Saffron
"Saffron, I love you, you're so beautiful and smart- no matter what happens, stay strong,"
I jolted awake at those words.
"Mum," I whispered, "Mum?"
However, when I opened my eyes, I saw a couple of paramedics and a helicopter.
So I had just been shipped off.
"Take me back home,"
"It's gonna be okay,"
"Who are you?"
"I'm Landon, and this is Olivia,"
I shook my head, going to cover my face with my hand, only to find it in restraints.
"They thought you'd lash out,"
"Please take them off,"
"We can't, doctors orders,"
"Well fuck them," I shouted, "Let me go! Take me home! Mum will be waiting,"
Cautiously, Olivia brushed her fingers through my hair, and I heard the radio be turned up. All I could muster were more tears, and clenched teeth.
"I'm not even badly hurt, let me go,"
"You split your head open, sweetheart... and you have concussion,"
"I'm not hurt," I whispered, "Please, you can put them back on when we land,"
Landon grabbed a needle and filled it with something, and I fought against my restraints to try and get away.
"Don't put me to sleep again,"
"I'm sorry, I really am sorry,"
"No you're not,"
I broke out into sobs, wanting nothing more than a reassuring hug from my mum, then my body became weak and numb.
For as long as I could, I fought the sleep, but then I realised it would give me escape from the torture of seeing the body in my mind, and gave in.
**
"You put her in fucking restraints?"
"Doctors orders,"
"I don't bloody care, that's my niece, how dare you put her in restraints,"
"Cal, she's gonna be okay, there's just a hell of a lot of relaxers in her,"
"Leave,"
The door slammed shut and I flinched, daring to open my eyes and look around. I watched as Calum- I think- undid my restraints, gently pulling me into his arms.
"I don't know how awake you are, but you're safe now. You're with us, we're gonna be okay,"
"Everyone has been so horrible,"
Hushing me, he kissed my head, then gently wiped my tears with shaky thumbs.
"This is Michael, he's gonna check you over, then we are gonna get you home,"
"My chest hurts really badly but they wouldn't listen," I whimpered, "They said it didn't,"
"How does it hurt sweetheart? Is it sharp, or aching,"
"It just, breathing,"
"It's probably stress," he said, listening with his stethoscope, "If it persists we will take you for a scan, I promise,"
I nodded and my head fell back, flopping to look at Calum.
"You're Calum Hood?"
"Yeah- your mum never showed you me?"
"I can't think properly, my brain... it's mush,"
Michael got him to step back before listening to my heart, and shining a torch into my eyes. Then, he tilted my head forward and looked at the back of it, touching a tender area of my head.
"I'm not your niece," I said quietly, "Am I?"
"Not biologically, but I've always called you that. I know... it's weird- we've not seen each other for years,"
"We spoke sometimes,"
"On odd occasions, yeah. Your mum always called when you were asleep... time zones,"
"I didn't get to say goodbye to anyone," I sniffed, "Not my home... nothing,"
"Gosh... I'm sorry, that must be awful. It's the middle of the night there, but later on we can call whoever you need to speak to,"
Michael passed me a cup of water which I sipped, looking down at myself in a gown.
"They took my clothes off me?"
"I promise things at this hospital don't work like that. My mum is already on the way with some clothes you can wear,"
"I'm so lost,"
"What they have done was really rushed and stupid, but you're here now, so we're gonna figure it out. I live with my best friend Ashton. Michael here, and Luke, they're also my best friends. We have a lovely two story apartment,"
"I recognise the names,"
"Yeah, we were all friends with your mum," Michael said quietly, "You've probably seen photos, you might remember later,"
"Why did she do it?"
"I don't, we know as much as you, but we're gonna figure this all out together,"
"I was in the house with her dead body," I said, starting to sob, "I thought she was working. I hugged her dead body,"
"Oh darling,"
"I knew she was a bit down, but I didn't know it was like this,"
"It's not your fault. Clearly, she was in pain, and now she is at ease. I know it hurts, my heart is broken, but she doesn't have that pain anymore,"
"I left everything behind, and now I have to live with you. No offence, but I hardly know you at all,"
"I get that. Completely, but we will try to get to know each other, because I'm gonna look after you and help you,"
"I'm sleepy,"
"I brought you some pastries to eat, why don't we try them?"
He placed a paper bag on my lap, and I looked inside to see a couple of croissants. Gratefully, I picked one out and took small nibbles, then gave in and finished it.
Mum adored Calum, I knew that, so I would have to trust him too. After all, he is who she gave the responsibility of me, to.
They put the tv on for me, and Michael left to work, but Calum had time off and stayed with me. So many burning questions were building up in my head, and I didn't know where to start.
"Am I badly injured?"
"Not enough for restraints," he mumbled, "But yes, we do need to be careful, I think you whacked your head on a shelf,"
"Oh, okay. Where will I sleep?"
"Ash and I have a spare room, we'll decorate it when all of your belongings arrive,"
We were interrupted by a knock on the door, Calum opening it, pulling the lady into a tight hug. It lasted longer than a normal hug, then he took a bag of shopping from her and she gave me a small smile.
They stepped outside for a bit, so I calmly watched the netflix until he came back in, feeling content about this hospital compared to the last.
"It's not much but you need some things,"
"How do you know my size?"
"She just picked up the average... if it doesn't fit then I will return them, okay?"
I nodded and he held my hand, looking at me sympathetically.
"What day even is it?"
"Thursday morning for us,"
"Thursday?"
"Yeah... time zones, again,"
"Shit- I've not spoken to Esme,"
"Your phone is at my place,"
"Can we go?"
"Not right now, you're stuffed with way too medicine. You shouldn't have been given so much so we're keeping an eye on you,"
I nodded and laid on my side, facing away from him. Looking at him hurt. It was a constant reminder of how I went from doing maths homework in the kitchen, to being shipped across the world to live with a man I had hardly ever spoken to. Stories had be told, yes, but I knew fuck all about him, and he knew nothing about me.
He wasn't mum. What if he wanted to be called dad? What if he tried to replace mum? How was he acting so normal about the situation?
"What is your job?" I asked quietly.
"I'm a surgeon,"
Ah. So he'd probably seen people die. He knew how to hide it.
Still, we were talking about his best friend.
Across our house were photos beyond photos of her and him, especially since we had no family left besides a couple of her distant cousins. Other than her work friends and me, she was pretty alone, so the photos made up for the gap.
Would he have photos?
Suddenly I felt cold, and lonely. Did he even reciprocate the love, or was he here because he had to be?
"If you're okay with being alone, I can grab us a McDonalds?"
"Why are you pretending it's normal?" I shot, "How can you just order Mcdonalds?"
"Saff,"
"Saffron. Only mum calls me Saff,"
"Sorry. I just thought you might like it,"
"Please leave me alone,"
"I'm trying to help. I don't want you to feel alone,"
"Well guess what? I do. I do feel alone because my fucking best friend has gone, and she chose to go. She chose to leave this world and she clearly didn't think life was worth living . I'm not sure what you two spoke about on the phone but she never let it show and that hurts. She hid it so well, it was carried out so perfectly and so quietly. So don't waltz into my like and ask to order mcdonalds as if everything is normal, and okay about this because my best friend is gone," I shouted, "my best friend is gone,"
"Saffron...,"
"What?" I spat, before realising he had a tear down his face.
"Please remember that she was my best friend too,"