a message and he could be anywhere right now, tracking us down, coming after us. I can't put the girls through that, we're gonna have to run and-"
"That's not gonna happen, you hear me?" FP assures her sternly, his soft eyes falling under a more serious and concerned light as she gazed deeply into them.
"But if he finds me, what am I gonna do?" Alice quietly shrieked in sobs. "You don't understand what I've done FP, you don't understand what I- I'm responsible for."
Without missing a beat, FP firmly held onto her shoulder and pulled his frantic and vulnerable broken into his body, his protective burly and veiny arms wrapping around her small frame as she leaned against his toughened chest, letting her tears soak his t shirt as she fully gave into him and his support and her cries slowly fade.
"I just don't want you want to be ashamed of me." She cried, muffling into his shirt.
"Shhh, it's okay, it's okay." He comforted assuringly, running his hand through her midnight black locks as she cried and shuddered in his safe embrace, his lips tenderly kissing the side of her head as he held her tighter. "I could never be ashamed of you. You don't have to worry about a thing while I'm here alright, I'm gonna protect you, I promise."