Katsuki's POV:
After visiting Recovery Girl, Aizawa walks the three of us to the front of the school. "You want me to take you three home?" He asks. I look at the other two and tell them, "You can go if you want. Carrying around a big bag towards a place that isn't your house is probably annoying." They both shake their heads no. "No thank you Sensei," Halfie says. "Yeah, thanks for the offer teach, but I'll pass too," Dunce Face agrees. Mr. Aizawa just nods.
"See you here tomorrow. Get lots of sleep," he says, directing the last thing at me. I nod and we part ways, him going back to wherever he was going and us to my house. Maybe I should check my messages to see if my parents are home or not. I dig my phone out of my pocket and go to my messages. There are just a few from my dad which is a little weird, but that's just my anxiety talking.
Dad👌🏼🖤: Katsuki, something has happened to your mother. Get back to me as soon as you can.
Yesterday at 7:45 pm
2 missed calls from 'Dad👌🏼🖤'
Dad👌🏼🖤: Katsuki answer me now
Yesterday at 7:49 pm
Dad👌🏼🖤: This is not a joke, answer my call
Yesterday at 7:49 pm
Dad👌🏼🖤: Just call me when you see the messages
Yesterday at 7:50 pm
Dad👌🏼🖤: Why are you ignoring me? Your mom is in bad condition, but she'll pull through just so you know. Not that you care
10:00 am
I just stare at the messages. What happened to my mom? Is she in the hospital still? Where did the accident happen? Was it here or was it in the destination of their work trip? Do they hate me? Why did I mute their messages? I shouldn't have done that. Now they think I hate them. They probably hate me for not answering. I'm a horrible kid. I'm not a good son.
"Bakugo? Hey, man, what's wrong?" Kaminari's voice sounds distant but worried. I look up at him slowly then turn to see Halfie also staring at me in concern. "Hey, come on, tell us what's wrong," Todoroki says. I shake my head and swallow the lump in my throat. They'll judge me for being an ungrateful child. A spoiled brat who ignores their parent's messages.
"Bakugo, what happened? Just take deep breaths," Kaminari says, trying to calm me down. Halfie gets closer to me. "Can I touch you?" He asks. I shake my head. They wouldn't want to even look at me when they find out how much of a horrible child I am. My parents waste their money on me and I can't even open a message? How fucking stupid can I be? What if my mom doesn't get better? What if she's permanently hurt? And I was ignoring them while trying to have fun.
I see my vision get blurry as my eyes start to burn. Tears fall down and I let out a choked sob, covering my mouth quickly as I crouch down to hug my legs. I leave my bags at my side and just cry into my legs. I don't even care that they're seeing me like this. It doesn't matter. They know I'm completely fucked up already, so like what's new? It's nothing they haven't seen before. Hell, they've seen worse. They've had to bring me back to life after I tried to kill myself.
I look up to see them both crouched down next to me and their mouths are moving, but I can't hear anything coming out of their mouths. My ears are ringing loudly and I can't breathe. The ringing is so loud. It makes my head pound and I can't focus on anything but the ringing.
I cover my ears, trying to block out the ringing, but it doesn't help. My chest feels like it's in fire. The cold air is burning my lungs. It's all too much. I can't deal with this. I can't. "I can't," I whisper. I hope they take that as an answer for now. I can't seem to say anything else. It's just hard.
I make eye contact with Kaminari and he looks terrible. I made him feel terrible. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I made him feel bad. "I'm sorry," I tell him. Todoroki claps loudly in my face and I freeze. Everything stops and I snap out of whatever I was in. I hear my breathing, it's horrible. "Bakugo, are you with us now?" Todoroki asks. His voice sounds concerned and I nod.
Kaminari let's out a relived breath and he falls back onto his butt, sitting down in front of me. He crosses his legs and just takes one of my hands. "What happened man? You completely flipped out. I was scared," he admits. "I'm sorry." He shakes his head, waving it off. "Don't say sorry man. Just get better, yeah?" I nod at what he says and look over at Todoroki. "My mom was I an accident," I say quietly. It's silent and I look back down. Kaminari squeezes my hand. He has my left hand, so it's pretty much okay. My right hand is mostly healed, but it's still in pain. Healing the whole thing at once would've knocked me out.
"My dad just told me to call him as soon as possible and that was yesterday. She could've died overnight and I would've barely found out right now just because I turned off their notifications. Just because I was being selfish. They probably hate me. My mom is probably dead. What if she's dead? I didn't even get to tell her anything. I-" I stop, feeling a lump form in my throat as I get choked up. "No, let's call your dad, yeah? Let's see right now," Todoroki says, reaching his hand out for me to hand him my phone.
I hesitantly hand it to him, scared of what I'll hear. "He said that he thinks I don't care," I say. I sound like I'm about to break down crying again. "He doesn't mean it. Just breathe. Stay calm," Kaminari says as Todoroki looks for my dad's contact. He looks at me, waiting for my 'go' before he does anything. U take a deep breath and nod. He taps twice and then I hear the ringing. He out it on speaker.
It rings twice before he answers. "Katsuki? What is your problem? You didn't answer and now you call? You're such a spoiled brat. I can't believe you're my son. Jesus, I'm so disappointed in you. Glad go see you called. Maybe you do care. Your mom is asleep. She's been in and out, but she'll pull through. She'll be able to go back home next week if she wakes up by tomorrow. We're in town. I'll be at the house in a few hours. I expect to see you there," he states. I feel my chest cave in as fresh tears begin falling. I clear my throat and get closer to the phone.
"Of course I care. How is she?" I ask, voice normal. Kaminari looks surprised at my leveled voice and Todoroki just looks sad. "I'm sure you care," he says sarcastically. "She'll be fine like I said before. We won't know anything for sure until she wakes up and they run more tests. We were driving and we stopped to get some gas. I ran inside to pay while she stayed in the car. While I was paying, a truck slammed into our car. She might not be able to walk for a while," he says, sounding angry. My dad usually never gets angry. That's my mom's job. She's the one who yells at me. Not my dad.
I bite my lip to prevent a sob from coming out and I take a deep breath once again. "Tch, she better not be severely hurt. See you in a few hours," I grumble out, usual tone present. Todoroki hangs up and I finally let myself cry out. "He thinks I don't care. What kind of horrible son do they think I am? I'm so sorry. I just didn't want to think about them for a while. Just a little bit. I'm sorry," I say, apologizing to no one here. I grip at my chest and hunch over as I cry. "I'm sorry," I whisper at the floor. I'm so sorry.
"Bakugo, it's not your fault. They cause you so much stress. It's okay to have been fed up with them. I'm the same way. You couldn't have predicted this. If you did know this was gonna happen, you wouldn't have muted them. You know that, so don't beat yourself up," Kaminari says, on the verge of breaking down.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm bringing up bad memories for you," I sob out. He just rubs my back. "It's okay man, just try to calm down," he says, trying to comfort me. Todoroki also sits down on the floor and I let myself fall too. This is too much. I can't handle this much. I need to get away. I shake my head and out it in my hands. My fingers thread through my hair and I tug harshly. I need to get away.
"No, stop that," Todoroki says, putting his hands on top of mine. "You don't need to get away. Stay here. Stay with us, we've got you," Todoroki tries. I look up at him, tears blurring my vision. "I'm so messed up. I'm sorry," I whisper. I sniffle and turn to Kaminari when he sighs.
"I was like this too Bakugo. Are you calling me messed up too? I'm sure you wouldn't call me that if you saw me, so don't go calling yourself that too," he says. He's right, I wouldn't call him messed up. Never. Well, not if I wasn't playing.
I nod at what he says, but I can't help but feel horrible and disgusting. I need to feel pain. Physically. "I'm sorry," I say again. "Stop saying sorry. There's nothing you should apologize for. You haven't done anything wrong," Todoroki says. He's wrong. I have done a whole bunch of things that I shouldn't have. "Liar," I say. He stops. "What?" They both ask at the same time. "Liar," I repeat. "What do you mean Bakugo?" I look down at my hands.
"I feel like shit for putting them on mute. Yeah, if I knew I wouldn't have done that, but anything could happen at anytime. I know that, but I was just being selfish and muted them anyway. I hurt you guys. I made Kaminari think about his hard past. Same with you. I tried to kill myself and you guys were the ones who has to save me. You saw me dead. Even if it was for a little bit. You guys were the ones who had to desperately try to save me. I'm sorry. And then even after that, I hurt myself. I did it behind your backs and I lied to you guys. I'm not worthy of being around you, but I don't want you guys to leave. Please don't leave me. I won't blame you if you did though. I'm sorry," I say. I'm really sorry. I'm so so so so sorry.
"Bakugo," Kaminari says right after I finish, "Stop putting everything on yourself. Calm down. Just breathe." I nod, trying to breathe correctly. "Let's talk at your house. We're halfway there. It's cold out and I don't want any of us to catch a cold. It'll also be better to talk where we're comfortable," Todoroki says, standing up. I nod, not looking up at him because I'm scared that I'll be met with disappointed eyes. I stand up too and they grab my bags for me again. No, I should do that. They've already done too much for me. I hate myself.
"Let me," I say, reaching out so that they give me my bags. I don't see them, but I'm sure they're shaking their heads. "No," Kaminari says. "Please," I say, sounding desperate. It makes me cringe. There's silence before I see my bags being handed to me. I take them and follow the two as they start walking. I feel scared to look up at them. I'm just not ready. They hate me. They definitely hate me. I'm so selfish. They want me to die. I should just di- no. No no no. They don't want that. They're good people. They wound lie to me. They're not like that. Never.
I shake my head, trying to stop thinking. I just need to stop. I let out a shaky breath. Half from being cold and half from pure anxiety coursing through my body. I can't stop thinking about how much they probably get annoyed with my same old problems. They are nice people, but they need a break too. They can leave without being the bad guys. I mean, I wouldn't blame them. I don't deserve them. They're too good for me.
"Bakugo, we're here," someone says. I snap my head up and see that we're in front of my house. Wow, that was fast. How long was I zoned out? Are they looking at me weird? Do they just wanna leave? "You can go," I say, digging through my pockets for my keys. When I grab a hold of them, I take them out and quickly unlock the door. I open my door and walk in, turning around to see if they're actually going to leave. I don't look up, just at their feet. I wait, but they just stand there. I can't look up. I'm too scared. "Bakugo, we're not leaving. Scooch over so we can pass," Todoroki says. I finally take a breath and move over a little. I'm pathetic.
We start walking upstairs and each step feels harder than the last. I don't want to talk. I can't. It hurts too much. I feel my knees, back, jaw, shoulders, and head ache. When we get to my room, I drop my bags right next to my bed and hide under the covers, burying my face into my pillow before I let myself completely fall apart. My cries are loud and I shake as loud sobs escape my lips. I take ragged deep breaths and cry into my pillow again. I take a deep breath, and wipe away the tears quickly. I sit up and sniffle, clearing my throat as I do so. I look towards the two that are standing at the edge of my bed. I don't look up at them, I just know that they're looking at me.
I forced my tears and sobs to stop. "I'm okay now," I say. They both sigh and take off their shoes before sitting on the bed. That reminds me that I still have mine on. I take off my shoes too and toss them aside. I cross my legs and wait for them to say something. "So you're just going to lie to us? You're obviously not okay. You suck at lying," Kaminari says.
"Bakugo, look at us," Todoroki chimes in. I feel my anxiety spike again and I shake my head. I can't do that. "No," I whisper. "Why won't you look at us?" Kaminari asks.
"I can't. I-I'm scared," I breathe out shakily. "Why are you scared? We aren't going to do anything," Halfie says. I shake my head, slouching towards and cluching my chest. "I don't know. I just can't push this feeling away. I can't. I can't," I strain out.
"I feel so pathetic. I just can't," I say, voice breaking halfway through. "I'll get you a water bottle," Todoroki says, getting off the bed to the closet to get a water bottle. Kaminari scoots all the way to me and opens his arms. I fall into them instantly. "You're okay. You'll be okay," he soothes, rubbing his hand up and down my back. I feel like crying again. I want to cry and never stop. That's how heavy my chest feels.
"Talk to us," he begs. "My chest feels heavy. I hate myself. I hate myself because sometimes I hate my parents. And now my mom is hurt," I whisper. Todoroki had sat next to us, so I'm sure he heard. "It's not your fault. You didn't want this. Now drink," he says, handing me the bottle of water. I grab it and pull away from Kaminari. I open it and chug half of it before closing it back up. "What if it is my fault? I can't help but feel like it is. I just can't shake the feeling. And they think I don't care. How could they think I don't care. I care. I care so much," I cry. "We know you do. You don't have to tell us that. It's obvious that you care, but you have to stop beating yourself up about it. You can't do this to yourself," he reasons.
My phone lights up and I look at it. It's my dad. I grab my phone and look over at the two on my bed. "Speaker?" Kaminari asks. I shrug and then answer, putting it on speaker. There's raspy breathing and my mind thinks about a million things. Is my dad hurt? Is he that mad? Is he drunk? Is h- "I hate you." Then the phone goes back to the home screen. That was my mom. Sh-she said. She said that. She hates me.
My mom hates me. She hates me. She hates me. She hates me. She said that. And they heard her say that. "Get out," I say. They need to leave. I have to be alone. I don't want anyone here. I need to fall apart without anyone seeing. I need this.
"What? Bakugo no. We're no-" "LEAVE," I yell, voice cracking again. I start crying again. Why am I crying so much? I'm such a fucking loser. They know how fucking pathetic I am. Crying all the time. My parents hate me. I'm so fucking pathetic and useless.
I don't make any noise, I just move away from them as tears stream down my face. I get to the corner of my bed and face the wall, looking at it. She hates me. Why am I even still alive? They hate me. My own mother hates me. The woman who gave birth to me. If my own mom hates me, what does that say about everyone else? She's my fucking mom. That means that everyone else must hate me.
I hear them shuffle awkwardly, not knowing what to do. "I'm calling Mr. Aizawa," Kaminari says. I don't care. He can come. He doesn't care. They all hate me. It doesn't matter. It doesn't.
"Mr. Aizawa?... Yeah... It's Bakugo... Yes... At his house... Okay, bye."
"Leave," I say again. My voice is still barely above a whisper. I don't care anymore. Just leave me alone. I want to be alone. Everyone always leaves me alone. Cause no one cares. Everyone hates me. I hate me too. I don't blame them. It doesn't matter. Cause I should be dead. Nothing matters. No, that's not true because everything matters to me. Everything. Everything matters. Why do I care so much? I should stop caring. Everything would be so much better if I didn't care.
I stare at the wall as tears continue streaming down my face. "Bakugo, Aizawa is coming," Kaminari tells me. He's coming all this way just for me. This is too much. He shouldn't care this much. "I'm sorry," I whisper. "What did you say?" Todoroki asks, leaning closer to hear what I said. I can feel the bed dip as he gets closer.
"I'm sorry," I repeat. "Don't be sorry. Just stop shutting us out. Talk," he says. I shake my head. I can't. I don't want to. "Okay," he says and then lies down on the bed next to me. He pulls me to him and turns me around. I just let him. He might leave me by the end of today, so I need to take advantage of this.
He wraps his arms around me and my head rests on his chest. Tears just fall as I stare at the other side of my room. I don't deserve him. I don't deserve Kaminari. I don't deserve Aizawa. I don't deserve to be happy. "I'm sorry," I say again. Todoroki just squeezes me tighter. "Stop saying that," he says, voice getting shaky. I feel him shift slightly and I look up to see him looking over at Kaminari worriedly. I look back down quickly. I don't want to see him look down at me. I don't want to see the disappointment in his eyes.
"Hey man, you can't do this. Don't do this to us. We care about you. Tell us what you need," he begs, going to the side of the bed and crouching down so that he meets my eyes. I shut them tightly, not wanting to meet his. "Bakugo open your eyes. Look at me. Why won't you look at us?" Kaminari cries. I feel a pang in my chest and I slowly open my eyes.
His eyes are full of tears and worry. No hatred. No disappointment. No pity. Just sadness and concern. "That's good. Just look at me. Can you talk to us?" He asks and I both hear and feel Todoroki let out a sob. Guilt. That's what washes over me. I don't deserve them. They're too good for me. I comfort Todoroki by squeezing him. He does the same and holds my head and back firmly.
"I-Im sorry," I choke out. I'm still looking at Kaminari, but I'm apologizing to both of them. "It's okay, just wait for Mr. Aizawa to get here. He should be here soon. I gave him hour address," he says. I just nod once and reach an arm out for Kaminari. He gladly takes it and let's himself cry. "You're scaring me. I know you feel horrible. I just hate seeing you like this," he says. I'm sorry Kaminari. I'm sorry.
There's a knock downstairs and I tense up, thinking it's my dad instantly. But my dad wouldn't knock. He as a key. This is his house. I relax instantly when Kaminari says, "It's Aizawa." He stands up, letting go of my arm and rushes downstairs. I hear them talking, but I have no idea what they're saying. "Just talk to Aizawa, yeah?" Todoroki says. I don't know if I can. I'm scared and I don't know what to do. I nod once.
I hear them coming up the stairs and I don't know what to do. Do I sit up and act like I'm okay? Do I let him see me like this? I scramble off of Todoroki and sit up. I wipe my tears and clear my throat, fixing my hair a bit. Todoroki just looks at me weirdly. I can see from the corner of my eye. Then the door opens and both Kaminari and Aizawa look at me weirdly. I don't want him to see me so weak. I look up to him and I don't want him to see me like that. At my lowest. Even if I'm tired, I have enough energy to pretend.
"Bakugo?" He asks. I look up and meet his eyes, trying my hardest to seem strong and okay. "Are you okay?" He asks and I feel everything crumble. I get choked up and look back down instantly as my walls fall at the stupid three-worded question. My posture falls and so does my face. My head is completely down and I bite my lip to suppress the sobs that are climbing their way up my throat. That stupid question. Why did it hit me so hard?
Before I know it, Aizawa is crouched right at the edge of the bed and he meets my gaze. He saw me. He saw me like this. What do I do? What do I say? He puts a hand on my shoulder and I break. "I'm sorry," I sob out. That's all I'm doing. Crying. Crying and apologizing. I'm so pathetic. I cover my mouth to stiffle the sobs that are leaving my lips. They hate me. My mom hates. What if Aizawa hated me too?
"Do you hate me?" I blurt out. His face completely falls and he looks next to me, probably to Todoroki. He looks desperate for help. "Of course not. Why would you ask such a thing?" He tells me almost as soon as he looks back at me. He doesn't hate me. He doesn't. I feel relief wash over me. "She hates me," I say. My voice is so low and broken. I sound so stupid. So weak. I look away from him, afraid that he'd also be disappointed. He can not hate me and feel disappointed.
"Who hates you?" He asks, curiosity and concern clouding his voice. "Sh-she hates me," I repeat. It hits me again. My mom hates me. She hates me so much that the first thing she thought about doing when she called me was to tell me. My dad probably also hates me. He's just not as straight forward as my mom, so he won't admit it. "M-my mom," I wheeze out as the air leaves my lungs. She hates me. My breathing speeds up and I grip at my chest again, pulling at my shirt. It hurts. My chest hurts so much.
Why did those words affect me so much? Just three words that she rasped out. 'I hate you'. She hates me. "She hates me," I breathe out. "She said it. She told me. She told me that she hates me," I repeat over and over, really processing her words. That's all she said to me. How could she say that to me?
I feel my hands heat up and I put them on my arms so I don't hurt Aizawa or the others. My quirk goes off and then it stops almost instantly. I feel the sting on both arms as the ringing in my ears start. I'm stuck. I'm stuck in this place. In my own head full of negative thoughts. I need to get out. I need to breathe.
I get up and run. I run down the stairs and out the door. I hear them call for me, but the need for air is overwhelming. As soon at I make it outside, I fall to the floor and lay back, looking up at the sky. It's gray and I can see my breath in white clouds of smoke. My harsh and deep breathing burns with the cold bite of the air. My arms are extended out next to me and I just let the years fall as my breathing stays heavy and harsh. I sniffle every now and then. Then Mr. Aizawa's head pops up in my field of vision. His lips are moving but the ringing in my ears is too loud. I blink a few times and raise my arms to rub my ears to stop the ringing, but pain shoots up and down my arms. I groan out and turn to see the burns on my arms. Oh.
I squeeze my eyes tightly and cover my ears. I just want it all to stop. "STOP," I yell. Suddenly everything is quiet and the wind is the only thing I hear besides my shallow breathing. I open my eyes slowly and sit up. Aizawa and the other two are standing there, looking at me. I take a deep breath to stop my ragged breathing. It takes a few tries, but I finally succeed. I clear my throat because it feels horrible and everything hurts. On top of that, I'm so cold. I didn't even realize I was shivering.
I finally look at the three of them in the eyes. Tears are coming out of Todoroki and Kaminari's eyes. Tears threaten to spill in Aizawa's eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm okay now," I say and stand up. I feel better after all of that. I feel extremely guilty and I still want to die, but it doesn't feel like everything is crushing me anymore. "You're not okay Bakugo. What was that? You have to talk," Aizawa says. He clears his throat and blinks a few times to get rid of the tears. I look at the other two who are also waiting for answers.
All the worry comes back again. My meds. I need my meds. "I need my pills," I say. I hadn't taken them this morning. That's why everything hit me so harshly. I think.
Kaminari runs inside, probably to get them and the way he leaves makes my chest hurt. He looked so desperate to leave. He probably needs to cry it out. "Let's go inside. You're cold and I don't want you getting sick. We need to talk about what just happened," Mr. Aizawa says sternly and I nod. I walk past him and into the house. Kaminari hadn't come back yet, but we head to the kitchen. Todoroki puts the kettle onto the stove and then sits down with us on the table.
Kaminari them comes running down the stairs, eyes and nose looking even more red and puffy than before. He stops at the kitchen and hands me the two bottles of medication. "I couldn't find them," he says, using that excuse to hide the fact that he was just crying in that time. "Thank you. I'm sorry," I say.
"Start talking," Aizawa says. I look over at him and hesitantly make eye contact. He just urges me on. I put my hands under the table and look down as I take a shaky breath. I have to talk now. I can't keep crying. That would be annoying. Not that I'm not already being annoying.
"My dad texted me yesterday but I had muted my parents' notifications. I needed a break from them. I didn't know that she'd get hurt. I really didn't I swear," I tell him. My voice doesn't sound like my own. It's never sounded like this. "Who got hurt? Your mom?" He asks. I nod, willing myself not to cry.
"My dad told me that she was in an accident and I didn't see because I had his notifications turned off. He kept trying to reach me and then told me to get to him when I could. Th- After that, he said that I didn't care- but I do care! I swear, you have to believe me," I beg. My voice breaks at the end, but I need him to believe me. "Please believe me," I say, quieter this time. "Bakugo, look up. Stop hiding away," Mr. Aizawa says. I slowly look up. The fear is overwhelming, but he told me to.
When I finally meet his eyes, he sighs. "I do believe you. Is this what's got you so riled up?" He asks. I shake my head. "I just can't-" I don't even know. "I can't breathe," I finally say. "My chest hurts. It hurts so much and when my mom told me she hated me, I couldn't handle it. It's too much for me. I can't-" I strain out, grabbing at my neck. I need to breathe.
"Bakugo," Aizawa says softly. The way he says it is enough to pull my away from the spiral I was falling into. "You don't have to do it alone. What your mom said to you is disgusting. She shouldn't ever say that. Now, I shouldn't give my biased opinion because we're gonna start the counseling thing, but I just needed you to know that it enrages me that she actually told you that. You know what? Fuck it," he says. "It's not your fault. Whatever happened is not your fault and the fact that they're both making you feel like you had some part in it is ridiculous. They're terrible parents. What you told me earlier about them just handing you off to the shrink so that they didn't have to 'deal' with you is disgusting. But here, with us, you don't have to worry about anything. You're safe with us. No one here hates you. No one here blames you. You have mental illnesses that are dragging you down and once you overcome these things, you'll be unstoppable. We'll get you to being unstoppable," Aizawa says.
"I just can't stop thinking about... Well, about everything. It's just thoughts running at a million miles an hour and I can't handle it," I say. "What are the things you're thinking about? As they run through your mind, say them out loud. No filters. And no we won't judge you," Aizawa says.
"You could be lying. You could judge me on the spot and I could have no idea. That's not fair though because you guys are good people. But good people can still get annoyed with people who are as difficult as me and everyone knows I'm the most difficult person you can deal with. I'm so stupid and pathetic. Just thinking like this and my mom hates me. My dad thinks I don't care and it's probably because I always act like I don't care but I care about everything all the time. I'm so annoying and I just keep freaking myself out over nothing. I'm sorry for being such a freak. God my body hurts. I did this to myself though. I just want to sleep now. I'm so tired all the time and I just want to give up now. I'm scared of what you think because I look up to you and I'm scared that you'll hate me too, so maybe I shouldn't just shop talking and telling you exactly what stuff goes through my mine even though you want to know. It's not fair to take advantage of your kindness. I just hate myself. I really really hate myself. Now you guys know exactly what I think most of the time. Well, it changes but its basically the same thing repeating in different ways and okay I'm going to stop now," I say.
I shouldn't have done that. I definitely shouldn't have done that. "Sorry," I quickly add. "Don't be sorry. There's nothing to apologize for. I wanted to know what you're thinking at all times. Is it always that bad?" I nod. "It's a little less harsh with the meds but I forgot to take them this morning before we left. Sometimes it's a little more... Uh it's a little worse," I say, lowering my voice at the end even though they could all still hear me. "What do you mean 'a little worse' Bakugo?" He asks. I sigh heavily and fiddle with my fingers as I make eye contact again. "I think about just dying. Sometimes." Then I quickly look away.
"This is a lot for me. I don't know how to really describe it. It hits me all at once sometimes, but it's like it's always there. I know I'm stupid and useless, but it stays in the back of my mind. Then when I least expect it, it all comes rushing to the front and it's all I can think about. Now there's the confirmation of my mom hating me," I admit.
"I think I'm going to need to speak to your parents," Aizawa says. I freeze up. "No. You can't do that. Please don't do that," I say instantly without really knowing why I'm scared about that. Maybe it's because my parents can convince Mr. Aizawa to give up on me. To just drop me and see how much of a burden I really am. "Why not Bakugo?"
"What if you change your mind about me when you talk to them." "What do you mean?"
"What if- what if they convince you that I'm a burden. Because that's what I am to them. Honestly I think I'm a burden to you all, but what if they actually succeed in convincing you about that? I don't want to lose you. This is the first time I've had people here for me and now I don't want you guys to leave me," I cry. I need to stop crying. Right now. Just stop crying! "That won't happen Bakugo."
I hear a car door shut before I can answer and my head shoots up. My dad. The tears stop and I wipe them away instantly, sitting up straight and clearing my throat, waiting for my dad to walk through the door. I make sure there are no tears falling and run to the kitchen to get a paper towel. I blow my nose and throw it away before standing up straight. Shit, my arms. I look over at Todoroki and quickly ask for his sweater. He takes it off and I pull mine off before quickly slipping his on. He had a long sleeve on, so it was fine. As soon as I pull the hoodie down, my dad walks through the door. He looks angry before he notices that there are people here. His face changes instantly. I had never seen him like that. It makes a chill run down my spine.
"Oh, son! We have guests?" He asks in a surprised tone. I scoff and nod. "What does it look like?" I ask, same annoyed tone that I usually have. "Well, introduce me. I already know Todoroki but hello again," he says, walking over to us by the table. "Tch, whatever. That's my teacher. He just came to get permission about moving into the dorms," I say, coming up with a lie on the spot. Mr. Aizawa frowns and looks over at me, look of surprise on his face. He quickly wipes it away and stands up, sticking his hand out to shake my dad's hand.
"I'm Shouta Aizawa. As your son said before, I was sent to get your permission to let Katsuki stay at the dorms at school. I have the papers in my car, are you willing to discuss this?" Mr. Aizawa asks. My dad perks up at the part where I stay at the dorms and I felt my composure fall a bit. He really doesn't love me. He wants me gone so much that he got that excited. "Of course, I'll be happy to sign these papers. I know UA will take great care of my son," my dad says. I can't believe this. He's making stuff up just to seek like a good parent.
"Okay, great. Let me get the papers from my car. Bakugo, would you like to come with?" He asks, turning over to me completely. Thank god, I need to get out of here right now. "I nod and follow him outside. I let out a heavy breath and look down as I follow Aizawa to his car. I bump into him accidentally and I go to apologize, but he wraps his arms around me instantly.
"You're gonna make me cry," I say, voice already shaking. "It's okay. I'm sorry about your dad. He's a bad person. Let's just get through this week. By Friday, you'll be moved in and you'll be surrounded by people who love you and won't put you down," he says, voice warm. This is everything I've ever wanted. Love from a parental figure. Just to be held and cared for with kind words from an adult.
"Thank you," I say, struggling to keep my composure. "Come on," he says and pulls away. I nod and clear my throat, also pulling away and walking the rest of the way to his car with him. He quickly grabs the papers and we walk back. We walk in and he sits at the table, motioning for my dad to sit in front of him.
I just have to make it through this week with my dad. Not that bad, right?
***
Word Count: 6,709
Hiii, you guys know that vine where it's their first year anniversary of going out and the guy goes "happy one year" and then the girlfriend(who is also played by the guy) goes "I'm 27"? Well yeah, I love that vine and since this is chapter 27, I was reminded of it. Thank you guys for reading and I hope you all liked this chapter. Next one will be posted next Friday. I love you all and I'll fix typos in a bit. Let me know what you'd like to see in future chapters<3